Hi Gasmii! P-Baby here with the minicap for the first episode of CBS’s new series Same Name. The premise is simple. Celebrities or “celebrities” swap lives with us regular folk that are so blessed to have the same name as them to see how the other lives. When I first heard about this show, I was apprehensive, wondering what celebrities would agree to such shenanigans but it looks like they’ve scored top dollar tonight with David Hasselhoff. Now, I know David Hasselhoff is a name that incurs many an eye roll but we can’t forget that before he was rolling around on the floor with cheeseburgers, he was a goddamn superstar in Germany. Like of Elvis proportions. Which, cheeseburger episode in mind, doesn’t seem out of place in that context.
So Rich David arrives via small airplane in Lake Jackson, TX to meet Bald David, a family man and new father who works as a high voltage power technician and landscaper. Rich David hands over the keys to all his cars and also hands over a bunch of autographed pictures. Nothing like saying “I’m richer than you,” within the first three minutes of introductions. But he’s nice enough and probably doesn’t realize that having keys to eight cars worth more than Bald David’s house might seem flashy to these kind folk.
Bald David takes Rich David’s plane to Rich David’s pad in LA and is greeted by Rich David’s bodyguard, hot daughter, housekeeper, and personal assistant. I’m puzzled by the need for said bodyguard as Rich David is a legit amazon making Bald David’s home look like Polly Pocket’s humble abode. Bald David goes on a tour of the home as led by Rich David’s hot daughter and falls asleep in Rich David’s huge bed, probably thrilled to be away from his crying baby that won’t STFU back in Lake Jackson.
The next day Bald David meets with Rich David’s dad and sister who are both all sorts of adorable. Dad especially because I love old people so, so much. He also works out with Rich David’s trainer and has a meeting with his agent. Rich David’s agent tries to make us feel bad for how little free time Rich David has but Mr. P-Baby reminds me and I’ll remind the rest of you that Rich David doesn’t have to put up with the normalities in life such as wanting to murder the woman in front of you at Walmart paying by check or cleaning grease spatters on the stove because he is rich and has been for decades. So rich, in fact, that he has enough money for the most horrifying thing I’ve seen as of late (picture saved for full recap) after John Lithgow’s Trinity ass.
In Lake Jackson, Rich David goes to the electrical plant to clean some oil out of a pod. The stupid baby is still crying so Bald David’s wife wakes up Rich David in the middle of the night to shut it up by giving it a bottle. It’s KIND of sweet if it wasn’t totally weird to have a complete stranger in your house singing to your infant all the while highlighted by Silence of the Lambs night vision. Rich David also gets put to work mowing lawns for the landscaping business and he tells us he hasn’t mowed the lawn in twenty years. We get it, fool. You don’t do anything but embarrass yourself on TV and walk around being taller than everyone. Thanks. There’s a problem with the business however, as a piece of equipment is acting up and it costs $6000 to replace/fix/I wasn’t really paying attention to what the actual problem was.
Both Hoffs head out on the town, one to the Geisha House in LA and the other to a country shit-kicking bar which looks twenty times more fun than the weird neon glow of LA’s night life. Both Hoffs have a great time and Rich David can’t keep himself from taking the stage and babbling for what feels like days about what a great time he’s having with the Texas Hasselhoffs. Rich David has been super super nice to Candy, Bald David’s mom, and it makes me like him better for it.
Four days have passed and it’s time for the David’s to switch back to their original lives. But before the swap can be complete, Rich David surprises the Texas Hoffs with two brand new lawn mowers for the landscaping business and a donation towards the crying baby’s college education. OK. I like the Hoff. I can’t help it. He also gifts Bald David and his wife two first class tickets to Germany and two front row tickets to one of his concerts.
Gasmii, what did you think? Did you like? Are you itching in anticipation of an hour of Reggie Bush later this season??!?! Check back in a few days for the full recap and a picture that will give you nightmares for years.