Minicap: Snooki & JWoww

Snooki & JWoww

By SuburBint | Friday, July 20, 2012 | 12:43 pm | 10 Comments
Tagged: , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Snooki & JWoww

The best thing about this week’s episode was the commercial for Sleeping Dogs, coming soon to a home video game console near you!

“You’re a cop. I am an undercover cop. The rules are different.”

The episode starts about five minutes before the end of last week’s episode, so we get to relive the overwhelming support and joy shown by the JS housemates when Snooki announces her engagement. They are a little nicer when they discover that she’s pregnant, but still give her a hard time because: a) Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is having a baby, and b) they’re all kind of assholes. God knows I made plenty of snarky comments myself when I heard the news, but c’mon: a) Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is having a baby, and b) I’m kind of an asshole.

In spite of her roommates’ remarks, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an honest and innocent expression on Snooki’s face.

I’ll go over exactly what is said by whom in the full recap, but suffice it to say that when Sammi “the bitch” “Sweetheart” is the most supportive person at the table, it is time to find new friends STAT. After everybody else leaves, Snooki punishes JMomm for being unsupportive and bitchy at dinner by making her watch childbirth videos online.

Later in the episode, Anthony the Handyman drops by “unexpectedly” to get his money, Jionni and Snooki attempt (does the “unsuccessfully” really need to be said?) to put together a barbecue grill, and Snooki discovers what it feels like to be the only sober one at a party, thereby understanding about 0.625% of what watching an episode of her drunken antics on Jersey Shore makes me feel like. We also meet the Gay Joeys, learn that JMomm has a pop-up home-spray-tan tent, and discover that JMomm’s dad looks like a librarian.

Full ‘cap should be up later this weekend. You can catch up on last week’s nonsense here.

<3,

SuburBint

About

After giving birth to her fourth child, SuburBint carefully weighed the options and decided that recapping reality TV was probably a better choice in the long run than alcoholism. Liver function tests have yet to confirm the wisdom of this decision. Being an honest-to-goodness recapper is also a dream come true, as she has aspired to do this ever since discovering that such a thing existed way back in 2002.

Her favorite shows of all time include Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Coupling, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Firefly, Community, Parks and Recreation, Doctor Who, and Veronica Mars. She can also quote The Big Lebowski in its entirety, and will do so with little to no provocation.

 

10 Comments

  1. 1
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted July 20, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    When you wrote “JMomm has a pop-up” I was afraid to read the rest of the sentence.

    Wow. I can’t wait for the supportive things those friends have to say.

  2. 2
    WishICouldDance
    Posted July 20, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    Yeah… My reaction to the… Um…. Joyful news?!? Was “Oh dear God! The Mayans were right ’cause this sure a Hell has to be a sign of the apocalypse!!”

    That doesn’t make me a bad person, does it? Either way – I can live with it! : D

  3. 3
    SuburBint
    Posted July 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

    @ WishICouldDance — My reaction was somewhat similar. I don’t think it makes either of us bad people. There was much pearl-clutching when Snooki’s pregnancy was confirmed, even by people who have never clutched their pearls before in their lives. And in this episode when Snooki was talking about being able to resume her party ways as soon as the baby “pops out,” my worst fears for that child’s future were confirmed.

    @ SSC – I would love to know exactly what other item(s) you thought JMomm might have that pop up.

  4. 4
    WishICouldDance
    Posted July 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Having “been there, done that” on the whole baby ‘pops out’…. Bwaaaaaaahaaaaaa! Oh, bless her heart! Yes, just like a champagne cork!!

    No video ever made will prepare her for THAT reality!! Now, I actually might enjoy hearing her reactions to childbirth!

    Can’t wait for the full recap!! I count on you to keep me informed! ; D

  5. 5
    SuburBint
    Posted July 20, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    @ WishICouldDance — I’m betting that Snooki will opt for an elective C-section. Time will tell. She’s so tiny, in her case it might not be entirely elective. She has already openly admitted to finding the idea of breastfeeding gross, so I’m surprised that she’s being so mellow about the whole giving birth thing so far. Although, given her planned career as a vet tech before Jersey Shore made her famous, she might be pretty solid when it comes to the more gory aspects of labor and delivery.

