Minicap: RHONY

Recaps

By BelowSeaLevel | Tuesday, June 12, 2012 | 8:34 am | 19 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of NYC, Recaps

This week’s episode opens with Aviva and Heather meeting up for a dinner with their husbands.  Ramona was right about Heather–girlfriend can do some talking.  She kept going on and on despite her cute husband toasting to shutting the fuck up…Heather!  Things went from a little awkward to full-on “oh shit!” when Heather brought up Aviva’s ex admitting to knocking boots with some of the ladies.  

What do you mean you left your wallet at home?

 

The Countess and Ramona meet up in the park for a long overdue conversation.  There’s some serious hateration between these two.  LuAnn continues her pursuit of that elusive apology, but it ends up being another re-hashing of LuAnn’s shitty parenting and Ramona’s Pinot-infused screechings.  Ladies, how about some Wii bowling…best three out of five. 

I soooooo wanna beat the crap outta you!

 

Carole and Aviva meet up for some vintage shopping.  They obviously have a girl-crush going on with each other.  Carole tells Aviva that she’s dating a musician that’s been touring with Aerosmith.  That doesn’t mean Carole is blind to the attractive guy shopping in the boutique.  Carole saunters over to chat with him, but unfortunately, he’s shopping for his model girlfriend and isn’t exactly feeling the furry toaster cozy thing that Carole has on her head. 

Sonja meets with Rich and his brother to take a look at some leaks that developed in her home after a hurricane.  Rich has a heartbeat and a penis, so Sonja finds him hot and isn’t listening to anything he’s saying until he asks to go take a look upstairs which quickly perks up her ears.  Once upstairs, Sonja turns the discussion to the damaged box spring and demonstrates how her assistant with big boobs falls out of bed each morning.  Rich can’t get out of the bedroom soon enough because Sonja is one step away from pouncing on her prey.  

Heather is throwing a party at their Berkshires home for her recently departed father, to celebrate and toast to his life…again.  I hope they toasted to this gentleman while he was alive at least one tenth as much as they have in these two episodes. 

LuAnn has a talk with Noel about a note from his teacher that he’s about to fail French, and that’s unforgivable since he has a French father and so is his mother’s live-in boyfriend.  This is LuAnn’s code language, for God’s sake!

Aviva and Ramona meet up for lunch.  Aviva brings up THE THREAT and it pisses off Ramona that LuAnn mentioned it to Aviva.  Aviva realizes her rookie mistake of bringing up something like that before Ramona’s consumed her third bottle.  Now, LuAnn can really kiss that fucking apology good-bye.

Sonja is presenting at the GLAAD Awards.  She ventures to the green room that isn’t really green and gets distracted chatting and eating.  She’s completely unaware that an audience is waiting on her.  As long as she didn’t give an award to the wrong person or fall off stage, she’s pleased with herself. 

Next week:  Harry Dubin!  Please check back in a couple of days for the full recap. 

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BelowSeaLevel, xoxo

Living in New Orleans, it helps to be a good swimmer.  

 

 

 

19 Comments

  1. 1
    featherhead
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:28 am

    Heather’s kid Jax looked just like Braxton from Toddlers & Tiara’s. Same haircut and manners!!

  2. 2
    cherrylipgloss
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Oh, girlfriend, you went way too easy on these broads in your minicap. I hope for the full recap you crawl into the gutter they dug and call them out for continuing to wallow in the filth they malicously keep tossing into their own personal cesspool.
    Remember when the housewives first started and we thought we were going to see how the other half lived….the mansions, the designer clothes, the jewels, the extravagant vacays??….ya, me either. It’s all been overshadowed by backstabbing, greed, pretenses, infedelity and downfall of epic proportions.
    I haven’t seen one housewife that I’d trade places with and perhaps that’s theultimate payoff. Having watched only half the franchises, I can easily face anything life throws my way. Most importantly I can sleep knowing that I have never stooped to the depths these men and women from reality tv do and that gives me such peace…..
    Thanks BSL for the minicap….looking forward to the full length version!

  3. 3
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:50 am

    I feel we should have been spared the funeral/celebration. Because we don’t know her it’s just weird to be apart of something like that.

    So Ramona may have threatened to tell what happened at Luann’s son’s party but Luann is already telling everyone so what’s the big deal. Then Ramona apologizes AGAIN and Luann is still looking for another apology. Maybe Ramona should say I’m sorry in Luann’s code language (French) then she would get it.

    Carole Suit!!

    and I loved that Carole said COCK…and she is a princess so suck in Kyle and Adrienne.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 9:50 am

    *Suck it

    Well that just ruined the whole joke. *price is right fail horns*

  5. 5
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

    Open note to Aviva— Back OFF!!! I have a girl-crush on Carole– she is mine (and I dont mean that in a stalker way. I heart her very much-y-ness).

    I cannot wait for this to all go off the rails. Heather is yes– making some rookie mistakes but I think girl-friend can pull this off.

  6. 6
    Adelefig
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Classy Drunk, your joke wasn’t ruined at all cause I did a snorty laugh about your sadpriceisrightfail horns! ;-)

  7. 7
    TV Junkie
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Can’t wait for the rest of the recap..I loved watching Moanona’s eyes bug out of her head..(I think her head also spun around a few times ) when she was talking to LuLu on the bench….I really think Moannona is more than a drunk..don’t know what …..but she is a mess!!!!!!
    LuLu is a nut too…in fact all of them are, but far more enjoyable and interesting than RHOOC!

