Minicap: MasterChef

Last night on Masterchef…well, I’ll just go and spoil it for you. Someone got eliminated. Holy crap!!!

Alright, alright…so we started off with our BIGGEST MYSTERY BOX CHALLENGE EVER!!! It’s a little deceptive, because WHAT’S IN THE FUCKIN’ BOX was a tank full of lobsters. Granted, they were some big fucking lobsters, but still…it was a tank. Anyways, the contestants have to grab their own lobsters out of the tank, and then get 75 minutes to prepare a stunning lobster dish! Born Again Christian and Cammy are back to hating each other after a couple of episodes off. Also, Christian continues to become a bigger and bigger dickhole. So they all get to cook these glorious lobsters, and as always, the top 3 dishes are tasted. Christian isn’t in the top 3, and Cammy is, so when the judges are reviewing Cammy’s dish, he starts tasting his food and plainly acting disinterested. Bastage earned himself a lot of favor in my book by calling Christian out on being a bitch.

The contestant who won the mystery box challenge gets the huge advantage of picking the ingredient for the elimination test. The theme of this test is aphrodisiacs, and I’m going to save all my jokes for the actual recap. However, I will say that after eating 10 dishes filled with aphrodisiacs, if this crap actually works at all (science is still somewhat out on that, after all), our brave judges probably made a beeline for the nearest brothel. So, the winner of the Box also has another advantage. She is given the choice of taking a glass of champagne up to the gallery and watching…but because they’re cooking with $500 truffles, she’s given the opportunity to risk elimination to stay and cook. She chooses to stay and cook. Does it bite her in the ass? Is she into that kind of thing? Come back and find out!