Minicap: DWTS

Recaps

By PopePhilly | Monday, March 18, 2013 | 9:53 pm | 14 Comments
Posted in: Dancing w/ The Stars, Recaps

Greetings, Gasmii! It’s PopePhilly breaking TVgasm tradition. That’s right! I’m recapping a second season of “Dancing With the Stars.”

We’ve got our usual cast of D-listers, has-beens, and people who are on ABC’s payroll anyway. I have some high hopes for this season. This is mainly because of Andy Dick. Yeah, he’s kind of annoying, but he also has the potential to be a complete train wreck. That’s really what this show needs. I hope Mr. Dick doesn’t let me down. I don’t think he will. After all, this picture exists:

Since there never is much to say in a minicap about the first episode of this show each season, let’s do a quick rundown of the contestants (with a few of my thoughts/snark).

Kellie Pickler (Dancing with Derek Hough)

Honestly, I like this one. I actually watched her season of “American Idol” and always thought she came across as a genuinely nice person. I’m not a fan of country music, but I have a lot of respect for her (assuming everything I read is true). I hope she sticks around for a while. She has the advantage of dancing with Derek (I still hate him from last season, by the way) and will have his huge fan base added to her own.

Victor Ortiz (Dancing with Lindsay Arnold)

Boxers tend to do pretty decently on this show. However, I don’t know if non-boxing fans will support him early on. Also, Lindsay is a new dancer this season. She won’t have the fan base that people like Karina, Cheryl, Mark, Tony, etc. have built up. I have a feeling he’ll be leaving early on.

Ingo Rademacher (Dancing with Kym Johnson)

He’s on General Hospital. That means that he’ll go pretty far. Soap opera fans are extremely loyal. I know he has at least my grandmother’s vote because of that alone. Also, he’s pretty damn good looking, so non-soap fans will vote for him based on that as well.

Lisa Vanderpump (Dancing with Gleb Savechenko)

Our first reality whore with no discernible talent! She’s a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. I hope all her plastic parts don’t melt under the lights.

D. L. Hughley (Dancing with Cheryl Burke)

Yay! I love D. L. I hope he sticks around just to make me laugh. With my luck, he’ll be the first one gone. I may have to actually vote this season.

Zendaya Coleman (Dancing with Val Chmerkovskiy)

Who? Oh, she’s a Disney Channel star. At 16-years-old, she’s the youngest contestant to ever appear on the show. It’s a good thing she’s already a dancer because child labor laws would probably throw a wrench into her rehearsal time.

Sean Lowe (Dancing with Peta Murgatroyd)

After “The Bachelorette,” “The Bachelor,” planning a televised wedding, and now competing on “Dancing With the Stars,” I think we can all finally believe Sean – he’s not trying to be famous. At all.

Alexandra Raisman (Dancing with Mark Ballas)

Mark gets an Olympic gymnast again. I guess the producers are trying to make up for the fact that he had to dance with Bristol Palin twice. 

Dorothy Hamill (Dancing with Tristan McMannus)

Why does Tristan always end up partnered with the older contestants? I don’t mean “older” as any type of insult. I’m just noticing a pattern here. I hope that Dorothy’s experience as a figure skater helps her. It’s proven to be a benefit for past contestants. I just want to look at Tristan as long as possible.

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PopePhilly

Aside from making fun of reality television on a weekly basis, PopePhilly is a legal assistant by day and avid kickball player by night (well, at least on Thursdays). On the nerd front, she is an active member of the forensic speech and debate community. She spends her time judging at tournaments throughout the country and serving on the board of directors for the West Chester University alumni chapter of Pi Kappa Delta (yes, speech nerds get to pretend to be cool by having Greek letters).

14 Comments

  1. 1
    Pikey578
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 9:57 am

    I LOVE Tristan and was happy that his contemporary routine with Dorothy was good (not great, but good). He (and she, of course) will hopefully be around for quite awhile. Val choreographed an age-appropriate dance for his 16-year-old partner – colour me surprised! Kellie was quite good but I am torn since I had heard that Derek was not going to return this season (I do not like him) but maybe he returned since Maks is gone.

    I really miss Anna and Chelsea!

    Oh, and that poor dog can leave any time (and please take your owner with you)!