  8. 8
    fancyface
    Posted June 12, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    Is it just me or does anyone else think that it was inappropriate for Heather to drop the ‘your ex whoresband has stupped two of your new coworkers…cheers’ bomb @ dinner with Aviva & her husband? Idk, but to me, that’s was not ok. To quote every housewife last season..’Wrong place, Wrong time’. And even though Av is happily remarried, does a girl ever really want to hear about who their ex husband is doing? She looked quite taken aback while Heather just laughed & laughed. Not cool.

    Does anyone know why they interspersed the scenes with Aviva Heather eating with their kids during the ‘we’re back but not really’ segment? I wonder how long it’s going to take Ramona to ask Heather if she disciplines her kids.

    Best line of the night…Noel: I’m failing because of my French teacher’s accent. Jacques: What accent is your math teacher? Bam! Score one for Jacques. It was brilliant..even in broken English!

  9. 9
    Iona Trailer
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 5:58 am

    Ramona is delusional not to mention a messy drunk. Everytime she drinks a glass of Pino you can call it a blood transfusion.

    The Cuntess may have her faults but I like her way more and hope she wins the war with Ramona.

    Sonja is such a ho! Love it! I hated her last year because I hated the blondes but I think she needs to get away from the influence of Ramona…and she would be a lot more fun! I laughed out loud when she jiggled her tits for the repair guy. You go Miss Thing,…work them titties!!!

  10. 10
    mere2142
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 6:28 am

    Sonja is a riot. I love her line about wanting to cook for the ‘hunky’ contractor in her toaster oven. I swear she is the only likeable person on this mess of a show.

  11. 11
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 7:03 am

    I can’t stand LuAnn, she annoys me to the very core. Your kids ARE A MESS. The girl may have hope and that’s because she suddenly has this talent to paint. Your son, on the other hand, is going to end up like the Manzo boys, living off of your Bravo cash and with a sense of entitlement he’s already fine tuned. Kudooz to Jacques for his snarky comeback to Noah’s idiotic comment of why he’s failing. Idiot. Meanwhile LuAnn fizzles out with the “let’s make a deal”. Bitch please! What she should have done was threaten Noah with sitting right the hell behind him in every goddamn class until he gets his shit together since she doesn’t work.
    Heather is a brown haired version of Jill. A Shit talker with a pointed nose. And really, her party/memorial had no feeling in it whatsoever. I’ve never seen anyone less interested in the death of a parent. Her sister got more emotional about than her, she was as flat as piece of paper. She has dead eyes and I don’t trust her.
    Poor rich Sonja.
    Aviva, jury still out on her!
    Ramona is mentally unstable. I wouldn’t get near her with an electronic cattle prod.

  12. 12
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 7:05 am

    Noah=Noel. Eh, whatever!

  13. 13
    Sunshine
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 8:56 am

    I loved how the Aerosmith dater was acting like she was all cool with the non-monogamy thing and then was brutally shot down by the young hot guy shopping. The cameras alone must have freaked him out.

    Sonia jumping up and down in her skinny jeans…..she’s nuts.

    And correctly mentioned..the “what accent does your math teacher have” was AWESOME! I can’t stand kids like Luann’s son…he is going to be a real pain in the butt in a few years she had best let him know soon that there are such things outside of the Hamptons…like work.

  14. 14
    Mimo
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Let’s not forget that the poor, untalented, non-rythmic kid was forced to attempt to breakdance on national television. That could cause some deep scarring.

  15. 15
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    @8 Fancy– rofl good one !!!!! I forgot about that.

  16. 16
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    @13 Sunny– sho’ are– lots of landscaping jobs, retail stores, restaurants. And he can pick grapes ata winery– lots of work. I come the papers out here on Lawng Gisland. And Lulu should have the young mister out to the Riverhead DMV for his Lerners Permit!!!!!

  17. 17
    hot cawfee
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 6:16 pm

    oops– “comb” the papers—peruse them. Not “come” crikeysakes—-what sort of sense makes that????

  18. 18
    fancyface
    Posted June 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    @clouds…THANK YOU! I was wondering what felt so off about the memorial party & you nailed it! Her FAKE emotions! That poem they were reading was beautiful but I only felt emotional when her sister was reading it & that’s why! OMG…pinot lightbulb over my head :)

  19. 19
    LAC LAC
    Posted June 14, 2012 at 9:57 am

    I had to do a marathon viewing of all my fav reality shows – Graduation time, c’mon!! (dances the jig in celebration of dating night returning)

    Ramona and Luann argument synopsis? Luann: Apology, apology, apology? Ramona: you are condenscending and judgmental and your children are horrible and you are a bad parent and don’t start with me and I won’t start with you and look at my nails, aren’t they good?

    Battle of idiots on a bench…

    Sonja – My god, the cougar is back in form. I thought she was going to guide the contractor’s hand to her crotch when he was talking about wet spots in the house. She is going to be a hoot this season. He looked terrified – it was hilarious.

    Heather – watching that dinner with you and your kids is why people hate going out to dinner. Sitting near the little darlings grabbing food and being obnoxious must be a nightmare. I did love the poem.

    Avila and Caroline – loved the store they went to and wow, guys looking like that are shopping there? Name and address please. :)

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