Minicap: MasterChef

Last night, MasterChef returned!!! After years of waiting, the gang is back! Ok, months, fine. But it was a lot of months! For those of you who don’t remember the gang…well…we’ve got Gordon Ramsay, as you all had to know if you’re watching the show. Alongside Gordie, Bastage and Teddy Graham return as well. I think we established the judge’s roles last time around, but here’s your refresher…Gordie is the Michael Bluth of the group. He’s the one sane one that holds the crazy opposites in his judge-family together. Bastage, as the name implies, is the villain, and Teddy Graham is the loveably overstuffed judge in the Prada glasses.

So, after the absurdly long and dramatic intro montage, our three judges come out and greet the crowd, and greet us…and recite the same masturbatory lines they sprayed on us last year during their introduction. Oh well, I guess with it being a reality show, they don’t really invest much in writers.

Just like the intro-writers lack originality, most of the contestants appear to have watched last season, and employ many of the same begging strategies. Many of them have gone with Tebow’s patented crying and making sure the judge is fully aware that he’ll “bring it” technique. There were also takes on the crying and begging technique, but no attempted “indignant disbelief.” But based on the “tomorrow night on” bit, that’s coming soon.

Well, what did we learn? According to the judges, this crop of apron-winners pisses on last year’s, Bastage is still a bastard, TG is still adorably nice AND cuddly, Ramsay is still on speed, and MasterChef LOOOOOOVES stereotypes and promoting them.

I love that this show is back. Stay tuned for the real deal, in just a couple of days!