Last week was Part One of the Real Housewives of New York trip to St. Barths. Everyone had a grrreat time, especially LuAnn. Who knew cheating, I mean, chatting with a group of old Italian friends could feel so goooooood?
This week’s episode opens with an un-party at the cougar den. Many people were invited, but only Lu’s friend, Cat, and Tomas, the Johnny Depp look-alike, show up. Ramona Grigio has been hearing some gossip about Lu and Tomas, so she plays a game of Cat and Mouse with the sexy, young French man.
Mrrroww!
Tomas is a professional playboy. So skilled, in fact, he suggests a seven-way. Ooh la la! Très magnifique!
Some of the ladies are getting drunk and dancing to win the “greasy prize” of Tomas. Sonja wins a romp! There was quite a commotion coming from the room, and we learn Sonja has been earning those bruises the buggery way.
Madam Palindrome and Reid are en route to St. Barths. Aviva has a playlist that helps her deal with her fear of flying in small planes with midget, clown wrestler pilots. She’s expecting a welcome party and red carpet when she arrives. I don’t think she’s seen this show.
Who put “Free Bird” on my playlist?
Sonja and Ramona are disappointed that Reid will be staying in the cougar den, so they check out possible alternate arrangements. Just in case they get called white trash or something.
When Aviva and Reid arrive at the villa, Sonja and Ramona happen to be topless in the pool. They thank Albatross for depositing his wife, but now he needs to kick rocks. This leads to some screaming back and forth until Aviva calls Sonja and Ramona white trash. Awww, that’s not nice. What about something a little nicer, like alcoholically whorelicious hookers?
But I just got here.
Aviva is expecting everyone to bow down to Albatross and drool all over him, thanking him profusely for bringing her to join them, but that isn’t going to happen. Unfortunately, Carole gets pulled into the drama and misses seeing her boyfriend’s rehearsal. Aviva then gives Carole an ultimatum that someone needs to go–the white trash or Albatross and the phobic. So what’s it going to be, Princess Carole?
Did I just finish bottle 7 or 8? Let’s see…1, 2, 4, 6, 18, 23, 7, 3, 2….
While getting ready for dinner, Sonja and Ramona plan to make things right by hugging Aviva, the same plan that worked with Kelly on Scary Island. Ramona and Sonja decide to change into matching dresses after seeing Heather’s glittery dress. Sparkle trashy babies!
Dinner is a wee bit uncomfortable. Sonja and Ramona are hurt by Aviva’s venom, while Aviva is pissed by their ungraciousness. The temps are starting to rise.
If you like it, spread it!:
60 Comments
In addition to the prosthesis on her leg, Aviva also has a prosthesis up her ass.
Get over it lady.
These broads are unreal! Didn’t they read Cuntess De Les Sucks book of ettitwat? Can’t wait for the full recap. Bon arrivederci.
If she wants to talk about trash, Aviva gives the blonde bimbo twins a run for their money. All this time we thought she was a mind-numbingly boring neurotic, but Aviva proved she is a nasty, venomous, egotistical, lecture-happy, wrinkle-mouthed, self-important, delusional, attention whore of an old skeleton bag of bones.
Oh, I don’t like Aviva much.
Dang, did you notice Sonja walking funny, bwahahah!
This episode was so excellent that I couldn’t stop watching the disaster it turned out to be. I wonder why Sonja was blushing when Madam Palindrome’s dad was so frisky, but her third input is available to any Johnny Depp/Ozzy from Survivor mashup.
I do love Aviva’s level of condescension when she’s angry and frustrated with the rest of the cast. She’s my favorite replacement housewife of all time, considering she’s the genesis of the two best lines of the season.
While this hasn’t made up for the boring first half of the season, the editors have really ramped the drama for this trip. Keep up the good work, editors!
I miss A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila! I wish they’d do a 3rd season.
Before anybody gets mad, I’m NOT saying Tila or anybody else ever acted as near trashy as the NY Housewives.
