MiniCap: RHOC

Recaps

By ZipTheRip | Monday, April 25, 2011 | 9:00 am | 9 Comments
Posted in: MiniCaps, Real Housewives of Orange County, Recaps

alexis 1

The sun’s always brighter in the OC…It’s Gretchen’s birthday and Slade does his douchebag best to be the guy who can pull off a homemade gift.  Doesn’t work.  Gretchen manages to not call him fat this episode but then again she was too busy telling him that he’s a mooch who makes zero money and contributes nothing.  I don’t feel bad for Slade, he’s a loser deadbeat dad, but G’s no prize this season either.  I think they make a lovely couple.

Peggy and her GiNORmous boobs play host at a fashion show where, wait for it, housewives are models. *yawn*  Turns out Jeanna is one of the models now that she has finished her stint with Jackie Warner and is twenty-five pounds lighter.  She looks better but her face is somehow beaten down and tight at the same time.  Jeanna’s never been as wily as she thinks she is and Tamra spins the message and wears her halo when J starts asking all kinds of questions (that are none of her business).

The fashion show is just another housewives fashion show although this one had a light show.  Peggy is wearing a JiffyPop bag and looks like she will topple forward from the weight of her GiNORmous cans.  Tamra tries out her acting chops with some backstage drama about being sooooo nervous about having to walk down the runway in front of people and then hits the stage and gives it her experienced ho stroll complete with kissy lips and gang signs, way to keep it classy Tamra.

Alexis channels Jesus (again) and decides to forgive (not really) and forget (not really) all of the wrongs that Vicki has done to her (or at least the two non-issues that she keeps trying to wring a storyline out of).  She is launching her own line of dresses, a coo-ture line, I mean cow-ture, uhm, you know the kind of dresses that are, uhm, super rich.  She stops by to see the ‘designer’ (is she calling this woman towel?) who is doing all the creating and sewing and hacks away at dresses she doesn’t like to emphasize who is in charge (Jimbo) and who is paying the bills (not really).

Vicki had nothing to do this episode except be her neurotic and annoying self…job done!

Full recap coming soon…

About

ZipTheRip has the television viewing habits of a tween-girl with zero parental supervision.   Combining cynical wit with a flair for writing (winner of the prestigious Grade Three Best Writer in the Class Award) ZipTheRip has found an outlet for the inordinate amount of brain candy consumed through reality television.

9 Comments

  1. 1
    Nikki Hughes
    Posted April 25, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    Someone explain to me why Alexis was so adamant about cutting of those sleeves, when the sleeves on her intro “My body is sinful” outfit are exactly THE SAME!? What a maroon!

  2. 2
    mere2142
    Posted April 25, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    I love when Jesus Barbie tries to explain something that she isn’t really sure what it is in the first place (such a couture)and then just makes up something in the end.

    I don’t know how Peggy can walk properly, or do anything really, with those ginormous tits. Those things are ridiculous.

  3. 3
    2muchbravo
    Posted April 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    These wummin have about as much class as the Jersey dames. They’re just not as loud. They’re dumb, overextended financially, delusional, tacky, classless. The blond version of Jersey. Only difference is head mama treats her husband like shit in the OC.

  4. 4
    someguy
    Posted April 25, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    2muchbravo well written,i agree 100%. I would only add just as ugly on the inside as the out.both in behavior and plastic fake looks.I would say all there boobs are way ugly hack jobs .the shock of the show is there denile.They do think they look good.scary

  5. 5
    sheesh
    Posted April 26, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Oh Tammysue. You got it going on girl dontcha.
    DEUCES!!!!!!!
    Peggy’s boobievein is some scary shit.

  6. 6
    charlie
    Posted April 27, 2011 at 10:07 am

    Will some PLEASE tell Alexis what ‘COOOR-CHURRRR’ is. If she is so ‘into fashion’ she could grasp the simple fact that ‘couture is French, and hand executed’ It’s more than ‘super-expensive’. Wait until Alexis’s happy step-n-fetch it goes to cash her check, and realizes the funds to back it went the same way as the sleeves, down the tube.

  7. 7
    Bobbi Jo Woods
    Posted April 27, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    I can’t believe Juggs for Jesus (Alexis) has the balls to do that to her designer…after all even if it’s “her” dress, that poor woman was mortified. I would be, too. Juggs could have pinned the sleeves up to illustrate her point instead of hacking it up like that (even though it was a gawdawful thing to begin with) That thing was like: Zha-Zha Gabor meets Stevie Nicks meets a $5 hooker!

  8. 8
    mulecitybabe
    Posted April 27, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    @ charlie – Please please don’t tell Tits for Christ what Cooor-Chrurrr means. It’s too much fun to watch her tell us what it means. I heard next week’s vocabulary word is “A Venntt Gaard

    And I totally agree with BJW. How rude to rip off that atrocious sleeve right in front of it’s horrified creator. Fug doesn’t even begin to describe it and a $5 hooker wouldn’t wear it (unless they’re trying to attract freaks with bad taste) but still, just rude.

  9. 9
    robin
    Posted April 28, 2011 at 9:21 am

    God I hate Vicki. I hope she gets harpooned over the divorce. She wasted a man like Don, because work is so important. Cats in the cradle. Listen to that song a d see where your gonna be someday Vicki. But at least you’ll have 700 agents you change your diaper.

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