Minicap: Real Housewives of New York City

54 Comments

1. 1
   classy drunk
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 4:42 am

   Ok so obviously the women don’t know that they are mic’d up ALL THE TIME. So I will give Sonja some leniency in regards to her period talk the other week. I can’t wait to see what the ladies blogs say this week.

   And yes Aviva a man’s presence does change the dynamic of the girls trip.

2. 2
   featherhead
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 4:43 am

   Coma Toast. Bwhahahaha!! So many juicy parts I can’t just pick one! Carole – I heard two men’s voices and one of them was Lu…. “I’m a Indian – Don’t fuck with me!” Heather’s grease spot left on the glass door… I’m dying over here! I cannot wait for the full recap and I don’t want to hear about no hurricane!!

3. 3
   Holyterror
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:14 am

   It’s now confirmed — these women can wreck anything.

4. 4
   Robin
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:22 am

   The only periods Sonja and LU are capable of are the ones at the end of their sentances. They need to stop pretending that they are young, flirty and fertile. It looks old on them.

   Robin

5. 5
   Deguy123
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:30 am

   Yeah I’m sorry but Lu’s man thing is set up! I mean they know they are are mic’d up and since Lu has been on this show for awhile, she knows exactly what they are doing. It’s still fun to watch!

   I swear to god I LOVE CAROLE, her comment last week “THIS JUST HAPPENED?? “(About a fight between the ladies happening so quickly) was so great! Also her “I’m always with you and your husbands” shows that she is the only one with any kind of common sense.

   I sort of agree with the ladies that Ried should have stayed somewhere else so it could be a girls weekend. I have no problem with him coming but at least stay in a hotel somewhere.

6. 6
   hot cawfee
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:36 am

   @ 2 Feather—- YES!!!! bbwwaahhaaaaa– and you just KNOW Ramona wasnt making a joke– I do love me a good malaprop and she is 2 for 2 (“I take the fifth”–bbwwwahhaaa).

   Damn– I dont know where to begin!!!!! Carole’s white boots that give her a pass on. All the oral sex talk– I never thought I would hear (and read via captioning) the words “went down on her” from Lady Morgan.

   Someone please tell me about her bruises by the way– its a little scary. And it looks larger than the prior episodes.

   LU– you dirty dog– shaking my head. I saw that on the prowl look you had going–and dont think I am fooled by a moment at your bouncy, fulled dressed “I am not hung-over nor am I guilty of anything/anyone”. Not buying it–I pulled that reverse-walk of shame on my folks in my young (AND SINGLE) days. I say we call that the Cat Walk of Guilt!!!!!!!

   BSL– be safe love!!!!!!!!!

7. 7
   hot cawfee
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 5:41 am

   OH– and did anyone else think that Lu (and you know she LOVES when we call that) sounded like the Swedish Chef when she was speaking French?????

8. 8
   NotwithoutmyTV
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:37 am

   The Cuntess should never speak French again. That language never did anything to her to deserve such treatment.

   (My wife is fluent. She said Lulu’s French was okay, but her accent was wretched.)

9. 9
   hot cawfee
   Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:41 am

   @ 8 Notwith– thank you– it was throwing me off– is her pronunciation maybe French Canadien????

10. 10
    Meggles
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:27 am

    In the episode that Carole invites the ladies to St. Barth’s she does NOT say that it is a girl’s trip. As a matter of fact, she stated that she was going to see Russ. She reiterated this in her blog. So, this idea that it was a GIRLS ONLY trip that Ramona et al. seem to have is off base.

11. 11
    Katie
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:34 am

    Ramona and Sonja are two of the most insufferable women to be around. Totally childish and craving attention wherever they are. Like having two untrained housepets running around, or spending time with undisciplined toddlers who should be sent to their rooms.

    Carole leads the “perfect life” IMHO. Independent and enjoys her sexual freedom without resorting to “vulgar humor” by taking part in ridiculous conversations made to appear “adult”. But these two morons seem to believe in their “attraction” as femme fatale’s without having the wherewithal to carry it off.

    Loved how Ramona decided to get up off her ass and head for the ocean so everyone could get a gander at her body because there were men looking on. How obvious is that? “Look at me!” was heard loud and clear as she “played in the waves” for the benefit of the male attention.

    “You’re Jewish right? I’m Catholic!” she announces which I had difficulty understanding why that had to be shouted out as she minced all over the place in a bikini that left nothing to the imagination. What an idiot as she danced for herself in front of a mirror as Sonja was grinding away from behind.