Just the pool noodles got me to feeling nostalgic.
LOL @ “i don’t think she’s seen this show”….good stuff bsl, good stuff
oops near as trashy. I still haven’t been able to figure out where the edit button is.
Nice Sparkle Pony ref BSL! Stay Golden!
So the girls were supposed to bow down and kiss Reid’s feet because he brought you down to St. Barths?
Especially Sonja and Ramona who at the lunch when they were invited wanted a “girls” trip.
Man…that Aviva is all types of crazy.
Does anyone think Andy jumped back in to help edit this franchise because it became such a mess?
Aviva is a delusional and neurotic skinned rabid honey badger. It attacks whoever, whenever, and just because…I KNEW she would show her ass at some point! Her “childen without legs” screaming lecture was a prelude…I couldn’t watch the show yesterday, I felt so bad for Samonja.. They might be two middle aged drink-loving women, but they didn’t deserve all the sh.. Aviva gave them in the last episode. Or did they. Because obviously they
1)didn’t roll out a red carpet
2)didn’t throw a party celebrating royal arrival
3) didn’t kiss Aviva’s sweaty ass
4)didn’t give Reid a thankful blow job.
After watching trailers I thought that Samonja really did something to piss Aviva off. However, I feel that it was all Aviva’s fault. Ramona and Sonja were actually pretty good, especially during the dinner, when Assiva was trying to stir up even more shit.
I do feel sorry for Assiva’s husband. I guess whe went for a “trophy factor” in her, without realizing what a wreck of a human being she is. She effing won’t take an elevator without him, for Christ’s sake. It is not her missing leg that makes her an invalide, it is her missing screws in her bleached out head!!! Reid seems like a sweet guy. Try again, Reid!Don’t waste your life on this pathetic and self-absorbed human being.
Go Ramona and Sonja! Get hold of an extra leg, and give Assiva a royal kick in her skinny ass.
I was actually hoping Assiva would be so “offended” she would have to board a small plane on the same day and fly the f…away. That would serve her right.
I just read Aviva’s blog. Even after she’s seen the episode she is still insist that Ramona and Sonja were wrong. While the rest of the ladies outside of Luann say that Aviva went wayyyyyy too far.
I thought it was annoying at the time, but NOW I get why Ramonster was so insistent Aviva get out of the pool in Miami- if she got that leg wet she would have made everyone carry her around on their shoulders instead, singing songs of praise. Ramonsters have notoriously weak shoulders.
I don’t get the pirate love. Men that slather on Gretchen Christine Boo-tay don’t do anything for me. I used to love me some Johnny Depp but that look is worn out even on him, much less on some scrawny gigalo.
And does SonJa really want the Cuntesses sloppy seconds? Ugh, whatever. I guess it won’t be the first time, what with Harry and all.
Oh mother mercy! Aviva is a pain in the ass and needs to be bitch slapped. I’ll do it. Lu is a lying ass skank. Sonja is Sonja, but she’s getting worse. Ramona always cracks me up. I felt sorry for Carole and Heather didn’t even get on my nerves. She was there, right? Ya, hmm. Weird
great recap!
It’s so great to have you back BSL
That was awesome!! The minicap and the show! Aviva doesn’t have a leg to stand on (pun intended)! A party? The red carpet? Worship Reid cause he brought Aviva on a plane? Bwwhaha! The ladies should have bought a sheet of gold stars to pin on Aviva’s chest. Hey dumbass – if that little plane crashed wouldn’t you be leaving your children with NO parents? Isn’t there a ferry she could have taken instead of a plane? Excuse me while I go watch this episode again..
Aviva was too stressed from the plane to be thinking rationally. She wanted to crawl into the arms of comfort once she arrived and instead was faced with — reality. She was already dreading facing the drunken cougs so she was ready for battle at the slightest offense. I’m torn with Aviva. Anyone who calls out Sonja and Ramona for being the classless acts they are, is ok in my book. Unfortunately, in this instance, I think she over-reacted. Pick a better battle Aviva and I’ll have your back.