  2. 2
    Pikey578
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 10:06 am

    Forgot to add that Mark and his spats can leave at any time and I won’t miss him one bit. Wynona was very stiff and not very good. I enjoyed Andy Dick and found he was better than I thought he would be.

    Oh well, back to work I go.

    p.s. What is it with today’s captcha codes? My first one was “sweety pie” and this one is “easy as cake.”

  3. 3
    Faye
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    I need that action movie commercial guy to do the promo next week that starts with “In a world where Andy Dick is a better dancer than D. L. Hughley … “

  4. 4
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    @Pikey578: I miss Anna too! I have such a girl crush on that woman. Also, my captcha (before I signed in as me) was “better than a broom.” Huh.

    @Faye: Don LaFontaine is the announcer you’re thinking of. He died in 2008, so I think we’re out of luck. :(

  5. 5
    Faye
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    *slow dramatic hand on forward stereotypically gay man on ABC sitcom faint* O LORD HE DEAD !?

  6. 6
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    Popephilly, me too. I want to hate Anna bc she is so pretty and has a perfect body, but she seems so sweet, I can’t. Instead I wish I was like her haha.

  7. 7
    Faye
    Posted March 19, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    Im hoping the recap will explain what Tristan being dressed like Buckwheat cousin Cream of Wheat had to do with being a Tiny Dancer.

  8. 8
    Pegster
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 5:02 am

    Ok, two things:

    1. When did Kelly Pickler decide that “45-year-old houswife was a good look? THE HAIR OMG THE HAIR.

    2. Mark has a fan base?

    And please, please, please, please, please x infinity let Tristan stick around. I wish that just once he’d get one of the ringers. Ok, so that was three things. So sue me.

  9. 9
    SaraKate77
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 6:41 am

    Pegster – I had the SAME reaction to Kelly Pickler’s hair. And then i remembered that she shaved her head back in like October/November to show support for a friend with breast cancer. Then I felt bad for making fun of her (well, a little). BUT – ugh…it needs to get longer, faster! she looks so OLD!

    The only reason I don’t want Mark to go home early is that I like Aly Raisman!

    I’m #TeamIngo and #TeamZendaya!

  10. 10
    bbqgirl
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 8:51 am

    MAKS WHO??????? I am finding Gleb to be an excellent replacement for Maks. Would it not be great if Val actually won the Mirror Ball? I fear that Maks would shrivel up and die from envy.
    This was a pretty enjoyable start. I am know that I am in the minority here, but I thought that Kellie’s hair was WAY CUTE.

    CODE: Little did he know. HEEHEE

  11. 11
    SaraKate77
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 9:26 am

    @bbqgirl…I thought it’s a cute cut, but I really thought it made her look SO much older than she is!

  12. 12
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted March 20, 2013 at 10:50 am

    @Tapnfeet99: Yay for the Anna love. I’m sure she took this season off because she’s going through a divorce (as she announced at the end of last season). I hope she’s back soon. I always felt like she was totally underrated on that show.

    @Faye: I don’t care how Tristan is dressed. I just want to look at him. As long as he’s on the show, they can put him in a giant paper bag and I’d be happy.

    @Pegster and Sarakate77: I’m not the biggest fan of Kellie’s haircut either, but I won’t be saying a word about it (in a snarky manner) because, well, cancer. I give her a ton of credit for shaving her head while still working in an industry where her looks account for quite a bit of her fame.

    @bbqgirl: I TOTALLY had the same thought as you about Val winning this season. That would make me so happy. However, I’m not sure that Maks would be all types of pissed off (at least publicly). When Tony won last season, both he and Val seemed just as happy as Tony was. The three of them seem to have a pretty great support system going on between them.

    I was hoping to get the recap up last night, but then I saw that there was a “Behind the Scenes” episode on and I hoped that it would be something new. It was not and now ABC and I are fighting. The recap should be up tomorrow!

  13. 13
    Schadenfreude Schadenfreude
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 7:18 am

    “Super BOWEL champ” ??? Oh, the mental pictures that conjures!

  14. 14
    PopePhilly PopePhilly
    Posted March 22, 2013 at 7:24 am

    @Schadenfreude: Holy shit! I DID write Super Bowel. Well, if his dancing is terrible, that might ring true. Hahahaha.

    I guess it just goes to show that I’m always making poop jokes…even subconsciously.

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