    One thing I can say for LuAnn: she sure is aggressive when it comes to getting what she wants from men. She just validated all those hints of her past “open marriage” accusations because we actually saw her at work!

12. 12
    Jason
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:40 am

    The whole LuAnn with fake Johnny Depp (fJD) was totally set up. And why the $%#$@ does Heather Tranny have to act so morally vaklempt at LuAnn fake-fooling around with fJD? Just STFU lady. Fake or real, it’s none of your business.

13. 13
    Iona Trailer
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:43 am

    The Cuntess – You go Miss Thing! You wanted that French looking Johnny Depp and you got him and rode him all night. She has no ring on that finger and who knows what bimbo Jacques was doing back in New York. She should have stopped talking about “the Italians” after she knew her gig was up.

    Ramona – They should have gotten her laid.

    Sonja – Has gone beyond being a hot mess. Tearing into Heather was uncalled for….

    Heather – She is the Marcia Brady of this group!

    Carole – The coolest housewife ever!

    Aviva – Becoming a total drag. Leave Reid at home!

14. 14
    Katie
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:00 am

    “I love Jac so much I want to have his baby!” Blech!

    “I miss Jac so much I just picked up Toma for a romp in the hay!” Gag!

    However, it is a almost a year later and they still are together by all accounts.

15. 15
    LAC
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Wowsy…another geographical location destroyed by the bitches… yay!

    In dedication to the upcoming recap, I offer this rewrite of the housewives catchphrases:

    Aviva: Never underestimate a woman born and raised in New York…oh, my God! are we in a closed/open space, moving car/truck, stairwell?!?!? That looks a like a thresher!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    Carolyn: I may be a princess, but I am definitely not a drama queen. Now, if you excuse me, I think I will have some private sexy time with my boyfriend while you bitches empty the liquor cabinets.

    Sonja: I little Sonja will spice up any party. C’mon, have a little Sonja, young man. It tastes good and is good for you. Really!!! Have some! Cmon, eat up and you will get dessert. PLEEEEEEEASE!!!!!

    Ramona: I am not afraid to say what everyone else is thinking…wait, what? What do you mean, voice in my head. People are thinking I’m a crazy drunk? How dare you talk about me behind my back, voice in my head!!!

    Heather: My success is built on making women look and feel their best…holla! And speaking of feeling
    better, ladies, guess what? The Countess is a big ole slut!! Double holla!!!

    Luann: To some people, living elegantly just comes naturally. Now, Tomas, if you could fetch me a drink and my tiffany dildo, we can began the evening. Merci beaucoup!

16. 16
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:42 am

    Whew, what an exhausting hour that was! Really some bat-crazy chit! Katie, spot on about LuMan! Aggressive indeed!!! BSL, can’t wait for the full recap!

17. 17
    OutHouseCat
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:04 am

    Katie hit the nail on the head about Ramoaner and $onJa. Why does Andy think showing these two old hags running around naked and making sexy talk to and about each other would appeal to the women that watch these shows? It’s like the producer is sexually delayed pervy middle-aged ugly man that spends his time fapping away while thinking about two women being together. Just quit it!!

    I’m seriously going to have to quit watching this shit if those two can’t stop sexing on each other and every man that stumbles into their grasp. I think I’m going to go take some penicillin now, just from thinking about this shit.

18. 18
    Katie
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:25 am

    But the “Housewives” are Bravo’s stock and trade for putting women on display as total whackjobs, lying sluts, two faced whores, back stabbing twits, and drunken tramps.

    Dress them up in”laugh out loud” clothing (I’m thinking Vicki here who looks like she is often wearing a curtain in some scenes), allow the boobs to “come out to play”, inject a ton of botox into the mix, and we can all sit back and giggle at the attempts to turn them into “maneaters”. It’s hilarious!

    But the most egregious part of all is the willingness of these women to allow themselves to be portrayed this way. As grasping, greedy, foul mouthed morons who agree to these terms up front. Even Gretchen, perhaps the youngest in the bunch, can get away with a little more than the others since she is in her mid 30s and even that is a stretch.

    But watching these women in their 40s and 50s delude themselves into thinking that this is an acceptable way to dress is demeaning to women at large. Coupled with the language they use in speaking to one another is another blow to womanhood which is where Bravo thrives.

    I’d love to see one of the contracts that agree to sign. Must be a doozy.

19. 19
    OutHouseCat
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:27 am

    And I forgot to add, that pirate look needs to die. Johnny Depp doesn’t even look good like that anymore.

