MiniCap: RHOC

Recaps

By ZipTheRip | Monday, May 16, 2011 | 1:33 pm | 3 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Posted in: MiniCaps, Real Housewives of Orange County, Recaps

bull
Things start off with Alexis shopping with her “assistant” Dylan.  She has accepted Gretchen’s invite to visit her while she hawks her Beaute wares on community television in Texas.  Turns out Alexis is looking for a pair of boots that are made for walking and later reveals her marital strife and misery in a drunken ramble (ok, not truly drunk, more like prom queen squealing I’m so drunk I’m not responsible for anything I do or say kind of drunk).

Vicki’s at the office threatening her staff with more sexual harassment by way of spankings if they don’t get their work done.  Hey, whatever it takes to motivate right?  I bet the staff have sales numbers through the roof with that kind of danger lurking.

Tamra has Simon arrested for throwing the dog or the dog leash or something like that at her and Jeana shows up to defend Simon and teach Tamra the basics of Doormat 101 (ok, is anyone looking out for the dog?) .  It wasn’t the bitch slap moment that’s been teased, so I guess the big confrontation is still to come.

Tamra milks her moment in the spotlight and squeezes the abused ex angle for all it’s worth with poor dim Eddie, she is soooo stressed, she is fragile, she is scared, she is a victim, oh Eddie you’re so big and strong…blech.  Tamra you’re waaaay too old to try and play the innocent ingénue.

Texas tramps are in the house when Alexis, Peggy and Fernanda (how’d she get in here) show up to visit Gretchen.  Booze, BBQ and boobs are the on the menu and the ladies get hammered and nibble on a few bites of the mile-long meat buffet.  Alexis interviews that she is a recovering anorexic/bulimic and excuses herself to go to vomit to the bathroom before she joins the ladies for lesbian dancing (God says it doesn’t count if you’re drunk) and awkward mechanical bull riding.

That’s the CliffsNotes, full recap coming soon…

About

ZipTheRip has the television viewing habits of a tween-girl with zero parental supervision.   Combining cynical wit with a flair for writing (winner of the prestigious Grade Three Best Writer in the Class Award) ZipTheRip has found an outlet for the inordinate amount of brain candy consumed through reality television.

3 Comments

  1. 1
    someguy
    Posted May 16, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    Hey Alexis I just checked and you are going to go to to Hell for lying and dancing with a Homosexual. Sorry for the bad news
    You blew it.Better get back to Jim he can tell you what to do.
    good luck

  2. 2
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 17, 2011 at 1:08 am

    Ooooooh. So now I know why Peggy and Alexis are so competitive. Peggy is Jim’s ex-girlfriend.

    http://realhousewivesofgossip.blogspot.com/2011/05/alexis-bellino-jim-used-to-date-peggy.html

    It’s weird though, because Alexis seems the most insecure even though she has the ring. Is it because she realizes that Micah looks way better than her own greasy husband? That has to be the only reason as both men are poor, poor, poor. Foreclosure meet foreclosure. “Hey, Alexis, see you down at welfare office!” – Peggy

    Fernanda’s scenes are so awkward now that she has been written out of the show. It’s obvious she was filmed to be a housewife but they edited out her storyline so she just looks like a hanger-on when she is around the other ladies. If you cut me out, cut me all the way out, like Bravo did Gretchen’s ex Jay Photoglou.

    Also, I’ve read plenty of reports that Slade’s mom is not the same woman who appeared in the 1st season with his father on a visit to see him and Jo. Turns out all reports are correct. However, the lady we saw last week was not an actress as some believe but his real mom while the woman from the first season is his stepmom. Good. Only a true mother can look you in the eyes and tell you what a fuck-up you are. Thank you Ms. Smiley for not mincing your words.

  3. 3
    Dirty Sanchez
    Posted May 17, 2011 at 11:26 am

    Damn Sarca, that’s some good sleuthin’! No wonder those two act so weird around one another. Universal hatred for Alexis aside, she does look about 1,000 times hotter than that bony praying mantis Peggy.

    I forgot how much of a miserable, joyless, bitter cunt Jeana was. Thanks for the reminder hun!

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