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Remember when you were little and went to a carnival, or some little amusement park nearby? And how you ate a hot dog with mustard and ketchup and maybe relish, and a funnel cake, and some waffle fries, and a slice of pizza and some cotton candy and a chocolate-covered Mickey Mouse ice cream pop? And in between eating all that food you rode the Tilt-a-Whirl and the rollercoaster and whatever other sick inducing rides they had? Individually it was all great and you wanted to do it again but the cumulative effect left you barfing and crying?
That’s kind of how this episode made me feel. Cute baby, and emotional Reese, and Carter gets her very own storyline, and shoot outs, and a bar fight, and Finch and Reese act like a married couple, and baby in peril, and Reese drives a big truck, and Finch gets ID’d in an embarrassing police sketch, but Finch also gets to act squirrelly when a Duane Read check out girl thinks he’s buying all the baby stuff for his “first” child with Carter, and Fusco, and Elias, and Szymanski, and even a shout out to Linda Cardellini. It was all too much.
So what actually happened? Carter steps out of her jurisdiction to follow up on an organized crime case when Moretti gets released from prison and Reese magically shows up 50 miles from the city with no rental car he needs to return so he can justify why we’re following this story. He hops in Carter’s car so she can just sally on up to Moretti’s car and “swear to God” offer him NYPD protection because that’s how they do it.
Meanwhile, Finch has a new number that was just issued two months earlier and with Reese out of the city he follows up and finds out the number, Leila Smith, is a safe haven baby but that guy who got his throat slit on Boardwalk Empire (which one?) is loitering outside the clinic where she’s staying, and he’s such a hatchet-face that he’s clearly up to no good, so Finch decides the only way to save this number is to kidnap her.
Butch and Sundance Reese and Carter. They stumble upon an ambush where Moretti’s supposed to be kidnapped ruining Elias’ plans (it’s not a surprise) and scuttling Moretti off to the safe house, where luckily, the show remembered they introduced Szymanski in the last Elias episode so at least Carter’s working ancillarily with the correct department instead of being a lone gunman.
Reese finally gets his alone time with the new number so all the fangirls can fawn over how cute he is with her and what a good dad he’ll be if he’d just find the right girl and settle down. So what if he’s a batshit crazy killing machine with anger issues. Ostensibly they’re supposed to find out why someone would want to harm a six-month-old baby but the writers didn’t give a rat’s ass about this storyline so I don’t either. It was all just a ruse to put a baby in the library. Although, thanks for suggesting that the thugs might be Croatian (or Albanian) and that the main perpetrator was a woman named Nikola because it’s not like my grandfather was a Croatian man named Nikola or anything and I’m not paranoid or narcissistic enough to take it as a SHOUT OUT!
At least Fusco gets to do his Where’s Bellini? walk through a couple of scenes and follows Carter around because she’s the worst liar, ever, and finds out she’s holding out more than just her work with Reese and Finch from him, her actual partner she’s supposed to work with on her official police business. Which, considering how much he’s been left in the cold by Reese, and is back in with HR because of the AIB murder Reese made him take the fall for, could spell more trouble for her because Fusco may be loyal but he’s not stupid, and he has no reason to remain loyal to Reese. Dare to dream, vallegirl, but it would probably just end with Fusco getting killed and Carter looking gassy over it while Reese gets glassy-eyed behind a tree.
Sadly, Enrico Colantoni and Michael McGlone came back only to play glorified day players as Elias managed to be creepily cheery in a couple of scenes and Szymanski played
the ethnic sidekick who gets shot Mr. Exposition.
Full recap in a few days. (But it won’t be pretty.) Until then, you can catch up on the last recap here.
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