    I hope Lu made him use protection. I’d hate for those super-fertile eggs of hers to hatch out a baby in full pirate make-up while Mommy Lu undergoes treatment for every STD known to man.

20. 20
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:27 am

    OutHouseCat, I know, right?!? The whole sex-starved scenarios with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum really need to stop! I think they both really believe it’s so cute and adorable and that it might even turn guys on. Riiight, maybe if they were in their 20′s and were actually HOT! Blech, just blech!

21. 21
    BelowSeaLevel
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Having coma toast for breakfast before the storm gets here. It’s going to be fun watching Lu explain Tomas, and looks like Aviva’s going to go off on the trashy twins.

22. 22
    wow
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 10:01 am

    I don’t know how the other women do it, I’m drained and irritable after watching Sonja and Ramona for one hour, I’d gouge my eyes out if I had to go on vacation with them. Those energy sucking personalities are so irritating, you’re in paradise, chill the F out, shut up and relax!!

    Totally agree about Luann’s French, at first I thought they were edited clips spliced together. It was so choppy.

23. 23
    Losangeles1993
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Sonja and Ramona are beyond gross. Both have obvious substance abuse problems and seem to be down low lovers. Also they are old and think they are still appealing to younger men. Umm no only to Avivas pervy dad. No young man wants a dried up prune.

24. 24
    labowner
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Aviva is the new Alexis bringing her handbag of a husband with every where she goes?

25. 25
    aliens.rock
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 11:31 am

    I think we might be too harsh criticizing the housewives for their choice of clothing. Was it too young and too sexy? Sure. But give them a break! They were on vacation on the tropical island. You can definietly go skimpier there. After all, RH of Orange County would show up in those outfits to the court or a funeral! Also, the housewives look good for their age, so why not? They deserved showing off their bodies after depriving themselves food for so long…HowEVER, there is no excuse for drunky immature behavior of our two “golden” girls. I bet their daughters are cringing watching those scenes.
    Heather’s greasy ginormous nose imprint on the glass…I fell off my couch laughing…

26. 26
    NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 11:51 am

    @hot cawfee: I think her accent is more of the “8th-grade French” variety.

27. 27
    Where's My Coffee?
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Can we rip these women apart without referring to them as “old hags” and suggesting that women over a certain age be stuffed away? Geez. Sexism & ageism all in one.

    I don’t see what was wrong with the way they dressed for a tropical island. So what if some cleavage shows. Are women suppose to become nuns for half of their lives? If no one likes it, too bad. I for one am sick to death of looking at cellulite and muffin tops on the 20 somethings. At least these women keep themselves in shape.

28. 28
    featherhead
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Remember the first season of RHNY when Ramona was pretending to be a “Cristian Woman”? She even left the couch because they were discussing Alex’s nude pictures (not showing them, just talking about them). Look at her now, she’s done a complete 180.

29. 29
    NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    How I put this delicately?

    Ramona is a classless whore. Always has been.

30. 30
    kthxbai
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    @Jason I know right? Since when do they give a fuck who all she hooks up with.

    It’s not like they’re all such BFFs with Jacques. That they resent feeling dragged into a conspiracy of his poor innocent heart getting deceived. By a wicked city woman.

    Didn’t Sonja ask LuAnn just 2 wks ago if the reason she wanted to have a baby was so she could keep Jacques?

    BTW is anybody ever going to tell LuAnn that Algonquin is more of a language family?

    It seems like in season 1 she was Sioux. Plus straight descended from a famous hero. (for protecting a mess of people when the companies 1st started doing their business up there) Except history professors in and out of Sioux nation are still arguing about if they even know for sure who it is. Not to mention she’d have called it Lakota. If she knew the word.

    Maybe next yr she’ll swap over to being 1/16th Cherokee princess.

31. 31
    NotwithoutmyTV
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    And if Ramona’s a classless whore, then Sonja is nothing but a hard-used $5 pussy that a sailor wouldn’t touch–unless he could haggle the price down to $2.50.

32. 32
    featherhead
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    I find it so freaking funny that Lu (she loves it when I call her that) is no longer jamming “I’m a Countess ” into every sentence – Now it’s. “I’m a Indian (don’t fuck with me)! And come to think about it, she has stopped calling everyone “darling “. My world has been turned upside down!!!

33. 33
    OutHouseCat
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Where’sMyCoffee – I didn’t mean to offend with the “old hags” thingy. Hell, I’m 52 myself and wish I looked as good as LuMan. lol It’s just that “old hag” is quicker to type than say, “coven of witches” or “dirty nasty down-low ho-bags” or “hot steamy mess” or…well, you get my drift here, right?

