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Monday, August 13, 2012
10:38 pm
70 Comments
Greetings, Gasmii! With “Hell’s Kitchen” and “Million Dollar Listing LA” winding down, it’s time for me to come at you with a new show! BlueCanary and I will once again be tag teaming Gordon Ramsay!
Take the key to your room, Gordon? Of course I will!
The first episode takes us to the Juniper Hill Inn in Woodstock, VT where owners Robert and Ari are living far beyond their means. The staff isn’t even getting paid because they are offering free food and rooms to their friends to try to show off. In fact, rates haven’t even changed since the hotel opened despite the terrible economy. Before Gordon even gets to the hotel, he learns from the locals that no one really feels welcome there. Ari and Robert only like guests of a certain economic status.
The problems just get worse! First of all, Robert thinks it’s a good idea to put Gordon in a room that smells like raw sewage because it had some plumbing issues. Reread that sentence and just let it sink in for a moment. The hotel doesn’t serve lunch, the cost for a meal is $59 for three courses ($74 if lamb is ordered), and they don’t want anyone in the restaurant who can’t afford that much. Then a RAWR gets thrown out when Gordon tries the food. Furthermore, the staff isn’t getting paid on time. When they do get paid, money is missing from their paychecks. One poor woman only made $6,000 last year!
It looks like this is going to be an interesting season. I love quiet intense version of Gordon. It’s so terrifying.
BlueCanary will be taking care of Tuesday night’s episode! Check back soon for the full recap.
TV Social
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70 Comments
I think this might be my new favorite show. I can’t wait to see part 2 tomorrow.
Hotels you never ever want to stay at. Who do we hate worse? Ari or Robert? I vote Robert because he’s had more lines,although the art lecture was a new low for a gracious host.I thought he’d bring out a riding crop in a minute.
I can’t believe how appalled Robert was at the staff being mad about not being paid. His boyfriend was just as big an idiot though, they both deserve each other. Good thing they can’t produce offspring and let’s hope they never adopt.
The RV…errr I mean Motor Coach was just over the top. I loved when the camera was inside and it was nothing special. I can’t believe that all these people work there and haven’t moved on to a job that actually pays. After a few times when I relize there is a pttern of non-payment, I would leave.
I hope they won’t spread Gordon too thin ..
Why American business owners need foreigners to teach them how to manage their business? !!
Oooh, I would take that room key too! I love Gordo…he is just as tough and no-nonsense as Mr. Handbasket but a lot better looking.
i want to know how barbara manages to keep that 70 year old face looking so fabulous on 6000 a year.
i admit i got kind of excited to see the hoarding aspect. i can’t believe workers just don’t go in there and take things to compensate for lost wages.
Omg this is my new fav show…my boyfriend and I will watch anything with Ramsay and the last five minutes of this ep were so good…..We had to rewind the DVR and watch again.
These two owners are something else…I felt like I was watching “the shining” meets ” nothing but trouble” ( a god awful movie, please someone else tell me they remember it, ha)
I can’t wait for part two, and the full recap!
Love Gordon, love this show, and love that you two are recapping!
When Robert said, “they don’t HAVE to work here” my head almost exploded!! The stream of profanity that burst from my mouth very well might have cause Gordon Ramsay to blush!!
I cannot wait for the full recap AND the second episode!!
And I’m with Michkabibbles – “you can’t pay me? No problem! I just love selling stuff on Craigslist!!”
WishICould-Every time I complain about anything-That’s the same fucking line I get. Damn-I scared the dog off the couch when I heard that one. (Good thing YKW wasn’t home.)As if people always have a choice to quit where they work,live,whatever.Best show ever.
They own a gorgeous antique-filled mansion and live in a (you have to know it cost more than) $100,000 motor coach?I take that back. It was cluttered and fussy. Building-good. Antiques-way over the top. I do not want to sit like a target in that dining room.
Do you think Robert’s head would explode if he came to the South and someone complimented his “motor home”!?!? : D. In keeping with the Southern tradition… I think they need to have one Hell of a yard sale, pay their employees and clean that crap up!!!
My sympathy level is at ZERO for these two !! They come across SO badly and I doubt that can be blamed on the magic of TV editing.
