Tonight, on Teen Mom, there were no screaming tantrums except from the babies and that’s very confusing for everyone, I’m sure. I mean, Farrah gave us a few bitchy “Mich-aellll”s and also gave a very teenage argument about moving to California, but man… even Butch kept it together. Even April was pleasant. Note to ‘Teen Mom on MTV’: Don’t shoot around the holidays. It seems to mellow everyone out. Even Amber, who I hope is on this show to present what not to do, was almost sort of okay this week. Well, no she wasn’t. But she was looking like her meds were not being as abused as usual.
Maci’s worried that Bentley needs to start spending time with other kids, so she and Kyle roll him up to a day care so he can start preschool. They’re working on getting him in and getting him acclimated, and a few other kids are crawling on Kyle. He must be one of those people that children love. Bentley starts to have a separation anxiety tantrum and Maci actually handles it well. Kyle goes in to soothe him, and Maci’s heart swells over how great of a father Kyle would be. She starts to broach the subject with him, and by ‘broach the subject,’ I mean that she tells him that he definitely wants a baby of his own, and he wants it now, but he’s just scerr’d. Deep down, Maci knows it’s not the time to have her next baby, but it makes sense that it’s hitting her to have another one.
She’s really pushing this, and talking to all of her supports systems – her boyfriend, her mom, her friends. She’s looking for someone to agree with her, but it’s not happening. People are totally empathetic, and they listen to her, but they are not quite ready to tell her that it’s an exciting and healthy life choice to have a baby with her boyfriend of less than a year. Even though she knows he wants to, and he just says he doesn’t because he’s afraid. Bentley’s more independent, and she wants her babies to be close in age… she gets it and she even admits it. It’s the smart, honest Maci we saw in her 16 & Pregnant episode, when she listened to people and was a natural. Really, Kyle wants a baby puppy or a baby truck, which is the kind of baby Bentley says he wants.
Amber has set up a very cute room for Leah, and for some reason the soundtrack on Amber’s segments was like, forceful. Okay, I get it… it’s a happy reunion, a new start, an Away We Go moment. But it’s Amber, so it’s not, and there’s going to be some kind of rage-fueled melt-down any minute. This is especially true because what little we see of The Overweight Lover Heavy G is him mooning around about how he thinks Amber has learned, and things might work out now. Yeah, Amber’s learned. And I’ll never eat another Milk Dud again. Home girl love a Milk Dud, so these two aren’t even close to being done with their abusive manipulation of one another. She gets Leah back, and then makes plans for Gary’s mom to keep Leah for the weekend. I seriously hope this is because they’re trying to make transition easier on the baby, but who am I kidding? Amber acts like a fun aunt with this child – part time, and all play time.
Plus, she promptly turns around and makes plans for a date with a high school friend, Clinton. I like to imagine that Amber put Single Ladies on repeat while she was getting ready for her date at a fancy restaurant that Gary would never consider taking her to. Amber goes on Date Night with Clinton, who wears a red tie with his black shirt, not realizing that he just busted himself out as a major World of Warcraft playa. LEROY JENKINS! I don’t even really know what that means. I’m a poser. Sorry. Anyways, Clinton has a 14 month old daughter, and after these two mumble their way through dinner, and decide how precious play dates will be, they seal their blossoming romance with a kiss. Clinton, you done just made a deal with the devil, son. Leroy Jenkins? Is that right?
Tyler’s also having some separation anxiety, since he’s done with school and Caitlynn’s still off to class every day. He starts college in a few weeks, and won’t be so bored then. The big news with Caitlynn and Tyler is that they meet with their adoption counselor, Dawn. They get some new pictures of Carly, but they also get to talk to Dawn about how to approach asking Brandon and Theresa about Carly’s next visit. Carly will be 2 years old, right around the time that Caitlynn and Tyler walk for graduation, and it’ll be right about the time that a second visit with her is due. Dawn suggests that they write a letter to Brandon and Theresa, and send it with the Christmas gifts.
Oh, the Christmas gifts. They love shopping for Carly, and even Butch and April get in on the action. Butch and April are still stuck with the No Contact order, so Tyler takes Butch shopping and Caitlynn takes April . Some interesting family dynamics come up, and I’m looking forward to looking more closely at how each of these family members is learning his or her way through the experience of a semi-open adoption. Kim did make a call to Brandon and Theresa, and it freaked them out, unfortunately. She was probably acting with complete innocence and good intention, but she wanted to find out of they’d consider bringing Carly to graduation. I think she was just excited about everything, and thrilled for things to be going so well for all of the kids – Caitlynn, Tyler, and Carly. She probably got a little carried away and ahead of herself, but this is all new territory for everyone. She’s still Tyler’s mama, and Tyler’s still a kid. Unlike the other parents in this crew, Kim did parent Tyler it seems, and so it’s no surprise she maybe got ahead of them here. She felt terrible but again, everyone is just walking through all of this for the first time. It’s all hard.
Michael and Farrah go out and celebrate Farrah’s own graduation, and Farrah takes it as an opportunity to break the news to him that she is looking to move to somewhere like California or Arizona. She feels that there are more job opportunities. I don’t know what the hell she’s talking about, since there are probably more jobs in Omaha than Phoenix. There are less foreclosures, for sure, but who cares, really. She doesn’t want a job. Farrah is trying to cash in on being a piece of celebrity skin, here. Michael adorably tells her that moving across the country and away from your family is not a cake in a walk. No. Lie. I lived in a borrowed fifth wheel trailer for three months. Then again, I didn’t have a show on MTV.
Farrah snits and snots instead of answering her parents’ questions like an adult and then she heads off to California, which given Ashley on’ Real Housewives of New Jersey, is apparently a dream destination for people who show their intense bratitudes on reality shows. I wonder what would happen if Farrah and Ashley had to live together. And it was filmed. And Dr. Drew stops by everyday like that one daytime show, what was it? Starting Over. They could be in the Starting Over house together, and my friends, it would be awesome. Farrah totally misses her parents’ point about how when families are close, one person’s actions affect everyone. She’s too busy being pissed at them for living in Iowa, and not Florida. Farrah turns out to not love California, and California rejoices that it will live without one more reality star trying to convert her brief moment of fame into a talk show.
Side note: That Stride commercial with Shaun White freaks me out. I think it’s Carrot Top every time, and Carrot Top irrationally weirds me out, even though I totally have well-documented thing for big red headed dudes, and for once, I’m not even kidding.
Any thoughts?? I don’t think Bentley’s Kyle’s child, but I do think Maci sees exactly where she is in life and figures she can make the most of it. She’s got a guy with natural paternal instincts and a baby who’s growing up. She’s chosen that family is first, regardless of sacrifices in her education, and I think she feels like she might as well have some more babies and get on with her commitment to being a full time mama. I can’t wait to learn more about Clinton, and I can’t wait to see Amber do what Amber does. She’s going to act super fake happy, do a bucket of drugs, and then whig out on Gary. Then she’ll whine to Clinton, then she’ll leave him for Gary. Annnnd repeat, for life, until Gary quits making it rain at the titty bars in Anderson, IN and falls for a girl who doesn’t abuse him. Man, I really wanted to see more of Club Gar-Bear, shaking it like a Polaroid picture. Oh well. Maybe next time.
Check out last week’s recap here while you wait for the new one!