But why are we losing the gem of the episode by talking about Aviva? Sonja taking it in the rear from Luann’s sloppy seconds? Holy Hole Batman.
@Featherhead, from what I could tell the ladies did say thank you. but what I could also tell was that Reid really wanted to get to his work and had NO desire to be involved in ANYTHING the ladies were doing.
Feather my parents flew on separate flights when we were kids. Does anyone do that anymore?
@Classy drunk – the ladies all greeted them and thanked Reid, but it wasn’t enough for Aviva. All poor Reid wanted to do was catch up on his work and steer clear of the naked drunks. I think he was a little embarrassed with Aviva’s meltdown.
@labowner, I’m not sure if people fly separately anymore, but if you’re all full of gloom and doom and statistics as Aviva is – I would think she would think of THE CHILDREN (lol)!
$onja has been taking notes from Lu ‘s Xmas party band, the Dumbelfucks or whatever their name was. Good thing Heather didn’t have a megaphone on her.
Of course Aviva over reacted, but have you ever seen anyone at any time shut Ramona up? Gotta give Av props for that even if it did take being 10x crazier than the Ramonster.
So nice of the girls to thank Reid AND call him an albatross in the same sentence. DeKlassay I tell you!
Oh, and I would never go near that pool after ole cum bucket’s been swishing around in there. Cooties!
@ Labowner…I know a few families that fly separate. FOR THE CHILDREN!
I think Aviva’s true colors are coming out. I can’t even begin to understand what it must be like to have been in such a traumatic accident as a child and I can believe there is residual anxiety.
HOWEVER, being that Aviva is AN ADULT, edumacated, wealthy, speaks ten languages, knows Braille and can tap out Morse code with her good foot I’d think she has probably been to a fair amount of therapy in her life to deal with said issues. Even if she can’t overcome them she can surely learn how to deal with them. Screaming at people probably isn’t on that list.
I’ve read several comments about a ferry that’s an alternative to the small plane. UM, could have dealt with the fear that way, huh? But, listening to music seems to have helped a bit. Lynard Skynard!!! HAHAHA! “American Pie” would’ve been good too!
She’s the one who needs to thank Reid. The others would have gone on with their vacay whether she was there or not. Oh, and why do they have a house in Miami if she doesn’t like to fly?
She may have been at the end of her rope with Ramonja or she may have just still been stressed. But, I think girlfriend needed some special pirate alone time with Reid to unwind more than she needed to be with the girls just then.
Yes, for the children some parents fly separate flights. I am surprised, (ok, not really) how much time these moms are away from their kids, some of these “ladies” have very young kids. When I go away from my kids it takes me days to get things ready for my departure.
Aviva was totally driving me crazy with how she wants the other women to bow down and kiss her hubby’s butt. Really, she thinks that she is that wonderful that she expects a party for her to get there, thank HER husband for delivering her, and be all high and mighty about the women wondering if having her husband there would change things. What a prima donna! He got HER there for a “vacation” while he works. She should be thanking him not the other women. What a wackadoo! Do slightly agree that $onja and Rowino are white trash with the countless not far behind.
QUITE FRANKLY AVIVA YOU ARE BAT SH*T CRAZY!!!!
When the C*ntess tossed Romana under the bus, all I could think was Bethany was right she is a complete snake. Aviva needs serious help. Being a victim makes her feel special. I hate people like that, get a good therapist and try and move the FUCK on with your life Aviva. There must be something wrong with her husband to put up with the cloying, clinging, neediness that’s Aviva. I would find it suffocating and disturbing to have some one not in diapers need me that much.
A house in Miami she has to fly to that is made of glass and 50 floors up. Her selective neuroses annoy the crap out of me. And I don’t have the same hatred of mixed company as Ramona but people who can’t go anywhere without their spouses/mates are pathetic and not fun to hang out with.
