MiniCap of Mob Wives Chicago: Drunk Bitches Fighting

Recaps

By PlathAddict | Monday, June 11, 2012 | 5:52 am | 28 Comments
Tagged: , ,
Posted in: Mob Wives Chicago, Recaps

I had a very interesting moment of reflection last night while watching this show. For a minute, I honestly thought that I had outgrown being entertained by drunk bitches fighting each other. Then, it dawned on me that it was much more likely that these particular drunk bitches simply weren’t interesting regardless of whether or not they were fighting. I immediately began to feel better about myself. Because, obviously, I am still very much entertained by drunk bitches fighting.

Welcome to Mob Wives Chicago. And, after last night’s episode, I am completely clear on why everyone in Chicago hates this show and refuses to let them film in their restaurants. This was like watching a really bad SNL parody of the original Mob Wives. I went into this thinking, that no matter what, I am not going to compare this to the original. Because, honestly, no one will ever come close to the reality gold that is Renee. No one will ever instill as much glee in the phrase “alligator arms” as Drita. No one could ever be more coma inducing than Carla. And no one, absolutely no one could ever be as much fun to hate as Karen. Plus, no Big Ang.

So, I tried to separate this show from it’s predecessor. It was almost impossible because I suspect that Jennifer Graziano sat down and mapped out this show using the points of the original that seemed to grab the viewer’s attention the most. There’s the daddy’s girl, the daughter of a rat, the daughter of a hit man, and (for some reason) a chick with a fatty fetish. Seriously, chick was screaming about how much she likes fat asses.

There is a lot of swearing, a lot of posturing, and a lot of yelling. All of those things were enjoyable in the original because the women felt real. These women? Not so much. I’m hopeful though. I’m hoping that they were just trying to make a splash with the first episode and that the show will grow into it’s own as we get to know the women. Because there truly could be something interesting there if the editors allow the women to be themselves and not hard talking characters with nothing actually going for them.

So, to sum it up. Last night on Mob Wives Chicago, a bunch of rode hard hags bitched at and about each other. They talked about loving or hating their father’s. A chick screamed about liking fat asses. There was a lot of bleeping of foul language. And then, as though it were on a check list, bitches got really drunk and started fighting in a nice restaurant. These are all things that I would normally enjoy, and yet it all fell kind of flat. I think it was because they were all trying way too hard.

I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope that it becomes more Mob Wives and less Baseball Wives (we all know what disaster that one turned out to be) as the season progresses. Check back for the full recap in a few days.

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PlathAddict

If there were ever a situation where in which I had to choose between cheese and chocolate, cheese would win hands down. I spend my days writing blog posts for the multi-housing industry and my nights harshly judging people who appear on reality shows. If there is the odd weekend in which I am not working, or feeling smugly satisfied about my lack of my own reality show, I will build a blog for my friends. Then, I will spend the rest of my weekend conning other friends, family members, and general acquaintances to donate their talents to help out. I am shameless in my love of free stuff, blue humor, and great or even terrible fiction. I tell my friends that I watch reality shows to feel better about myself. In actuality, I watch them because I am vastly entertained by the things people will do to be famous. When Flipit asked me to join the TVGasm family, I was honored. When he said that I would be paid in Cheetos and M&M's, I was totally in.

28 Comments

  1. 1
    labowner
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Glad this is a mini-cap. I am reading Karen’s book right now and all I will say is not everyone can write a book, me included.

  2. 2
    KeKe
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Plath, I’m glad you’re recapping this crap because I don’t think I can watch it. It can’t compare to the original. They are trying waaaaayyyyy too hard! I’ll just read your funny recaps!
    BTW did I overlook your recap for Part 2 of the reunion or you didn’t do one?

  3. 3
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    True Blood premier made me miss this last night. I’ll have to watch tonight…glad to know that you’ll be recapping Plath!

  4. 4
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    I saw a preview a few weeks ago– have the repeat ready I think tomorrow. The crazy one ( yeah I know–lololol– which one??) whose Dad may or may not have been buried in the coffin reminds me of Cherie Oteri from SNL.

    Its worth a watch–this could be dreadful or so bads its awesome!!!

