Greetings, Gasmii! It’s PopePhilly breaking TVgasm tradition. That’s right! I’m recapping a second season of “Dancing With the Stars.”
We’ve got our usual cast of D-listers, has-beens, and people who are on ABC’s payroll anyway. I have some high hopes for this season. This is mainly because of Andy Dick. Yeah, he’s kind of annoying, but he also has the potential to be a complete train wreck. That’s really what this show needs. I hope Mr. Dick doesn’t let me down. I don’t think he will. After all, this picture exists:
Since there never is much to say in a minicap about the first episode of this show each season, let’s do a quick rundown of the contestants (with a few of my thoughts/snark).
Kellie Pickler (Dancing with Derek Hough)
Honestly, I like this one. I actually watched her season of “American Idol” and always thought she came across as a genuinely nice person. I’m not a fan of country music, but I have a lot of respect for her (assuming everything I read is true). I hope she sticks around for a while. She has the advantage of dancing with Derek (I still hate him from last season, by the way) and will have his huge fan base added to her own.
Victor Ortiz (Dancing with Lindsay Arnold)
Boxers tend to do pretty decently on this show. However, I don’t know if non-boxing fans will support him early on. Also, Lindsay is a new dancer this season. She won’t have the fan base that people like Karina, Cheryl, Mark, Tony, etc. have built up. I have a feeling he’ll be leaving early on.
Ingo Rademacher (Dancing with Kym Johnson)
He’s on General Hospital. That means that he’ll go pretty far. Soap opera fans are extremely loyal. I know he has at least my grandmother’s vote because of that alone. Also, he’s pretty damn good looking, so non-soap fans will vote for him based on that as well.
Lisa Vanderpump (Dancing with Gleb Savechenko)
Our first reality whore with no discernible talent! She’s a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. I hope all her plastic parts don’t melt under the lights.
D. L. Hughley (Dancing with Cheryl Burke)
Yay! I love D. L. I hope he sticks around just to make me laugh. With my luck, he’ll be the first one gone. I may have to actually vote this season.
Zendaya Coleman (Dancing with Val Chmerkovskiy)
Who? Oh, she’s a Disney Channel star. At 16-years-old, she’s the youngest contestant to ever appear on the show. It’s a good thing she’s already a dancer because child labor laws would probably throw a wrench into her rehearsal time.
Sean Lowe (Dancing with Peta Murgatroyd)
After “The Bachelorette,” “The Bachelor,” planning a televised wedding, and now competing on “Dancing With the Stars,” I think we can all finally believe Sean – he’s not trying to be famous. At all.
Alexandra Raisman (Dancing with Mark Ballas)
Mark gets an Olympic gymnast again. I guess the producers are trying to make up for the fact that he had to dance with Bristol Palin twice.
Dorothy Hamill (Dancing with Tristan McMannus)
Why does Tristan always end up partnered with the older contestants? I don’t mean “older” as any type of insult. I’m just noticing a pattern here. I hope that Dorothy’s experience as a figure skater helps her. It’s proven to be a benefit for past contestants. I just want to look at Tristan as long as possible.