MiniCap: Gossip Girl

Did you just fart?

I watched Gossip Girl live this week, with the commercials and everything. so I thought I would try a mini-cap.  I think its easiest to go character by character.

Dan: Nate, Rufus, Blair, and Serena still hate Dan because of what he wrote about them in his book.  Dan is becoming increasingly famous and Harvey Weinstein wants the rights to the movie.  Serena’s boss wants them too, so it looks like S is gonna have to bring the slutty back.  PS: I just did a wikipedia search of Harvey Weinstein for background info. Gossip Girl was playing up the Oscar factor because he was executive producer of films such as Good Will Hunting and Pulp Fiction.  More recent credits include getting his name dropped on the CW and executive producing Zack and Miri Make a Porno. HAHA. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I’m pretty sure he’s occupying Wall Street right now.

Blair: Blair and Louis reveal that B is pregnant to their families.  The Queen insists B move to Monaco, and B toys with the idea until she is presented with a legal contract that requires her to stay in Monaco at all times or give up custody of the baby.  Blair’s evil stepsister-in-law is doing everything in her power to destroy B, but she ends up alienating Louis as well. Louis distances himself from his fam and stays in NYC with B. But he also seems to have found an incriminating envelope in B’s drawer (the paternity test from two weeks ago).

Serena: Serena continues on her quest to be taken as serious employee by doing what she does best: whoring herself.  She tells Dan that he’s the love of her life and bats a few eyelashes so she can gain the movie rights to Inside.

Chuck: Chuck manages to regain feelings emotionally and in his genitals at the same time.  He tries to pursue a hottie psychiatrist he meets at the dog park, but ends up realizing he needs her professional help after she scathingly psychoanalyzes him.

Nate: Nate manages to be the least interesting and most attractive person on the series.  He’s still working for Diana, but he’s also obsessing about JFK.  Um, okay Gossip Girl writers.  Do you realize your show is called GOSSIP GIRL? And your target market is 11-17 year olds (/20-somethings who enjoy pointing out your shortcomings on the internet)? I think JFK is a lil high brow for this demographic. Especially since most of the people watching the show thought Nate was talking about the airport. Except for my readers, of course.

Charlie: Charlie co-conspires with Lady Cougar (Diana) to get some dirt for the launch of Diana’s new site, NY Spectator.  She gets Nate to help her break into the van der Woodsen’s safe to get incriminating dirt.  Nate helps her get an attack of conscience for her fake family, and she decides not to expose the contents…or maybe she does…

Besides the main people, Cyrus makes an appearance.  Oh, and this episode is supposedly taking place on Yom Kippur and apparently everyone on this series is a Jew. Or a fake one. I’m not sure. It’s kind of confusing, especially since Yom Kippur was a couple weeks ago. Rufus and Lilly overcome social anxiety and make a group outing, and Rufus ends his beef with Dan.

Anyways, that was a super brief summary of what happened this week! More detailed recap to come in a few days. Hit me in the comments! xoxo