Minicap: Stuff We Learned Last Night on RHOC

Recaps

By Jane and Blanche | Wednesday, May 23, 2012 | 7:20 am | 23 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Orange County, Recaps

 Slade?! He doesn’t have insurance!

The night begins with Vicki throwing her daughter under the bus and Alexis sitting in front of a short bus named Tamra.

Vicki cries to Brooks about how horrible her children are even though she’s a perfect mother.

Heather has a lunch date with another of her super successful actress friends (they were in a Rob Schneider show together, remember him? Yeah, we don’t either) and calls her husband ugly. Then goes to the DMV but forgets to bring her laugh track.

Alexis is at a photo shoot for her NEW clothing line. The photographer tries to question her but she reminds him who’s boss. Be careful, don’t forget what happened to Tao and clothing line number one. It went out with her old nose.

Tamra’s two goals in life are to own a bar or a gym. We think free drinks are better than free squats.

Gretchen and Slade are arguing in traffic on their way to therapy. Slade doesn’t understand why Gretchen doesn’t want to pay for everything- doesn’t she understand that he says it will be handled because he will handle it? Who can argue with that logic? Not Gretchen.

Alexis wants to know why everyone can’t just get along and Tamra gets stuck with the check. Alexis just wants to be respected behind her back.

Coming up: Geography lesson- Alexis teaches us that Costa Rica has moved to Mexico. Way to start earning that respect!
Check out Flipit’s ReDub of RHOC’s Coming Next Week Preview below.

Tune in for our recap where we learn the answers to society’s most intriguing questions such as can we really trust people who have boobs bigger than their heads?

 

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We grew up on the prairie; Blanche is older and became blind by her teenage years... Jane is the adorable younger sister, known as "half -pint." Ok, so that's not true but we were raised in Texas, so kinda close.

We're all grown up now and are official card-carrying members of the Asshole Social Society, it's kinda like an exclusive country club, but for snarky  people who have no money, and would rather stay home talking to the tv than to other people.

Growing up we fought like crazy but only during the commercials... Now we're sisters that love and respect each other, only on the 8's tho (kinda like the weather channel...)

We love all reality tv and meat products.

We will try to make you laugh but a majority of the time we just make ourselves laugh so you may get a raw deal.

People love us! At least to our face they do, which is proper southern etiquette .

23 Comments

  1. 1
    Toad
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 8:18 am

    OK how much longer is Vicki going to drag this out?? Its been 2 episodes. Your daughter is happy now shut up about it! Vickie is by FAR the most unlikeable character on the show for me! Looking forward to the full recap!

  2. 2
    Tracy
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 9:38 am

    I started clapping when Heather tells an emotional, crying and very possibly drunk Vicki to “get over it ”
    In The previews for next week. Go Heather! Shut that beaver face up.

  3. 3
    NikkiHughes
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 10:56 am

    This is one of the funniest mini-caps I’ve ever read. For some reason in my head, I was reading through as The Honey Badger. :D

  4. 4
    MissyV110
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Oooooh, Nikki, I’ll read ALL the recaps in Honey Badger style now. Coolness.

    GREAT mini recap. this site is utterly, wittily, hilarious. thanks……

  5. 5
    LAC LAC
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Thank you!!

    Things I learned: Even Vicki’s face bumps are twitchy. And she has the maturity of a 16 year old. (“OMG, why can’t Brianna think of ME first? It’s not fairrrrrrrrrr!!!!”)

    Alexis’s brain is like tits on a boar

    That a trip to the DMV is always better with Chanel

    That whatever is going on with Gretchen’s teeth, it is making her smarter about Slade

    That vajajay airing better not be a class in Tamra’s studio. It looks painful.

  6. 6
    Can'tStopWatching
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Seriously, what is up with Vicki’s face?

  7. 7
    featherhead
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Is it any wonder that the vajayjay airess was voted most popular in high school?

  8. 8
    Delia
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Brooks is definitely with Vicki for her money. Looks – nope, personality – nope, selflessness – nope, it’s has to be the money.

  9. 9
    maryedith
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    @Can’tStopWatching — glad to know I’m not the only one kind of obsessing about that.

  10. 10
    maryedith
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    I googled facial swelling and acne and one of the possibilities was — ANTHRAX. If only!

  11. 11
    maryedith
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    In Brooks’s daily affirmation letters! It all comes clear now!

  12. 12
    lindaw205
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Which night does OC air?

  13. 13
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    Linda. Tuesday, but there are repeats during the week. “See your local listings.”

    If Brooks and Icky met during “industry” conferences, what was his job at the time?

  14. 14
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    Brooks is the type of guy you see on the Dateline specials about women who get swindled out of their life savings. If all Vicki wanted was her love tank filled, why couldn’t she pay a male prostitute? It would be cheaper.

    Now with Donn out of the way, Terry is the best husband on any of these shows.

  15. 15
    labowner
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    Not sure if it was on here or another site, but didn’t someone mention they believe Vicki and crew might be alkies because of how much they drink. Alcohol can take an ugly toll on your face no?

  16. 16
    labowner
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Maryedith maybe that is what Brooks is filling Vicki’s love tank with.

  17. 17
    Too-Old-To-Care
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    I love, love, love Terry. Smart, funny, supportive, and self-confident. It’s nice to see a genuine man who doesn’t feel a need to flaunt his muscles, money or power to get attention.

    It was so sweet how emotional he got when Heather took his name.

  18. 18
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    I thought I heard Briana say that Vicki had an “emotional affair” with Brooks even while she was married to Donn, and she saw the emails that proved it. I don’t remember Vicki denying it, either. Ick – I sure HOPE Donn gets spousal support!!

  19. 19
    lindaw205
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    Thank you for the info Too-Old-To-Care. I had stopped watching any of the househo’s but for some reason the OC bunch keeps pulling me back in. They’re just so trashy and I’m ashamed to say I like to watch these poor ass cootches scramble around trying to make us think they have something.

    If I was the judge I would definitely award Donn spousal support and lots of it. He’s earned it.

  20. 20
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    That picture of Vicki is taking the easy route to get laughs…I thought you were better than this J&B. but I am glad that you are. That picture is amazeballs

  21. 21
    maryedith
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    Ooohh, I don’t know about suing for alimony because of emotional affairs. If you can keep it in your pants you should be able to keep your money too. Otherwise anyone could sue over anything.

  22. 22
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    @Classy Drunk we thought it was pretty funny too. And hel, if it’s good enough for Bravotv.com… ;)

  23. 23
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    @NikkiHughes and @MissyV110 you guys are brilliant!

    I’m so going to NikkiMissy everything I read from now on!

    Thanks!

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