@wishicoulddance: i also wish i could dance. doesn’t stop me from trying.
also-the absolute waste of what was sitting in the basement and those storage units floored me. it’s just kind of disgusting. and some of it looked really lovely (as someone who can only afford to buy furniture you have to assemble out of a box).
my favorite part of the episode was when ari said ‘you are not the boss here, i’m the boss’, and gordon responded that you actually have to pay people to be the boss.
and didn’t barbara say they just stopped answering the phones? the way she said it made it seem like people were still calling for reservations and inquiries, but robert and ari just stopped answering the phone. that can’t be right, can it?
i hope i never get to the point where love means giving someone a million dollars out of my retirement to fiddle faddle around on pig signs and gigantic spoons. the waste is absolutely appaling.
@michkabibbles I thought she meant they started to ignore her complaints and requests. Some of the other staff members mentioned the owners having bad communication. So I think she meant they stop answering calls from the employees.
Oh how I wished that the whole staff just walked out the door when that douche bag said they didn’t have to work there! Two condescending assholes for the price of one. Ari giving that “art lesson ” and then implying what stupid people they were for not knowing what that ugly painting was… The other one – hordeing up the office so he had an excuse not to write out paychecks and hiding in his RV. Classy!
@sagitarriuskim-that would make much more sense than what i was thinking!
@featherhead-i was thinking the same thing-walk out and then hit them with a suit for back pay. what jerks.
My eyes just welled up.
@Moli: Please tell me it was because of the bathtub scene on tonight’s episode? That made me cry with happiness too!
I’m working fast for you guys! I’m currently under a tornado watch and I can see the lightning in the distance, but I’m hoping to finish the full thing before the storm gets here!
You know-I ‘ll bet a lot of us thought the very same thing Featherhead,when those idiots said the staff was free to leave. Why don’t you all get up and walk out! What will they do? Dock your pay? But then we would get to watch Ramsey destroy them for another hour. I hope they all find new jobs. Most of them seem well qualified. But Frick and Frack? No-you can’t blame it on the editing. The tone Robert took in his attempt to be masterful with Ramsey ,so funny. Maybe there will be actual finger-shaking tonight! But organization? Hiring an auction house to sell some of his over-flow so they can make a go of it? How about renting out 1/2 the paintings if he can’t bear to sell them? There’s enough land he could board a few horses. Then there’s the unrealistic-lowering prices,fixing the plumbing,welcoming the village as customers. They must have historical books in the library. For now,with a chef who’s limited, serve a limited menu of two selections based on typical menus of the era.
Mulled wine . Salads with nasturtiums.Rough breads cut in half that serve as plates for the dinner to come (gone with the linen and Persian rugs-Robert will hate it). Or-since there are 2 dining rooms,make one hi-style-but not gay-guys gone wild with Sheffield pottery dogs. Make the other one Rustic 1700′sDress up in costumes. triple their salaries. Put them out on the steets to advertise-one group hi-style,one group,rustic. You could have them demonstrate in the town center-” we are the 99%” Put them in the stocks. Throw white rolls at them . It’s 1/2 hour lunch time parade to drum up business and do what Ramsey always says-make the group cohesive. And keep it simple. And if the bosses don’t like it, give the minions a chance to buy them out. That’s what I would do. Two choices on two sides . Menu changes once a month Picnics,haywagon rides, easter egg
rolls, pumpkin harvesting,,Christmas,etc,and friends pay double,and micro-brewery nights on Fri/Sat/Sun on the rustic side and some other room downstairs.Beer rules and it comes in from SF and Boston.We go to the Penninsula to try out new brews at a little German place with live music. It’s a big draw.
I know-” Mr.Stickuphisbutt and Ari-I joined the Hitler youth at 3″ will never budge an inch.
And as the RV chugs slowly into the sunset, we wish the boys an exploding sewage system.
Gah! Sorry, guys. I was hoping this would be up by tomorrow morning. It’s time to power down due to lightning.
It should be up tomorrow evening.
This looked as scripted as Kitchen Nightmares, watch today Gordan will wave his magic wand (which the owners will love) and TA-DA everyone is making 40K a year and the town loves it and everyone is crying and hugging (which the owners love).
Ishkabibble-I thank G-d for furniture that comes out of a box and needs assembling-no-no IKEA-I mean from cheap old hardware stores. We bought a hutch and the bottom was cracked. We started on the top. It was cracked. We returned it and back then,there were weekend antique sales at the malls. We found a hutch,and learned to re-finish. Still have it.Scraped out the wallpaper,learned about grades of sandpaper,steel wool,tung oil. Learned to love patina,proportion, grain,mistakes,all of it. Happy not to have enough money to buy Ikea,Danish modern,some assembly required. You could say I’m super re-cycling not to mention buying American. I love antiques more than anything but history itself.Love antiques. I get a high from finding a $3 piece and researching it for the next 2 weeks. I think Robert doesn’t collect for the same reason.