Aviva doesn’t want anyone to treat her differently, until they don’t fawn over her for overcoming a fear and then she demands recognition and praise. She must give phenomenal bjs for a seemingly nice guy like Reid to keep filling that hairless rodent’s love tank.
Can I just say that Reid does kinda look like an Albatross? It is what it is.
Why didn’t Aviva just take the stupid ferry that runs from st.marteen to st.barth’s?! Good god woman, put your swimming leg on and butch up.
I think you’re right that she is an extremely needy basket case.
One of the things that drives me crazy about these shows is that they are always yelling and talking over each other and no one ever gets a chance to explain themselves. Misunderstandings just keep building and getting bigger and more out of hand over stupid stuff.
Case in point. Tardy for the Party. Instead of getting all f*cking bent out of shape that Kim did her wrong on purpose and cop a major attitude did Nene ever try to talk logically to her and ask her why she excluded Nene? I really don’t remember but I do recall Nene calling her a dumb heifer. So, I doubt it.
These bitches don’t talk. They scream.
Could this show get any worse?
Sonja and the paid escort having sex through the “back door”? Does this woman ever consider that she has an impressionable young daughter at home who must live with her vulgar antics? If she is not flashing her “hoo ha” on the dining room table in front of Kelly, she is seen going into a bathroom to change her bloody tampon with a guy in tow.
And Ramona is a complete ass as well. Half dressed and perpetually tanked up, she seems to believe that what she and Sonja do is “cute”. It’s not.
Aviva may be a triple crowned pain in the ass but these two are just ridiculous. How far are they willing to go to make themselves viable? I’ve got the feeling they are willing to do just about anything it takes. Two old bags who need to grow up.
Why wouldn’t you put Free Bird on a play list?!?!?!
1. Aviva….if you were too scared to fly alone…bring a good lady friend with you as it was a girls trip. Ramona had a right to be miffed. Also…you aren’t the Queen of Upper East Side. Why were you expecting this royal welcome? You are also the last person to call anyone white trash considering your hornysaurus of a father.
2. Ramona….should have taken the high road and trying to get Tomas to spill the beans is only going to get you a payback from The Cuntess.
3. Sonja – Train wreck.
4. The Cuntess – You throw people under the bus so elegantly. Love you!
5. Heather – You should have left when you could.
6. Carole – Now you know why Heather left Ramona home when you all went to London. Holla!
“6. Carole – Now you know why Heather left Ramona home when you all went to London. Holla!”
Seems like everyone was having a good time until Aviva showed up.
The ladies say the same thing in most of their blogs. (except Luann)
I wonder how Aviva is with her children? Is she a totally overprotective mother because of what happened to her 40 years ago? And her throwing her law degree up in Ramonja’s faces, how the hell did she get to college? Was it online? Because who the hell held her hand during class? Even with the law degree would she ever be able to hold down a job? Your Honor, I cannot come to court today as I cannot take the elevator, and walls are painted red and Reid cannot get off of work to babysit me!!
@classy so true! Did you notice Carole calling LuAnn out for lying again? I think Ramona is a crazy drunk but at least you know where you stand with her. This last episode just reminded me why I hate LuAnn so much. Aviva has mental issues and needs to get back into therapy to help her cope better with her anxiety. If she wasn’t aware she had issues and wasnt rich with access to great medical care I would give her a pass. There are people who are in this country who have suffered serious trauma who would love the access and support she has. Christ she should visit a VA hospital and see real courage in the face off trauma.
Oops *of trauma
I don’t agree that with Ramona “you know where you stand”. Bogus.
The problem is that they never know where she stands since she is either “kissy face” one minute or driving the knife deep into someone’s back. Depends upon how “fueled up” she is at any given time.
The reason she does not get along with any of them is that at one time or another she has managed to take swipes at each in turn.
