MiniCap (Part 1): 16 and Pregnant

Mackenzie is starting her junior year of high school in Miami, Oklahoma (pronounced “Miamuh”). She’s a competitive cheerleader and skilled gymnast. In her personal life, she and rodeo clown bronc’ rider Josh stuck the dangerous stunt known as unprotected sex, and guess what happened.

Oh, like I was supposed to take The Pill and get fat?

Josh has had a couple of concussions from his bull- and horse-riding, and the danger of these endeavors is a contentious point between him and Mackenzie. Trouble is, that’s how he makes money, and it’s kind of his life’s goal. He wears a very stupid-looking white baseball hat cocked at an odd angle that seems like it would need bobbi pins to stay on. He even keeps it on under his sterile shower cap thing at the hospital, but I’m jumping ahead.

At press time, it is unknown whether the fella on the right would’ve been better at babydaddying.

During the summer, Mackie keeps going to her tumbling classes, even though she can really only watch and occasionally pop a vertical splits with her foot in her hand to show she’s still flexible. Her family is pretty supportive, though still getting used to her pregnancy at 20-some weeks. Her sisters caution her against naming the baby something like Cowbell or Buckshot (Doeshot if it’s a girl), because, “It’s a person!” She and Josh continue to have no money, and she has no luck getting a job over the phone, especially when she clues them in to her current condition. She and her dad collect cans and turn them in for cash.

Then Josh’s pickup gets hit by a semi and his neck gets messed up! I swear you can’t make this stuff up. Well, you probably can, but it’s still nuts when it happens IRL. Don’t worry, I won’t accuse MTV of staging that one. So he’s not gonna be bronc’ riding for awhile. He’s also not gonna be super supportive of her legitimate worries that they’re having a baby they can’t support, ‘cause he’s worried he might have to get surgery and it might paralyze him. Also, giant neck brace.

At 3:30 am on what appears to be right after the first day of her junior year, Mackenzie starts having contractions, and the hospital admits her. She needs a C-section due to the size of her baby, and that is one healthy-sized baby. He’s more of a walnut than a peanut… maybe a coconut. He wakes up every two to three hours, as babies do, and she and Josh stumble through the first few nights with him. She goes back to school six weeks later while he watches the baby, and she also tries to tumble without a lot of luck.

Josh still wants to bronc’ ride, but with his injury it’s even more dangerous. Mackenzie pressures him to give it up, and he eventually relents, for the camera at least. He doesn’t end up having any surgery during the time the show is being filmed. He’s a bit of a blockhead, but his actions with the baby so far are pretty respect-worthy, and I think hope these crazy kids just might make it work. They’d be excellent on Teen Mom 3, if MTV is still doing one of those.

Little Gannon will not be allowed to bronc’ ride, but this is how he’d look if he did.