Minicap: Hell’s Kitchen

18 Comments

1. 1
   roger
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:02 pm

   SPOILER
   didn’t the “historymaker” just finish filling his bedpan with half-digested chicken wings?

2. 2
   Andyourlittledogtoo
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm

   I’m beginning to suspect that the reason we are being subjected to all of this backroom drama is because Hell’s Kitchen producers wanted to get the backstory out there in order to explain the inevitable flurry of Sheriff’s Department helicopters combing the desert in search of the bodies….

   A taste test immediately after the BBQ chicken wing contest? Yeah, that’s reasonable. Totally a true test of the palette.

   This show will not be satisfied until a) one of the overweight chefs (whose profession is cooking, not longshoreman) strokes out carrying 150 pounds of merchandise, or b) there is an actual murder in the dorm, or c) someone passes out and drowns in the hot tub after consuming massive amounts of alcohol.

3. 3
   timgunnssister
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:12 pm

   I’m voting for ‘c’. As in Tiffany.

4. 4
   Andyourlittledogtoo
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm

   We live in hope.

5. 5
   michkabibbles
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm

   A taste test immediately after the BBQ chicken wing contest? Yeah, that’s reasonable. Totally a true test of the palette.

   -that’s what i thought, too, although it seemed that the “chefs” who did the worst didn’t actually participate in the wing eating (clemenza and robyn)

6. 6
   SuburBint
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:55 pm

   I watched the episode on Hulu this morning and honestly couldn’t remember anything about it until I read this minicap. I think Hell’s Kitchen needs to be cancelled. It’s not remotely interesting anymore.

7. 7
   Laura Gill
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 2:19 pm

   Not that half of them would have done any better on the taste test challenge, anyway, given that most (all?) of them are smokers.

8. 8
   crankyguy
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 3:33 pm

   I saw a Top Chef Masters where they did the blind taste test with the established “master chefs” and they didn’t do very well either. Apparently, it’s harder than it looks.

   I’ve also seen taste tests where people were asked to judge which raw fruits and vegetables were better given the choice of organic or conventional when they were told which was which before tasting. They almost always chose organic as superior both when they were told the truth and when they we lied to about which was organic and which was not.

9. 9
   michkabibbles
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 5:09 pm

   i can understand not knowing a specific fish, or mixing up shallot and onion, but not knowing cilantro was pretty damning i think. it’s smell and taste is so distinctive. and i admit i don’t eat a lot of tofu, but what i’ve had has been creamy. is there any way it could be cooked to be mistaken for turkey?

   and i actually think that justin’s squash blossoms sounded yummy.

10. 10
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    I think that the sample foods are different from the way you would usually consume them. That turkey looked overcooked and completely unseasoned. It probably tasted like absolutely nothing. There are some meat substitutes that could simulate that texture, like TVP (textured vegetable protein) and mycoprotein (made from a sterilized hydroponic fungus), neither of them has that tofu creaminess. A lot of people think that all meat analogues are made from tofu, maybe that’s where the confusion came from. Or maybe they are just not real chefs and have no idea what they are doing, and shouldn’t make up excuses for them.

    Have I made you all hungry for some mycoprotein tacos? Mmmmm.

11. 11
    michkabibbles
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    @aweful eyebrow: if there’s anything that sounds tastier than ‘meat analogues’, i don’ t know what it is. i’m a little familiar with seitan (is that a thing?), but i don’t know anything about anything else you mentioned. i don’t know if mycoprotein sounds tasty as much as it sounds….like it comes from a petrie dish.

12. 12
    vallegirl
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    I didn’t think the tofu for turkey was that off. Especially since it was established it was very dry turkey and if the tofu is a firmer, spongier texture and cooked it might possibly have a similar texture to overcooked turkey breast.

    But confusing cilantro for tarragon? That’s really dumb.

13. 13
    awfuleyebrow
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    I have never tried a meat substitute that was worth eating, but I have had to cook for many new-age hipsters who I am convinced gorge themselves on bacon wrapped slices of endangered species as soon as they are out of sight range of others.

    Yup, seitan is indeed a thing. It’s basically rubberized wheat gluten. Mmmmm. You want a seitan burger?

14. 14
    michkabibbles
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    the only tofu i’ve ever really had is fried, and it’s been a little creamier in the middle. i don’t have any experience with it in its ‘natural’ form.

    i just remember an episode of top chef where the vegetarian chef made chili rellenos stuffed with seitan. it looked like silly putty.

15. 15
    crankyguy
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    i just remember an episode of top chef where the vegetarian chef made chili rellenos stuffed with seitan. it looked like silly putty.

    The chef that made that was the first kicked off and it was those chili rellenos that did it. She was in Kevin “Dirty Bear” Gillespie’s season, and I remember him commenting, “Seitan? Nobody uses that stuff because it tastes yuck.”

16. 16
    michkabibbles
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    i remember! she had huge ear gages and a neck tattoo. i loooved dirty bear-one of my favorite all time contestants.

17. 17
    roger
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 8:06 pm

    @crank and mich~the BEST season of top chief. mrs. r and i ate at brian voltaggio’s restaurant in fredrick, md, VOLT, and it was fabulous (and fabulously expensive). shook hands with bvolt as well; what a thrill! a class act, good teeth great smell. we have to get to dirty bear’s in atlanta some time when we have the cash.

    as for blindfold tastetests, its never wrong to say “tastes a lot like chicken”

18. 18
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 11:27 am

    I seriously do not like Kimmie.