34. 34
    NotAlway'sPerfekt
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    OHC, Luvs it & ur drift!

35. 35
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    @where’s my coffee – Totally agree! Luann especially looked like she has been working hard and I think the shape and dress is fine it’s just some of the behavior I find gross on any age.

    @featherhead – you can say she’s done a 180 but that’s only if you look at a very small sample of her behavior since she constantly spins like a top. That same season opened with her bikini-clad at her pool, humping a female friend and playing her faux-lesbian games and embarrassing her pre-teen daughter. So the Alex outrage was hypocritical even back then.

36. 36
    OutHouseCat
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    NAPerfekt – lol It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, right? These chicks make it so easy. I keep saying I’m done watching this mess, but every Monday there I am.

37. 37
    Annie
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Damn!! Who knew Luanne had it in her? And by “it” I mean Johnny Depp Jr’s penis. Actually, it was fun to see her get crazy and non-judgemental for a change. And the day after? Positively glowing, dahhling. Who hasn’t had that “oh god, Im so hungover but I GOT SOME LAST NIGHT” look, amiright ladies?

    Carole…LOVE HER, she was cracking me up the whole time.

    Heather….gotta love she smacked her face into the window. God knows I’ve done it.

    Sonya……put the booze down, sweetie. The “middle aged wino” look is sooooo 2008

    Ramoner….same goes for you, tummy’s getting a little bloated (nice ass, though)

38. 38
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    I love Carole. Hers is the only Housewife book I’d even consider reading.

    She’s so candid, unpretentious, and open, without the holier-than-ALL OF YOU attitude of a certain other “royal.” Even mention of her good friends John and Carolyn was low-key. Compare that with: “The last time the Count and I were invited to visit the King and Queen of Scratchistan, the queen seemed flattered that I asked to borrow one of her dresses for my next photo shoot.”

    No matter how classy Aviva may look, memories of pictures her vulgar, smut-mouthed, horndog father trigger my gag reflex whenever I see her.

    His actions around people he’s just met aren’t funny, appropriate, or even socially acceptable. Even if she isn’t repulsed by him, she should have the decency to keep him hidden and not force him on her friends. When even Sonja is turned off by his pocket lizard being pushed against her back . . . I’m just sayin’
    ——————————————
    I wish they’d show another “what the guys are doing back home” segment. You just KNOW that Mary-O is proving last season’s palm reader correct.

    Jacques is out doing comparison shopping among the “more your own age and still able to have children” crowd.

    Heather’s hubby? He seems like a cool dude, so we’ll give him a pass. Besides, he has to wake up to that cheshire cat grin every morning, so he’s paid his dues.

39. 39
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    Should say

    No matter how classy Aviva may look, memories of her vulgar, smut-mouthed, horndog father trigger my gag reflex.

    I don’t know who threw the word “pictures” in there. Sorry

40. 40
    2muchbravo
    Posted August 28, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    Yes, I like Carole too. You’re absolutely right Too Old #38. I noticed how she just made the mention of her friends John and Carolyn in the small plane but didn’t feel the need to tell us it was the Kennedys. It’s obviously still painful and she’s not a fame whore that way. Just about everybody else would have thrown John Kennedy’s name into the comment. Jill sure would have, Kellie (he would have been *really* awesome), Bethenney would, God knows Alex would, Lu (she loves when you call her that) would have.
    You know the Kennedy’s loved the French people. You know who else loves French people? Lu! She loves as many as she can as often as she can! Oh la la!

41. 41
    Iona Trailer
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 4:54 am

    @NotwithoutmyTV

    Sonja is an over the hill trophy wife who is well past her expiration date. Her best bet is to find a rich guy on life support or at least on 24 oxygen.

42. 42
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 6:27 am

    @15— LAC– bbwwahhaaaaa!!!!!!! awesome rewrites!!!!!!!!!

    @30 kthnx– I know!!! Lu keeps switching tribes– jeebus-pick one please. Next thing she will start laying claim to being descended from Sacajawea and entitled to her profile on a gold dollar coin. And when Lu said Algonquin–did she mean the Algonquin Round Table??

    @33 OutyCat– you are fabulous!!!!!!

43. 43
    RomoSheDiNT
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 6:41 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with BSL and her family.
    Hope she gets power back soon and that levee holds.

44. 44
    TV Junkie
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 7:24 am

    Does anyone think that Lou A. is hanging around all the Frenchie guys is because she is trying to improve her accent?

    I think Sonja has all the bruises because natural blondes bruise easily ( if she is a Natural Blondes) ..or she is into S&M ….

