MiniCap: Friday Night Lights


00. MiniGasm Photo

My sentiments exactly, except replace COACH with FNL!

As we near the highly anticipated series finale of FNL, the drama gets ramped up as storylines are steered towards conclusion.  It’s hitting home that FNL will officially be over soon.  Matt Saracen is now on Off the Map (or was, since it’s been cancelled), Luke Cafferty is on the Chicago Code, Hastings Ruckle is in that 9 Lives show over on ABC Family, and Texas Forever and Coach and Julie Taylor are showing up in movies.  Emmy nominations are announced soon.  Please, NATAS, I beg you…. NOMINATE THIS SHOW FOR OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES!

This week’s episode starts with Coach Father Figure meeting with Shane State Dude, getting the official job offer that includes a recruitment budget, full control over the football program, and a three year contract with a two-year option.  Not to mention a big house with a beautiful in-ground pool.  The offer is clearly too good to ignore, but there’s no time to consider it privately.  The media picks up the rumors that Coach is leaving, and Booster Dick starts a crusade with Principal Downtrodden to convince Coach to stay put.  At East Dillon’s fall sports banquet, he arranges a tribute to Coach to show him how deeply he’s impacting the community and the kids he’s coaching.

While Coach’s prospects look bright and promising, Blind Side Lite’s are imploding.  Deadbeat Dad gets the call from Okla. Tech that they’ve made an offer to the other quarterback they were considering, leaving Blind Side Lite on the outside looking in.  Wasn’t that what TMU did to Hayseed Hottie?  My, how the tables have turned, huh?  Slapped across the face by the harsh hand of reality, Blind Side Lite realizes that Coach was right, and he goes to make amends to Coach, promising to earn his job back as QB1.  Deadbeat Dad, despite his son’s request to cool it on the meetings, presses forward with other meetings.  Blind Side Lite walks out on him, and when he tries to play the concerned father card, Not Sandra Bullock finally steps out of the wings, laying the smackdown on Deadbeat Dad, saying that Blind Side Lite needs a father, not a damn agent!  AMEN!

Small Town Loser prepares for Texas Forever’s upcoming parole hearing.  Their lawyer suggests he line up a bunch of character witnesses to help sway the parole board in their favor.  With Coach and Booster Dick on board, he stresses over what he’s gonna say, worried that he’s gonna let his brother down.  Despite the necessity of his testimony, Texas Forever doesn’t want Small Town Loser to speak on his behalf.  At the hearing, he stumbles through his speech, followed much more eloquently and passionately by Coach Father Figure and Booster Dick.  Small Town Loser is afraid that he’s only letting his brother down again, but in the end, Texas Forever is awarded parole and comes home to rejoin the Riggins family, complete with T&T Girl.  Drama will no doubt ensue.

In other news, Principal Downtrodden sends Tami-Joe Clark to a conference where she’ll participate on a panel about college admissions.  While there, she passionately speaks about working more to meet kids’ needs as opposed to focusing on standardized test scores, clearly impressing a college admissions officer she knew from her days as principal.  Tinker, showing Maribel the Pig at a fair, wins 2nd place and $75 prize money.  T&T Girl grows closer to Hayseed Hottie, engaging in serious discussion about a possible future together.  And Hayseed Hottie seeks advice from Tami-Joe Clark about his future, which looks more and more like it will NOT include football.

In a rousing conclusion to the episode, Blind Side Lite mans up, showing up at Coach’s home before leaving for the first playoff game to promise complete loyalty to Coach if he chooses to stay at East Dillon.  And Coach, speaking to a reporter at the send-off pep rally, announces his intention to stay in Dillion as coach of the Red Storm!

Slumrville

Slumrville was born on the first day of May in the year 1978, in Brooklyn, NY, and the world barely took notice.  It became increasingly evident that he would never grow up to be an Olympic gold medalist, pop superstar, Oscar winning actor, well respected news anchor, doctor, lawyer, or billionaire CEO.  He did, however, have a passion for two things: television and books.

While other children were playing outside, he sat and watched soaps with his beloved gramma or read the latest Mary Higgins Clark or Sidney Sheldon novel.  He eventually discovered a talent for writing his own stories, and built a whole pipe dream about being a best selling novelist.  The dream took him all the way to college, where he pursued a BFA in creative writing.  After graduation, the hammer of reality beat him into submission, with only television to distract him from his bitter disappointment in himself.  He has since held a string of administrative positions, punctuated by bouts of unemployment.

But the dream lives on as Slumrville now joins the staff of TVGASM.  His DVR is currently set to record American Idol, DWTS, Top Chef, Big Brother, Toddlers and Tiaras, Brothers and Sisters, Chuck, Hawaii Five-0, Castle, Parenthood, General Hospital, Glee, Blue Bloods, the Event, Raising Hope, Modern Family, Cougar Town, The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, Community, Outsourced and ABC Family Reruns of Gilmore Girls.  His favorite shows from years gone by include 24, Everwood, My So-Called Life, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Dollhouse, Ugly Betty, Picket Fences, and the Golden Girls.

Slumrville currently resides in Easton, PA with his cats, Smokey and Collette, and thanks to the wonders of Skype, his lost distance gay lover, Twinkle.

2 Comments

  1. 1
    plockeness monster
    Posted June 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

    Tim looked extra greasy this episode. I know he was in jail, but damn, they do have soap on a rope. USE IT TO WASH YOUR HAIR, TIM!!

  2. 2
    JasonR
    Posted June 29, 2011 at 7:03 am

    Unfortunately, Luke’s show Chicago Code was cancelled too. Too bad because it was really good – produced by the same guy who did “The Shield”. Also, don’t forget Coach Taylor gracing the silver screen this summer as one of the heros in “Super 8!”

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.