  5. 5
    Moli Moli
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    This was so forced, ugh.I noticed a funny looking Karen and a funny looking Drita, I have no idea why there was a fight. I have to ask do Italians normally have such curly hair? Fat-lovers’(I’m a chubby chaser myself) hair was really really curly and she had those curls as a child. Is it me or was she the one trying the hardest

  6. 6
    featherhead
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    @moli – most Italians have curly hair, I remember my cousin rolling hers up in beer cans in the late 70′s, before we had flat irons (she used to use a real iron too) I’m only half Italian so I didn’t have those problems.

  7. 7
    Moli Moli
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    Ah flat irons the only invention that equals to the greatness of conditioner. But honorable mention must go to gel and holding spray.

  8. 8
    labowner
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Does Jennifer know these women well enough to manipulate the story line like she did with Drita & Karen?

  9. 9
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    @moli, yea..that girl had poodle curls. Mostly I see that hair texture with amongst biracial people and mixed-race Latinos. A lot of my Italian friends have Teresa and Kathy type curls, which are a bit looser, less corkscrew-y. (yes, that’s a word, lol)

    These bitches look rough! Woof woof! Damn…except for the one that looks like Lauri for RHOC, they all need a microdermabrasion rescue kit. Did you see the close-up of Chubby Chaser’s skin while she was applying makeup? Dayum! Looked like the pictures NASA circulated of the moon’s surface. I, too, can plant a flag in those craters. (Cameramen are a cruel lot..never get on their bad side, lol.)

    I also agree that the ladies tried to get too dramatic, too soon. The reality TV formula seems to now be, start a conflict in the first episode and drag it out all season. Rehash, rehash, apologize, then go back on your word, only to rehash and fight at the reunion. I would’ve much preferred to see them start light-hearted and happy for a few eps before shit gets real. At least it’s easier for me to pick a side that way. Now, they all look like hysterical harpies. It’s a sad day when the most sympathetic girl in the bunch is the tacky stripper in lucite heels.

  10. 10
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Rodel didn’t set the DVR for this.

    “You low like muthableeping bleep bleep bleeper that bleeps muthableeping floor flushing bleepy bleeper gawdbleepit you bleeping BLEEP!”
    “How hard is it to set a DVR?”
    “Set the bleeping DVR!!”

    It was hawwibul…

  11. 11
    Moli Moli
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    I didn’t want to get into those fuuuuugly women. Damn they had work done, WTH. They need sand blasters to remove all that leathery skin. Is something wrong with the water in Chicago? @sarcasatire, her hair looked very bi-racial to me. I didn’t know m(any) Italians growing up so I don’t know their unstraightened hair type. I’m questioning why she was EXTRA with her Italianess.

  12. 12
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    @Moli, yea, I immediately thought biracial, too, based on her hair texture. They never mentioned her mom and I can’t find info of her mom anywhere, so who knows? Plus, it good be a granparent or what not. Whether Chubby Chaser admits to it or even knows of it, I’m sure if she shook her family tree hard enough, plenty of secrets will come falling out. lol

  13. 13
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    *could be a grandparent* (I can’t even blame autocorrect with that one, lol)

  14. 14
    Chicken Lips
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    Question – was last night’s episode the same one that was on after part 2 of the Mob Wives reunion? My DVR didn’t tape and the guide document reads like the exact same episode.

  15. 15
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Chicken Lips, yes that was the same episode…I am just not sure about this one…If I don’t watch, I know I will read the recaps… :)

  16. 16
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    @labowner, you have to let me know how Mob Daughter is. I can’t bring myself to buy it and it’s not in my local library yet.

    @KeKe I did a live tweet of part 2 of that reunion, so I didn’t write a recap for it. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought they were trying way too hard.

    @hot cafe, I may be confused about the women. I was thinking that the crazy one was the stripper. She seemed very unbalanced to me. Unless we are talking about the same one.

    @Moli, I know, right? They totally looked like caricatures. And, there is nothing wrong with a man that has some extra cushion. It was just really off putting to hear some chick yelling about how much she loves fat assed guys.

    @sarcasatire, I was surprised to find out how young the women on the original show were during their first season. These women look positively haggard in comparison. I know “the life” is hard, but damn. You would think they could afford a facial and some moisturizer along the way.

    @sheesh, HAHAHAHAHAHA! Awesome.

  17. 17
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    @chickenlips and @thisbuggs4u, I thought they were only showing a sneak peak at the episode after the reunion. I didn’t realize it was the entire episode. So, I didn’t watch it. I could have been done with this recap a lot sooner had I known.