    Mary~O ..the question.. what is he doing back in NYC? Do any of you remember in the 1st or 2nd season when he and MONA were eating at a sidewalk restaurant..3 pretty young woman walked past and he turned into a dirty old man ..he almost fell off his chair as he turned to check out their asses…???

45. 45
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 7:49 am

    @ 43 ROMO– amen and thank you for reminding–have the coverage on TV and am watching closely.

    @44 TV– I have been wondering about them!!!! It looks like someone grabbed her upper arm and that could be to stop a fall or what have you. It looked to me like it got worse. Also she seems to be rockin’ alot of sleeve-less tops in winter.

46. 46
    reality
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 8:56 am

    Carole is so cool and has a real interesting background that few housewives have. The term “well-accomplished” works for her. But she is so normal that it seems like she’s a voyeur for us on what it’s like filming that show. It’s like she’s on the show, but more behind the scenes for us. And at the same time, she has her own interesting storyline, instead of a non-story line like Sheree.

47. 47
    Closet Fan
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    46 comments later I do not remember who mentioned it first. I agree that Aviva should be more disturbed and embarrassed by her fathers behavior vs Ramona and Sonya’s behavior.

48. 48
    tvsnarkeling
    Posted August 29, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Maybe SonJay’s oven can make “Coma Toast”

    Lu’s wild ride on the french side does not bother my standards. She is not married and Carole made it clear in the beginning she has a few boyfriends and follows the theme “love the one your with”. Although I believe Lu and producers had this planned to create drama (Didn’t they delay the start of this season because there was no drama?

49. 49
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 6:05 am

    @ 48 TVSnarky– good point—-this whole thing maybe a precursor to the “Baby Making”. Lu (she loves when we call that) may decide to commit to Jaques and have his baby and leave her cougar ways behind (well in St Barths).

    Damn– I miss Alex and Simon–so much so that I swear I actually her voice on a “Coming up…” on a recent episode. I think she and cool cat Carole would get along well.

50. 50
    charis mcarthy
    Posted August 30, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    Geez kids, lay off the “hag” comments. Your ass should look as good as Ramoaner’s when you are 54. And Sonja? I feel for that sad sack, but she’s still a sexy mama. Lu – get it while you can, girl! Who can blame you?? That pirate was ripe for the taking! Your attempt to fake it though? As lame as that first year French student accent!
    Aviva – jasus lady, you are such a wet blanket. Agree with other posters that your old man is the epitome of “white trash” so how dare you be offended by the likes of my sweet “hags”???
    Carol – WTF are you doing on this show again?? Thanks for bringing some levity and logic to the RHNYC, although methinks you have made a major career misstep here…

51. 51
    RomoSheDiNT
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 6:34 am

    @charis That’s a pretty name. So unique. I also agree, Ramona does look good, but I can’t say for her age bc she’s had work done. Sonja is starting to look older in the face and her hair is jacked up. She needs some products, right? Girlfriend also needs to settle a bit. Like take a breath or something. I really like Carole. Her bf is a tool though. She would be better off with Tripp, her neighbor. Geez
    Lu, Lu, Lu… You go girl! Fuck that pirate! Lol!!

52. 52
    hot cawfee
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 2:28 pm

    OK– kids am really losing it now– I watched arepeat of the prior episode (with the Spinny Charity Event) and I did hear Alex say “Comin up…” about half way thru !!!!!!!!!!

53. 53
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted August 31, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    i noticed Sonja looking older too, That wine does not look good for her. Once she was a funny Wino but since the Bankrupcy she’s a depressing one to watch.
    Lu-Ann isn’t as annoying to me any more but prob because she’s toned down the Countess persona.
    Heather still annoys me, lol. Carole is cool and kind of funny. Aviva i actually like, at a certain age you need to have your shit together but they were on Vacation, i do see why she should have left her husband. This show is still missing something, out of ALL the women in NY i can’t believe Heather, Carole and Aviva were the best they could find. i find them all Too normal.

54. 54
    aliens.rock
    Posted September 1, 2012 at 8:43 am

    @49 Hot Cawfee
    I disagree with you on whether Carol and Alex would be friends. Alex and Simon were a couple of most pretentious and fake people I have watched in a while. Carol would be cool to their faces, but she would laugh behind their backs (in a cool, good way:-)).
    Also, Carol might actually write a book about this experience, so maybe this is not a bad move for her career. If not, she can pretend she was doing an anthropological research on a really wierd tribe ( or that she participated in a National Geographic movie about mating baboons).