Gossip Slife here. Your one and only source for- wait a freakin’ minute!! This isn’t Gossip Girl! This is Real Housewives of NYC. And I’m not bBitz! WTF? It’s true, gasmii. That damn ginger decided to go on vacay, so I’m filling in this week. I’m guessing he went to Australia. I hear it’s very popular with redheads. (Winky face!) Anyhoo, I have some mayjah shoes to fill, and I’m not as good with the graphic pics, but I’ll still do my best to make you pee yourselves a little from laughing.
Where to start? How about with newbie Cindy? And I use the term “newbie” loosely…as loose as the sallow flesh hanging from her bones. She’s eleventy if she’s a day. And I’m pretty sure she’s a closet lez. Aside from how irresponsible it is to have kids at her age, I was horrified to watch her, her incestuous brother, and her babies’ daddy play with the twins. Is this what’s become of the modern family?!
Next up: Sonja. This bitch just cracks me up. She wears sporty knee high socks, commissioned a painting of herself, understands the importance of a pecking order, keeps a well-stocked stable of men whose names she can barely remember, and loves the gays almost as much as she loves herself. No wonder I identify so much with her. I AM HER! This week she decided to throw a FAB masquerade party. Hey, any excuse to play dress up, right? Unfortch, her party was small and cramped and lame. Except for the part where she realized she forgot half her costume at home and that her ass had been hanging out the entire time! LMAO.
And finally, the piece de resistance! An epic bantam weight division brawl between frenemies Jill and Ramona. You knew it was comin’! The tension had been brewing since Jill got back from Australia and promised to keep her fat, gossiping mouth shut. (Yeah, that didn’t last long at ALLLL.) Nothing like a party, some Pinot Grigio, and a bride bombshell to get the Ramona crazy train off and running. Now, while I’m not a fan of Miss Crazy Eyes, I kinda felt myself on “her side” of this ridiculous spat with Jill.
What did you think?? We’ll rip these loony tunes bitches a new one in the full recap. Stay tuned! And to check out the recap for last week’s show, click here.