Minicap: DWTS Week 9

She's OK everyone!

Dancing with the Stars has taken a serious turn: Each couple has to do THREE DANCES. Woof! Kirstie is not going to be able to lift an arm to retrieve her last box of peeps.

The line up is two choreographed dances and a chacha dance-off. Last man standing wins. Or in this case, youngest standing wins. Come on now, doesn’t Dancing with the Stars know that for every year older you get, your chances at losing a chacha dance off rise at an exponential rate.

My theory: Dancing with the Stars knows this and set up the contestants in such a way that the youngest, most beautiful couple will win.

This was initially how I thought the whole show would go, but Dancing with the Stars threw a curveball at me this week. There was a major injury that they recorded and showed the viewers. It wasn’t one of those Ralph-being-old-injuries or Kirstie-falling-because-of-her-fat-ankles-injuries. It was a serious Kym-landing-on-her-head-and-Hines-falling-on-top-of-her-and-crunching-her-neck kind of injuries.

Everybody is sad and worried for Kym and Hines feels terrible that his lack of dance skills led to this horrible accident.

Plus, it gives them that extra standing ovation when she performs the dance without her neck brace.

All joking aside, we’re all glad that Kym’s ok, because now that relieves us of the guilt we would feel from pushing her to this level of competitiveness with our incessant need to see bigger and better dances.

Stay tuned for the full-length recap!