She went after Cindy, Alex, Bethenny, Jill, Kelly, LuAnn, Heather, her kids, and Aviva all while maintaining they were “friends”. Even Sonja is not immune.
Not that any of them deserve to be defended, but Ramona is a guttersnipe on her best days but filled to the gills on Pinot she is deadly as she crosses boundaries with her “Who me?” expressions.
@Katie don’t get me wrong Ramona is crazy but I would rather deal with her than LuAnn. If Ramona is going to stab me, I would see it coming because she would be yelling and screaming the whole time and she would want to put the knife right in my chest. She may tell people afterwards that I fell on the knife….
On the other hand if LuAnn wanted to stab you, you would never see if coming. She would give you a big euro trash hug with air kisses on both checks as she sticks a stiletto between your ribs. Luann would tell the police it must have been some Italians…..
Bothe awful but IMHO LuAnn is worse
@classy drunk -
Chartered plane crash, 6 or 7 died (including 3 band members).
Seriously @ clare #38! She needs a reality check with some dbl amputee war vets who saw their buddies get blown up. I’m sure they didn’t get a red carpet welcome home!
She’s a self absorbed harpy. She was talking to then like they were children. Frankly, Aviva, I’m disappointed!
@clare #38… Wow, I just snarfed coffee. Beside being freaking funny you are dead on accurate with who would knife you and how.
I have not watched this episode. If someone is bored and has time can you plesse explain the whole begging, party, red carpet demands?
Looking so forward to the full recap. Oh dear, it looks like Aviva has officially gone off the deep end. Look, Reed deserves a lap dance with a happy ending thrown in for committing himself to staying in the cougar looney bin, but let’s not get all “medal of honor/ticker tape parade” here, Aviva. If she was smart, she would have let the twat twins stew in their own juices. Inevitably, Ramona would have her pinot grigio mouth do her thinking for her and said something rude. Then go off on her. If you are worried about a tag team with Sonja, throw a dick her way and off she goes. Why don’t these women learn to fight right?
@Bubbles Thanks! I was so into my air guitar that I forgot about that.
Also, my husband is a vet. He had surgery at a VA Hospital this summer and due to complications he was admitted. I am not belittling Aviva’s injury or experience but she has it a hell of a lot better then our men and women who sacrificed their lives to save ours. I do not care if you are on the left, middle or right. Our Vets and active duty service men and women signed a paper that means that they are willing to die for us. If you have every spent time at a VA Hospital you would walk away with such respect.
Aviva needs to spend sometime among our Vets and appreciate how lucky she actually is.
This issue and the health of our retired and active military means a lot to me. Even my 12 year old son gets that. He spent a lot of time at the hospital with me this summer. He shooked the hand of so many Vet’s while looking them in their eyes and thanked them for their service. Without any promting from us.
Every American should to the same!
Stepping down now from soapbox.
I guess I was silly to express concern over a couple of episodes at Lady Morgan’s bruises!!!!!! mymymymymymy–
And yes ya’ll– Aviva’s true colors are coming out. I saw her face when she said “relentless”–and I think we all have a good idea now of the tactics she used on her parents to get things–and quite the curriculum vitae she spouted to the gals (and to us mere mortals on the other side of the tube). She likes the victim card and plays it alot–and will will turn it when it suits her.
@29 Ms Mia– my thoughts exactly–her Miami condo several floors up — and she is a real pain in the ass with her real estate dropping like Lu’s (she loves when we call that) name dropping. Its all about attention seeking–Aviva wants to be the center of attention.
I cannot wait to watch this episode again and again!!!!!!
Not excusing anyone of these nutbars– but is it possible that what sounded like “albatross” was actually a mashup of “Reid met Russ”? Only reason why I am tossing it out there (and probably b/c Palindrome got my Irish up with tossing out her degress etc) is that I dont think any of them (excpet Carole) would get the reference.
