By PennyDreadful | Tuesday, April 17, 2012 | 9:05 am | 15 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps

Howdy, Gasmii and welcome to a brand new series starring America’s Sweetheart, the multi-faceted talent powerhouse Eden Wood.

In the first ep, we didn’t get to know Eden because it’s assumed we already know who she is.  She has fans, people.  We did get to know her mother, Mickie; her manager, Heather; and her publicist, Andrew.  Heather and Andrew hate each other.  Andrew is a little . . . high-strung.  Mickie is her usual (I say “usual” due to her appearances on Toddlers & Tiaras) delusional self.  I counted 3 times – in a half-hour ep – that she cried.  Oy.  And the desperation to cut some kind of a deal for Eden?  Oh, so palpable.

As for Eden, she supposedly coached another pageant contestant – although we never saw any coaching – and auditioned for a recording contract.  How did that go, you may ask?  Let me just say Kim Zolciak can sleep easy tonight.  Because she’s freaking Maria Callas compared to Eden’s “song stylings”.

Much more in the full recap! And if you haven’t seen this ep yet, I recommend hitting mute when Eden starts to sing.  Otherwise you’ll have blood spurting from your ears, just like I did.

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Named for lurid serialized stories (so like today's reality TV) that sold for a penny a copy in Victorian Britain, former National Spelling Bee finalist and multiple Science Fair award winner PennyDreadful has been writing for TVGasm since 2011, and cites MST3K as inspiration.

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15 Comments

  1. 1
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 9:19 am

    PennyD– I love your recaps, but I really wonder if I could watch this. I could enter the Olympic mute-hitting competition whenever a kid appears in a commercial.

    Loathe cute kids. Okay, I read DearC’s phab recaps avidly. I rest my case.

  2. 2
    Mia
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 9:33 am

    I am sorry but…this show sucked the big one! What the hell was it about anyway????Mickie..your kid can’t sing and you need a makeover! Andrew!!! You are an asshole. I had a slight headache when I started watching this trainwreck of a show and when you started running your mouth it turned into a full blown migraine.Also, Eden’s clothes make her win the Ultimate Supreme Queen of prosta-tot!!

  3. 3
    Closet Fan
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I waited all week for this show and then forgot. All day yesterday I kept thinking there was something on that I wanted to watch but couldn’t remember until 10:29 EST. I did find some video’s on line. One was Eden’s “audition” for a record contract. The look on the A & M Records producer face was priceless. I can’t wait to read your take on it.

  4. 4
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 9:51 am

    I saw this last week on Netflix. Sory to say Mickie, your 6 year old won’t be able to carry this show- It sucked. The next time I hear you say “We’re fixin to_____________” (fill in blanks I shall take a broom and beat the tv and then myself.

  5. 5
    keebler elf
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 10:51 am

    wow they really are giving out shows to anyone these days..

  6. 6
    fairygothmom
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 11:39 am

    What a shock, the girl who the episode centered on won the Cutie Patootie pageant. It’s almost like it was fixed.

    Loved the expressions on the A&M guys during “Cutie Patootie!” That’s the look of adults trying to figure out how to tell a kid she’s adorable but just not talented enough. And yet still more talented than any Kardashian, so… *shrug*

  7. 7
    Closet Fan
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    http://www.logotv.com/video/misc/757424/edens-world-mickie-wood-interview-3.jhtml#id=1681447

    For the love of God Mickie, please get a make over. Mickie and her cray cray train.

  8. 8
    April
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    I want to watch this, but not sure if Hulu or anywhere online is going to have it up. I don’t have cable. The previews I have seen look pretty hilarious.

  9. 9
    gun kata
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    The arguing between Andrew and whomever else must deal with Andrew has ensured that I won’t watch this again. I was hoping the episode would explain why Eden has a show, but alas. The cutey patootey song was simply awful. Eden is pretty poised for a six-year-old… I guess someone in the group needs to be.

  10. 10
    ❤ MrsSmartyPants ❤
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    The first episode is on Netflix – it was craptastic :)

  11. 11
    Dear Crabby
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    “Let me just say Kim Zolciak can sleep easy tonight. Because she’s freaking Maria Callas compared to Eden’s “song stylings”.”

    HAHAHAHAA! OMG, that was HILARIOUS!

    I can’t wait for the full recap, this mother/daughter combo is such a trainwreck. I will never understand these parents who want their kids to be celebutards…not even known for anything except being famous. I guess we’ll find this stuff funny when China becomes our new overlords just because they speak English better than most Americans. Yeesh.

    Glad you’re watching so I don’t have to. With my age, I really need to take special care of my eardrums.

  12. 12
    crankyguy crankyguy
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    I just watched this on Netflix. The A&M execs were especially impressed by the pre-song pelvic thrusts. When the comments from the record company are things like, “Well, she’s not shy.” then I think a contract might be wishful thinking

  13. 13
    April
    Posted April 17, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    ok thanks I do have NF

  14. 14
    April
    Posted April 18, 2012 at 11:27 am

    LOL this show is a hot mess! I love that fun looking kid place that the agent and manager got into a bitch fight at. I think they opened it up just for Eden which is funny but she probably would have had more fun if she had other kids to play with. I actually really like Eden. She seems like a sweet girl and she says some cute stuff. But the adults are all crazy.

  15. 15
    Liz W
    Posted April 19, 2012 at 8:42 am

    ‘Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? – The Prequel’

    Micki’s gonna find herself being held prisoner in her bedroom in another 30 years. Just Saying.

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