Could someone please tell me who Ari reminds me of? It’s like a cross between Michael York and Dieter from Sprockets…but there has to be one person that encompasses both.
Now is ze time on Hotel Hell vhen ve dance!
@ Chicken Lips — He totally reminded me of someone too, and it’s right at the back of my brain, but every time I get close to figuring out who it is, it poofs. Driving me nuts!
Any show the Gordon Ramsey stars on I will watch. I just love him. I am looking forward to tonight’s episode. Hopefully he puts that stuffed shirt totally in his place. But then, that Gordon
Did anyone else feel sorry for the pigs stuck in a corner of the basement? That was the most appalling thing to me.
@Chicken Lips – Ari = Lurch?
@ Chicken Lips – Dieter, LMAO…Schprockets!!! If only Ari had been wearing a black turtleneck the similarity would be complete!!
@Chicken Lips and Helena: At least not one had to touch Ari’s monkey.
The 2nd part was as good as the first. I just so love Gordon and I am faithfully watching every show he produces. As long as those 2 guys keep the Inn running the way Gordon showed them, they should have a hit. Waiting for the next show.
It is with great regret that I really show my age here but…. Give him a monocle and a German officer’s uniform and Ari makes me think of Col Klink from “Hogan’s Heroes”. Granted I was VERY young when this was on but that same snooty attitude, I’m the boss, clueless about what’s going on around him thing with both. But the Deiter thing was really close, too!!! ; )~
@Josh Darius — you called it. I missed the first episode, but in the second episode Gordo has made a miraculous attitude adjustment in the owners and now all bodes well. What I thought was particularly fake in the second episode was one of the owners standing up in a crowded competitor’s bar and telling all the customers to come try his bar instead. In all these Gordon-fixes-it shows, the owners seem stupidly hostile to Ramsay in the first half and by the second half they become putty in his hands. For me, this formula has played itself out, and from now on I’ll be reading the recaps without watching the show.
my favorite part was when gordon got so disgusted with robert lying about tips, he jumped in his SUV and angrily sped away down the road, only to slam on his brakes and return, to help the staff (do it for the staff!).
@michkabibbles: I’m sure the fact that Gordon is getting a paid for this show and is probably contractually obligated to finishthe episode played into his decision too!
The details will be in the full recap, but I found some information that leads me to believe Juniper Hill wasn’t hurting as much as they let on.
@popephilly: oh i’m sure!
i loved the moment for the sheer drama queeniness of it all!
@michkabibbles: I love how much of a queen Gordon can be. I love when he turned around in the car and said something like, “I need to help the staff.” I just thought, “No! You need to follow the script!”
They didn’t even have signs saying Dining Room or Guest Room? Ha! Sad. And of course the fool doesn’t know a real antique from a repro. Way to lose your life’s savings and on the East Coast at that. Hardy har har har. I laugh.I still wager they go down in flames. The fun in collecting antiques is the hunt,not in squandering money. Finding a dumb seller who doesn’t know what they’re selling is always fun. I did better in rust and dust shops but now I prowl online and find the occasional numbskull. This year I found a Black Forest 5 stem candelabra in Salem being sold as a “witches candle stick” because it was on a mantle over a cauldron. It needed re-gluing of the pegs-good sign of age shrinkage,a little singeing from candle burn,very typical oak leaf hand carving from Germany,and after I made them a $25 offer-mine mine mine. Yes,I’m a witch,but it’s worth $165. Antiques-not how much $ you have, but how much you know.Much more fun that way. Being poor can be a game. As for the pigs, they deserved a nice room or an enclosed pen-something. Glad they went for the micro-brewery pub idea. They need to bury Ari. He’s Hitler Youth all the way. And a volunteer,not a draftee.
Is it bad form to mention something from the second episode on the first episode’s minicap? Fug it — I’m doing it anyway. I loved how Robert explained Ari’s harsh, stern demeanor to Gordon by saying that Ari is Finnish. Actually, that DOES explain a lot.
@Popephilly (29) They probably did have to touch Ari’s monkey but that didn’t make the edited cut.