  6. 6
    WishICouldDance
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 4:01 am

    See, this is why I need you!! I hadn’t thought of that. (Although, I was thinking more of the pain during labor than any mess involved. ) This is yet another reminder that their Reality is nothing like MY reality. Thank you, once again, for keeping me current & in the know.

    Since you actually watch…. Do you think this is the REAL her or simply her (can’t believe I’m saying this) job? I find myself wondering, from time to time. And if you’ve already covered this, sorry.
    Oh!! I read your comments on HK recap, we seem to be on the same page there!! I think GR shows tons of restraint – I would have stabbed someone by now!!

  7. 7
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 5:19 am

    @wishy, can you imagine Snooki’s on-air persona existing in real life? If she is real, may I never go near New Jersey for fear of contamination. I catch things so easily.

  8. 8
    SuburBint
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 7:13 am

    @ WishICouldDance — If Snooki does deliver the baby in the traditional manner, I’m sure she’ll have more drugs on board than Keith Richards back in 1972. But she is so tiny, I would imagine that if the baby is looking any bigger than 8lbs, her OB is going to want to do a C-section. Of course, Jionni is only about 3 feet tall also, so maybe their baby will be a shrimp.

    Do I think the Snooki we see on TV is the “real” Snooki? Sadly, yes, I think by now it is. Gauging by the first version of Jersey Shore, it wasn’t terribly far to fall, although in think the aspects of her personality that she has “worked on” are the ability to come across as far dumber than she actually is (she was never in the running for a Fulbright Scholarship, but she is much shrewder than she chooses to appear,) a lifestyle of binge-drinking that she would probably have mostly grown out of by now, and a far more casual/cavalier attitude about sex vocally than I think she actually feels. If you look at her JS track record, she has been far less promiscuous than Deena, but I think part of the Snooki Party Girl image is selling the “I’ll have sex with a box of rocks if I’ve had enough to drink” persona. And on JS, even when she backslid and cheated on Jionni while she was drunk, she did so with Vinny who she had had a relationship with briefly in the past.

    As for the aspects of her personality that I believe are real: She does like to party and drink, that much was made clear on season one of JS. But Season One Snooki™ would not have gone around peeing on the dance floor at Karma if she had a UTI, which is more than Season Six Snooki™ can say. She is incredibly entitled, but that is largely because her parents have continued to enable her for so long, and then she became famous for acting like a fool, so I’m not entirely sure there’s any coming back from that. She really does want a husband and kida, although I think she has a romanticized notion of what that life is going to be life that bears very little similarity to the real thing.

    I honestly believe that being on Jersey Shore has ruined Snooki’s life, but the ruination won’t become evident for 5 – 20 years. Unless, of course, she invests her money wisely and once the JS gravy train starts slowing down, withdraws herself from the limelight while that choice is still hers and focuses on redefining herself as a wife and mother (if that’s really what she wants,) goes back to school, or whatever.

  9. 9
    WishICouldDance
    Posted July 21, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Thank you!!! I sincerely appreciate your thoughtful and and intelligent response!!!

    I absolutely LOVE your recaps but have never watched JS or S&J. She is such a Larger than Life character but, it seems to me after reading your note, her life has allowed the character to become real. I would have to agree that the shows have potentially ruined her. I hope not, more for the kid’s sake, but I really wonder if she hasn’t become hooked on this lifestyle.

    Ah well… Hearing about her antics does make me appreciate my own daughter even more!! She may not make millions of dollars a year BUT there are no YouTube clips of her peeing on a dance floor!! Woot!! I’m an awesome parent!!!!

  10. 10
    NikkiHughes
    Posted July 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    I think Snooki and JWoww are actually really sweet girls. I think Snooks will be a fine mom, everything changes when the baby is actually here. I think she’ll love being a mom. Also….the worst thing you can do while pregnant, is watching a birth video. It’s better to not have a visual of what is going to be happening down there! lol

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