MiniCap: Millionaire Matchmaker

Recaps

By SexyPanda | Wednesday, November 2, 2011 | 8:29 am | 4 Comments
Tagged: , , ,
Posted in: Millionaire Matchmaker, MiniCaps, Recaps

cobra kai millionaire matchmakerOh hai.

Y’all remember that Bravo is still airing new episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker, don’t you?  I almost didn’t. It’s changed nights a few times, doubled up some weeks, and went without other weeks. Apparently it’s back, and apparently Tuesday is its new night.  So, here’s our teeny tiny minicap.  (I’m not a fan of large minicaps.)

It’s nerd night again, but it’s also “23-year-old trust fund kid who’s already doing fine with the ladies” night.  Which is weird.  He looks a lot like the blonde jerk from Karate Kid, so boyfriend and I make Cobra Kai jokes all night.  The other guy is painted to be a total nerd who’s leading with computer programming when trying to talk to girls, but that part isn’t really true. He’s fine, he’s just a ginger.

One of the guys takes his date to go work out and get sweaty, which you know pisses me off.  The other one fails at making a proper move on his lady during their date. I’m sure you can figure out who’s who.  But I’ll still spell it out for you in the full recap, due up later this week.

In the meantime, check out my previous Millionaire Matchmaker recaps.  The last episode was rather boring (http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/millionaire-matchmaker-recap-cruz-on-by/), so I also included the second coming of Ayinde (http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/millionaire-matchmaker-recap-ayinde-now-sucks/).  See you soon!

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About

Time for an update! I used to be a tall, athletic editor who lived on the East coast. Oh, I still am, only now I've gained back all the weight I lost, which changes my life-tone quite a bit. Now that I'm married, I have a lot less time to watch Bravo and Food network. We usually end up watching Big Bang Theory reruns ("all of my friends, all of my friends, all of my friends") or Wipeout. Or WWE Raw. Wow. How life has changed!  Join me as we chat about my breast friend Patti Stanger and her love minions. Or maybe we'll talk about art during Work of Art. Whatever we're watching, don't be shy--tell me what you think!

4 Comments

  1. 1
    kthxbai
    Posted November 2, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    While we’re waiting for the recap, can somebody tell me why Patti hates redheads?

    Did one break her heart or attack her as a child or what?

    She was just plain mean to that one girl this week. It’s weird in a somewhere between creepy and racist way.

  2. 2
    SexyPanda
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 5:40 am

    I think she must’ve been mauled by one as a child.

    She answered this last year during one of the Watch What Happens Live! shows. It was something about how only a small subset of people find redheads attractive, and they’re usually British, so she doesn’t bother with trying to recruit them since they’ll never get picked. It’s all bullshit to me. She never accounts for personal preference, only tries to satisfy some basic collective rule of attraction. Oh well, sucks for her!

    Signed,
    A redhead ;)

  3. 3
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 6:39 am

    Yeah, Patti teased a ginger with a cookie in kindegarten, and the other kid bit her in the face, and she required 37 stitches. You can see how well THAT turned out. Redheads are hotter than Carolina asphalt, and Patti is ugly both inside and out. ‘Nuff said.

    Oh, man, is the workout date played out. I bet they did the thing where the date shows up dressed for a slutty night out, and they spring the work out on her, right? The producers LUV that one. Over, and over, and over again.

  4. 4
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted November 3, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    I really need to do something better with my time than watch this thing–like take up self-mutilation. Glass-eating, maybe? Ms. Stanker is a repulsive, moronic cretin who doesn’t know what she’s talking about most of the time. Last night more than proved it. If I were on the receiving end of one of her unnecessary insult rants, I’d be very tempted to tell her, “Let she who is without sin cast the first stone.” I mean, the potential dates for their usually douchey clients are lined up for inspection by a poseur hipster with 7″ of shellacked hair; a chick dressed in a tangle of tacky retro attire and a magenta roll of bangs glued to her forehead; and a Botox-infused idiot in frightfully short skirts/dresses and jewelry that looks like parrot toys from PetSmart. And she has the gall to reject red-headed people on the lame theory that nobody is attracted to them? I wish Lucille Ball’s ghost would float down to stomp on Patti’s lips like she did the grapes in that Italian “I Love Lucy” episode.

    And … did I hear correctly or did Stanker say that she dated a captain from the “Deadliest Catch”? Or was she plugging her new show called the “Deadliest Crotch”? If it’s true, then perhaps the captain hadn’t reached his crab(s) quota?

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