@wishIcoulddance (32) Col. Clink! That might be it!
@Chicken Lips: Maybe touching Ari’s monkey was considered enough of a tip for the staff according to Robert.
Finnish??? Are you Frickin kidding me? I thought he said constipated? Finns and Hungarians are related linguistically.They are the only 2 peoples who speak the same language group-Finno-Ugric. While Hungarians are known as very dark and depressed people,they are also great hosts,boisterous,given to drinking and singing and dancing. I imagine Finns are similar-but with fish. My father was Hungarian,and he was all those things but depressed. Don’t blame Finnland-I still say-Hitler youth.
THE DINGO ATE YOUR SPARKLE BABY!
ChickenLips-Hitler youth.
Would that be the openly gay branch of the Hitler Youth? Not even to mention that Ari ain’t no youth of any description. Are you claiming that Robert didn’t mention Ari being Finnish as the reason for Ari being the way he is? And, yes KM, I already know that I don’t have any reading comprehension or analytical reasoning skills, so don’t bother to point that out again.
Oh, hey! This thread again!
So-we’re going with the theory that Hitler wasn’t, mein little Kranky Putzel?
I don’t know if Hitler was or wasn’t, and neither do you. What we do know is that Nazis were not a particularly gay-friendly bunch, not publicly anyway. If Hitler was, then it must have been like Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig.
“Nothing but Trouble” – what a ghastly movie. I remember it all right, and NOT in any kind of good way. It actually scared the crap out of me more than some horror movies, and I don’t think it was really supposed to be scary.
I have the GF officially hooked on Gordon Ramsay. It’s taken a couple years, but she finally is sitting right there with me loving every minute. THIS one though, combined all of my favorite things. B&Bs, New England, Gordon Ramsay, food, liquor and a couple of gay guys. And we may be a lesbians but Gordon in the tub was still awesome, did you notice he got naked TWICE? Anyway, I digress.
Robert and Ari, what idiots. I think Robert finally got what Gordon was trying to say but that Ari, not so much. Anyone else think “Ya know, that Robert might have been a decent kid till Ari got hold of him and ‘taught’ him how to be a snob”. Eh, just a thought. The whole RV thing…who BUYS a $100,000 RV when they are at like….20% capacity most nights? Save your $100,000 and literally get a room. Also felt so bad for the poor pigs! What is the point of having them down there? That’s animal abuse if you ask me.
Loved the show, loved the recap! Thanks!
You guys are going to get me FIRED!
@Hbgchick: I’m so happy your girlfriend is a recent convert to the Church of Ramsay!
I think we can all agree (no matter what our orientations may be) that a naked Gordon is a wonderful Gordon. I want to open a shitty hotel just so there is a chance that he will be naked somewhere near me! My weekends tend to be lost to BBC America showing marathons of “Kitchen Nightmares.”
I’m still baffled by the RV too! They own a gorgeous mansion! They could easily just call one of the rooms theirs and leave it unavailable to rent! I just used a lot of exclamation points.
I totally got a Hitler Youth vibe off of Ari as well. Something about the way he carries himself and snaps at even the slightest hint of what he perceives to be disobedience or someone questioning his methods. I was also surprised to hear that he was Finnish. We have a fairly large community of ex-pat Finns in my town and they look/sound nothing like him (although I suppose they and Ari could be from different regions.) Either way, Ari gives me the creeps, and I’m pretty sure that when he and Robert have sexy time, whips, chains, and ball gags are involved.
Fun fact: That’s where the pink triangle came from, the Nazis.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_triangle
******The More You Know!
I must have missed when Robert said Ari was Finnish, I guess I was too busy tipping my Franzia box and doing the little shake to get the last of my chablis out…
All their furniture looked like it came straight from Home Goods..
I’ve decided I’m going to work tomorrow and just snap at people “Excuse me, EXcuse me, I am the boss!” I’ll let you guys know how it turns out.
@Crankyguy, yeah this was stale to me years ago. They hate/argue/yell with Gordon. Gordon befriends some of the staff (like how he went to the girls room “he yelled at me!” boohoo I thought they were used to that. The cooks cant cook, but suddenly in the second half he waves the Magic Wand. Everyone loves everyone and great times for all. And that bar scene was the best, so these pompous stuck-ups as they are hated in the community show up at a rival bar, are not thrown out on their ass mind you, but cheered and applauded when their sorry asses (as they were thought of before this episode) are requested the honor to partake of $45 lunches by the gods. Yeah I sure would be dying to go and save those gay snobby Nazi-like pricks from going heads up, um yeah. This will be my last episode, like Masterchef, and HK is worth some laughs but this is just too dumb.
