Welcome back! It’s been two long weeks between new episodes and it looks like the producers are trying out a new format: blow smoke up Oscar-Nominated© Taraji P. Henson’s ass for an hour. I don’t know if it works. At least they switched up Caviezel’s wardrobe, as well, and decided leather would be a good look to distract us from all the crap they were slinging. Mission accomplished, producers.
As for the episode, it would seem that Detective Carter, in addition to being a lousy cop who stalks tall, dark, handsome men in expensive suits, can’t close a case to save her life, and needs an angry little fireplug like Fusco to explain the most basic aspects of a crime scene to her, also bullies domestic violence victims, endangers bodega owners, neglects her 14-year-old son, was the most hilariously over the top military interrogator, and made the brilliant decision to eschew being an attorney in favor of being a homicide cop. Because she just cares that much, y’all. We are supposed to be in awe of how awesome her awesomeness is because she is awesome. You might not have picked that up because they were subtle with it.
Of course, all this awesomeness comes with a price and she’s this week’s number. Since she’s a one-woman wrecking crew who generally leaves witnesses and CI’s in more danger after they’ve talked to her, she’s pinged the radar of a few men, including Elias, all of whom want her dead. Finch obviously reads tumblr in between whispering sweet nothings in Reese’s ear and knows that Carter’s not particularly popular with the fangirls so he’d rather his favorite little male super model not over identify since she’s stalking him, but too late. Reese has decided that she’s just too precious to let die. But how can we canonize her while she’s still alive?
So he chooses the most covert way to trail her. By buying a Ducati and suiting up in motorcycle leather, because that never attracts attention. He swans around behind her making sure she doesn’t wander into traffic or get run over by a truck or catch a stray bullet, but mostly he walks around shooting things up and stealing sweet, classic GTO’s with iridescent paint jobs while wearing leather to make the utter nonsense of Carter’s back, and present, story go down a little smoother.
They run around the city for about 40 minutes before Reese finally calls her and tells her she in danger, girl. She sasses him and maybe he really is Jesus because he’s across the street with a clear shot and decides not to take it. But does she listen to him? Is my nine episode nightmare over? Can I happily watch two dour but nattily dressed men make questionable life choices and invade privacy all in the name of easing their guilty consciences and keeping New York a little safer without having to watch a well-intentioned but massively incompetent homicide detective bring the action to a screeching halt? Or will I just have to learn to deal with my irrational disdain?
All the answers will be in the full recap in a few days. Until then, you can catch up on the last recap here.
To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter or like our Facebook page! You can post your favorite lines right back at us. Thanks for being here!
To follow my personal tweets, click here. Or you can check me out on tumblr.