  18. 18
    Chicken Lips
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    @PlathAddict and @thisbuggs4u – Thanks! I couldn’t tell if it was designed to be the same episode or if they were just unoriginal enough to piss and moan about the exact same crap week after week. =)

    Well, they will piss and moan about the exact same crap, but they will probably change locations every now and then. Hell, even Ramona and Karen hit the Poconos to piss and moan about Drita!

  19. 19
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted June 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    The Housewives go to South Africa, the Mob Wives go to the Poconos. I’m guessing being in ‘the life’ aint all it’s cracked up to be.

  20. 20
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 5:53 am

    Loved loved loved your minicap, Plath!! I was so looking forward to this. Ever since I was dragged up to the north woods I’ve missed my hometown. Especially the accents. And the bombings. And….

    Well, this show doesn’t seem to deliver anything beyond a wives wannabe rehash. Waaahhhhhh

    I will faithfully read your funnycaps, though. Yayayay!

  21. 21
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 10:59 am

    @Moli and Sarcasty– am rofl– who remembers that great line from Goodfellas courtesy of young bride Karen Hill? “They had bad skin and wore too much makeup”.

    Lets look on the brightside kids– this was filmed during a Chicaaaggggggggoooo winter–lots of snow. It should help us keep cool during the summer swelter. And raising had– I used to iron my hair too waay back when. Maybe Leah has a perm or has the tiny spoolie rollers.– Jeebus am I dating myself or what ?? rofl
    OK– one more–does anyone remember Quisp and Quake cereals or Danish Go Rounds—oval shaped Pop-Tarts

  22. 22
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Oh stop it HotC! You’ll out all of us. I had one little almost wavy patch in the back of my long hair that Mother had to iron out. I was so glad when flat irons made for hair came out.

  23. 23
    fancyface
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    The show? Eh. I couldn’t get into it that much because I kept asking myself wtf I was watching & why. When I didn’t answer myself, I knew there wasn’t much chance of this making it into my rotation, but I will give it another shot even if it’s only to try to figure out wtf that fight was about. Because seriously…I have no idea. ‘let’s go together, I got your back, that bitch has SOME nerve to call you a whore, she betta watch herself’ cut to a few drinks later and they’re beating the hell out of each other. SERIOUSLY! WTF?!?

    And forgive my ignorance, but why in the hell would the FBI confiscate a DEAD body? What was the purpose? Were they hoping to find a mob playbook in hintestines during the autopsy? Why take a body? If they were questioning how he died, wouldn’t they just perform their own autopsy & then release Jim back to his family? This make no sense. Is she lying about what really happened? I NEED TA KNOW!

  24. 24
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    I think the chubbychaser is hilarious!
    “I would be there with BELLS ON”
    Oh I am sooooo watching this.
    I think Nora is slightly touched in the head…okay she’s nucking futs!

  25. 25
    labowner
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    Plath, don’t go down the path of the book. Karen has had one majorly fucked up life and is in desperate need for lots of therapy. It is a difficult read as lots of things were left on the table (I had a lot of “okay ands” going on) and it sort of reads like a tv show where they retell the same thing before and after the commercials. I understand why she was so upset with Drita and I understand why Drita doesn’t get why she was so upset. I do say good on her for getting back up over and over and hustle to make an honest living.

  26. 26
    Yvonne
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    Okay has anybody read about how the blonde Renee is a fake ! Apparently she’s just pretending that she was close to her uncle to get on this show, she seems phony but i don’t know the whole story.

  27. 27
    wow
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    No way do I believe they did any sort of psych evaluation that Nora was able to pass, she seems legitimately out of her mind. I kind of love her already!

  28. 28
    PlathAddict PlathAddict
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    @sarcasatire “The Housewives go to South Africa, the Mob Wives go to the Poconos.” You made me laugh for several long minutes at work. So, I couldn’t tell anyone what I was laughing at and now I think they are worried about me.
    @snowshoecat, you are so sweet. Thank you!
    @hotC, I PROMISE I did not steal a joke from you. But, the full recap definitely has a call back to Goodfellas. This is the first time I’ve had a chance to check you guys’ comments. And, when I saw your’s, I thought you were reading my diary. Are you reading my diary? Because, I need ta know!
    @fancyface, while I think there are some interesting histories happening, I do agree with you. The fight came out of nowhere. I kept thinking that maybe everything felt really tense because it was so obvious how drunk some of the chicks were, but at the same time, I could never figure out why they were mad enough to come to blows in the first place.
    @sheesh, Yes to everything you said.

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