@ 38 Clare-I love you muchi-ness for the nod to the VA hospital– thank you —she does need a reality check.
@closetfan thank you to your husband and to you and your family for all of your sacrifices. I am so grateful to all of the service members and their families who give so much of themselves. Best wishes that your husband has a full and speedy recovery.
@ 47 Closet– sending prayers and best wishes for a complete recovery to Mr Closet. No doubt that your son showed alot of maturity and respect at the VA Hospital.
@classy drunk
If Aviva had never shown up, Ramona would have started something. She was already looking for another place tpo stay before Aviva arrived which means she was going to be her usual self when she did. Had Ramona not been there…Queen Aviva would have gotten the reception she was looking for…..
Thank you Clare and Hot Cawfee for your kind words.
Closet, get on that soapbox any time! Continued recovery for your hubby!
And who knew how freaky deaky Lady Morgan was? Bottoms up!
Ramona was looking into the options of other housing, but only because of the bug the Countess put in her ear about the dynamics of the trip changing. As Ramona said, if I wanted to be on vacation with guys, I would have gone with Mario. This was supposed to be a girls weekend. And her looking into other housing was going to insure that. Even if the girls weekend ended up being just her and Sonja.
You just know LuAnn put the bug in Aviva’s ear. The smug smirk on her face while Aviva was going off on Ramona and Sonja made me wish in the worst way that I had interactive TV because I would have reached into my screen and bitch slapped that smile right off her face. Then when Ramona was finally able to talk for 30 seconds, Lu tossed her right back under that Aviva bus. And did it with a lie. Carole’s blog clearly states that Lu was the one that brought up the whole dynamics of the trip changing once Aviva and Reid got there.
I was watching it while in bed. And I honest to God thought that I had fallen asleep and missed something. I couldn’t believe how that over educated bitch was ranting and it took me a while to figure it out. Still thought that I had missed something, but reading all these postings and the blogs, I guess I didn’t.
Everyone seemed to be having a good time before Aviva got there….they were all laughing and giggling by the pool.
Suggested songs for Aviva:
“Major Tom” David Bowie
“She’s Gone” Hall and Oats
“Edmond Fitzgerald” Gordon Lightfoot
Lu might be stirring things up because of the Producers. She needs this job and does not seem to have a business venture. If she can cause drama they will keep her (Like Tamra on OC)… Just thinking.
Isn’t the Paraolympics going on in London?? Maybe Aviva needs to attend instead of wallowing in self-pity.
Well I am off on a girls weekend (fits into the show’s theme). None of us went to Vassar so I don’t think there will be tantrums and name calling (must be a special course)
@ Classy 55, they were! I thought I remember even Ramona and Heather stating how well they were getting along and having fun. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Loved reading the mini and these comments. You all are freaking hilarious! I can not stand Aviva. Can not wait for the full recap and comments.
Good to see you Kdog!
@ Iona #52 I don’t think Ramona would’ve started something if Aviva hadn’t shown up. She would have shrugged her shoulders said, “That’s too bad,” and gone on partying as before.
However, I think Queen Aviva’s little balloon would deflate if she had arrived and Ramonja weren’t there for her to act superior to. I think she would’ve been disappointed.
I don’t know who said it above but I think you nailed it on the head. Aviva needs to be the center of attention. While she says she doesn’t want to get singled out for her leg I bet you dollars to donuts her parents told her it didn’t make her different, it made her special. She may be an incredibly spoiled woman who’s always used to getting her way and her parents may have started her down that path to make up for this unfortunate accident. But, I tell you, It ain’t looking too pretty right now. She’s turned into a shrieking harpy.
Well, this season has picked up. Hola! (Feck, I hate that so much). And how did everyone know that Sonja did the back door? Can you hear that action? Weird. Anyway, Fric and Frac could have handled the greeting a lot better and then made light of it later….wow, did that ever go down the shithole. Anyway, fun!
(And man, Luanne knows how to stir the shite).