Featherhead-that’s a classic-although it may get you locked up. Suburbia-I’m sticking with Hitler youth. Whips and ball gags. Ari fairly screams “where’s my riding crop?” and I can can hear his heels clicking -but they’re Dorothy’s ruby slippers,now,aren’t they? That’s why he has to keep saying he’s the boss. That’s why small men everywhere have to make fists at defenseless people. And that’s how I know Hitler was a self-loathing gay,as was Sadam H.Just like regular gays and Finns are usually nice people, ones who live in their own “Disturbia”
-aren’t.
Pope-The only thing I can think of is that the RV has better sound proofing and the 2 boy wonders are “noisy.” Imagine all the “I’m the boss.” “No.I’m the boss.” shouting and screaming. It could scare the guests. But seriously-that thing was ugly. It made the mansion look like a trailor park.
I was surprised to hear that Ari was “Finnish” too. Perhaps we all misunderstood and what Robert really said was that Ari was “finished” with being a bug-up-his-ass innkeeper and was really trying to shake his Hitler Youth heritage?
That’s exactly what I thought he said….Ari was finished……
Chickenlips-Aha!-Finished! that makes sense! Because I’ve only once met anyone in Europe where I knew in the 1st 3 minutes,if they had their hands on the switch,I’d be one baked Jew. And it wasn’t even me-it was my husband and mongrel daughter and the way she cringed when her son almost touched her. That’s not snobbery people. It’s race hatred. Pedigree. Indians do it when they see an untouchable. My husband does it when he sees a leper. To Ari,we’re all lepers.
Aha! Finished! Except that finished doesn’t make nearly as much sense as Finnish and that he didn’t say “finished.”
I’m actually pretty sure it was “Finnish.” On http://www.juniperhillinn.com, they mention Ari being from Finland and having a traditional Finnish Christmas.
Finnish or finished would make sense though.
PopePhil-was it said in episode 1 or 2? I don’t want to re-watch both-ugh.
@KartofflMuter: First, I always want to call you “potato mom” because it makes me smile. Yes, I’m weird. I’m pretty sure the “Finnish/finished” thing was said in part 2. I rewatched the first part last night to finish the recap and didn’t hear it.
I’m pretty sure it was episode 2. I just rewatched them both with MisterBint today, and I couldn’t tell if he said “Finnish” or “finished” either, but I think it was Finnish. Ari’s physical stature and insanely blue eyes do speak to a Nordic background, although I’m still sticking with the whole Hitler Youth thing. Dude is stone. cold.
MisterBint and I were discussing the whole dynamics of Ari & Robert’s sexual relationship (don’t judge) when MisterBint said, “I know how they met. Ari spied Robert across a crowded room, came over to him, looked him straight in the eye, and said, ‘I vill take you as my lovah. I am the boss!” I think he’s on to something there….
Popephilly-Smiles are good. I sometimes think of myself as Alu Dum (pun intended) Alu-is potato in Hindi and Dum is a cooking method-and my husband’s favorite-or one-he loves potatoes. Which reminds me of my first night as a real wife after driver 2000 to our new apt,falling asleep discussing-food? dal of all things. Lentils.-pronounced like ” doll’. And as we drifted off-one of us said-”dal and boring.” 40 years of pun and games.
Thanks -I will watch-# 2 again. The number seems appropriate.
(Why did I think all this while you were of the masculine gender?)
I lived in Philly for a while-Love Pa. My brother-in-law’s mother lived there. Her husband had a semi- famous
newstand on the corner in Philly. The Mummer’s Parade is the best parade I ever saw except for the Milwaukee. Parade with the Clydesdale Horses. in August. My brother plays in that one. Philly probably means you like cream cheese,or horses.
@KartofflMuter: I can take or leave cream cheese. However, I do love cheesesteaks (provolone-whiz-with), Yuengling, and scrapple!
A relationship built on a love of puns is probably the best kind. 
Robert said Ari was very Finnish and then called him emotionally constipated. As for Ari’s cold demeanor well Finland is next to the mother of all Eastern Europe countries Russia.
Maybe she just thought he was fishy?