Minicap: Famous Food

Recaps

By TheNooch | Monday, July 11, 2011 | 11:00 am | 8 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps

famous foodIf you think opening up a restaurant with one bitchy celebrity in charge is hard, imagine 7 bitchy celebrities! You don’t have to imagine anymore as fantasy becomes reality on the newest VH1 endeavor to regain America’s attention, Famous Food.

The Dolce Group, which is Lonnie Moore and Mike Malin or two talking heads on a Real Estate business card, has decided that celebrities + restaurants + Sunset Strip = great success, hence their decision to film the re-vamp of former Sunset restaurant ‘Ketchup’ with celebrities. The only thing wrong with this equation: the celebrities.

Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub, Vincent Pastore from The Sopranos, The Hills’ Heidi Montag, members of Three 6 Mafia DJ Paul & Juicy J, high-class call girl Ashley Dupre and ex-Bachelor Jake Pavelka are all part of the crack team they’ve assembled to get this bitch off the ground. The reason that these celebrities are D-list is because nobody cares to watch them do anything except fail. Although, this could be a touch of brilliance by The Dolce Group, if their business plan is to reel customers in order to bear witness to what true failure looks like. Lord knows the American public loves nothing more than a good train wreck.

This rag-tag bunch has just 28-days, and $150,000, to remodel, design and staff the restaurant, a price tag which they all balk at because it’s what they charge per night club appearance…in their dreams.

It’s just what you would expect the standard Reality Show Competition to be: a bunch of sad attention whores that are fighting over camera time. Since all these “celebs” know the secrets of getting face time, it’s going to be all drama and no plot. You’re welcome America.

Unless this is just a clever documentary to prove to the American people what feeble minds we choose to entertain us, I don’t know what else we can learn from this series. I’m just hoping that Heidi gets too close to one of the fryers and starts melting.

About

The nooch is 5 foot 3.  She hates sushi and once she watched a movie on Lifetime from start to finish without making a sarcastic comment.  Once.  That's all.

Listen to her talk on her podcast here: www.megaboomradio.com

8 Comments

  1. 1
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 11:22 am

    I can’t take Mike Boogie seriously, after he masturbated in a box on the BB Live Feeds back in the day. I guess this piece of shit show was his Plan B, when Dr. Will said he wasn’t going into the house?

  2. 2
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Yesssss, so mad that I allowed myself to watch but so happy the show is being recapped. It should be called Infamous Food, because each of these “celebrities” is famous in their own right, which is NOT the same as actually being famous.

    Also, why is it that the lamer the “celebrity,” the harder they push the term? My god, if I never hear the word “famous,” “fame” or “celebrity” again it will be too soon. Which will not bode well for me watching this show.

  3. 3
    Elmstreet
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Not that I miss the guy at all, but where is Spencer Pratt? I was under the impression that Heidi can’t breathe in and out until Spencer whispers a reminder to her every two seconds, and that he was never one to turn down an opportunity to be in front of a camera.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    Don’t speak his name Elmstreet!!!

  5. 5
    Elmstreet
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    No, it’s okay, ClassyDrunk! He only visits you if you say his name three times in a row.

  6. 6
    2Hyper
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    This show title is a misnomer. I really thought it was about popular food. Talk about disappointment that its about has-been, non talented (and I use this term loosely) celebrities trying to run a restuarant!

  7. 7
    patbsaid
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm

    It was Howie, not Boogie, that masturbated in a box. This show is the apocalypse of reality game shows.

  8. 8
    patbsaid
    Posted July 11, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    Oops, i looked it up and they BOTH used the Jack Shack.

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