Minicap: Teen Mom. Taking It Up a Notch

Teen Mom

By SunnySideup | Wednesday, August 24, 2011 | 10:00 am | 20 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps, Teen Mom


TM 1 LOGOTonight, on Teen Mom, there were no screaming tantrums except from the babies and that’s very confusing for everyone, I’m sure.  I mean, Farrah gave us a few bitchy “Mich-aellll”s and also gave a very teenage argument about moving to California, but man… even Butch kept it together.  Even April was pleasant.  Note to ‘Teen Mom on MTV’: Don’t shoot around the holidays.  It seems to mellow everyone out.  Even Amber, who I hope is on this show to present what not to do, was almost sort of okay this week.  Well, no she wasn’t.  But she was looking like her meds were not being as abused as usual.

Maci

Maci’s worried that Bentley needs to start spending time with other kids, so she and Kyle roll him up to a day care so he can start preschool.  They’re working on getting him in and getting him acclimated, and a few other kids are crawling on Kyle.  He must be one of those people that children love.  Bentley starts to have a separation anxiety tantrum and Maci actually handles it well.  Kyle goes in to soothe him, and Maci’s heart swells over how great of a father Kyle would be.  She starts to broach the subject with him, and by ‘broach the subject,’ I mean that she tells him that he definitely wants a baby of his own, and he wants it now, but he’s just scerr’d.  Deep down, Maci knows it’s not the time to have her next baby, but it makes sense that it’s hitting her to have another one.

She’s really pushing this, and talking to all of her supports systems – her boyfriend, her mom, her friends.  She’s looking for someone to agree with her, but it’s not happening.  People are totally empathetic, and they listen to her, but they are not quite ready to tell her that it’s an exciting and healthy life choice to have a baby with her boyfriend of less than a year.  Even though she knows he wants to, and he just says he doesn’t because he’s afraid.  Bentley’s more independent, and she wants her babies to be close in age… she gets it and she even admits it.  It’s the smart, honest Maci we saw in her 16 & Pregnant episode, when she listened to people and was a natural.  Really, Kyle wants a baby puppy or a baby truck, which is the kind of baby Bentley says he wants.

Amber

Amber has set up a very cute room for Leah, and for some reason the soundtrack on Amber’s segments was like, forceful.  Okay, I get it… it’s a happy reunion, a new start, an Away We Go moment.  But it’s Amber, so it’s not, and there’s going to be some kind of rage-fueled melt-down any minute.   This is especially true because what little we see of The Overweight Lover Heavy G is him mooning around about how he thinks Amber has learned, and things might work out now.  Yeah, Amber’s learned.  And I’ll never eat another Milk Dud again.  Home girl love a Milk Dud, so these two aren’t even close to being done with their abusive manipulation of one another.  She gets Leah back, and then makes plans for Gary’s mom to keep Leah for the weekend.  I seriously hope this is because they’re trying to make transition easier on the baby, but who am I kidding?  Amber acts like a fun aunt with this child – part time, and all play time.

Plus, she promptly turns around and makes plans for a date with a high school friend, Clinton.  I like to imagine that Amber put Single Ladies on repeat while she was getting ready for her date at a fancy restaurant that Gary would never consider taking her to.  Amber goes on Date Night with Clinton, who wears a red tie with his black shirt, not realizing that he just busted himself out as a major World of Warcraft playa.  LEROY JENKINS!  I don’t even really know what that means.  I’m a poser.  Sorry.  Anyways, Clinton has a 14 month old daughter, and after these two mumble their way through dinner, and decide how precious play dates will be, they seal their blossoming romance with a kiss.  Clinton, you done just made a deal with the devil, son.  Leroy Jenkins?  Is that right?

Caitlynn

Tyler’s also having some separation anxiety, since he’s done with school and Caitlynn’s still off to class every day.  He starts college in a few weeks, and won’t be so bored then.  The big news with Caitlynn and Tyler is that they meet with their adoption counselor, Dawn.  They get some new pictures of Carly, but they also get to talk to Dawn about how to approach asking Brandon and Theresa about Carly’s next visit.  Carly will be 2 years old, right around the time that Caitlynn and Tyler walk for graduation, and it’ll be right about the time that a second visit with her is due.  Dawn suggests that they write a letter to Brandon and Theresa, and send it with the Christmas gifts.

Oh, the Christmas gifts.  They love shopping for Carly, and even Butch and April get in on the action.  Butch and April are still stuck with the No Contact order, so Tyler takes Butch shopping and Caitlynn takes April .  Some interesting family dynamics come up, and I’m looking forward to looking more closely at how each of these family members is learning his or her way through the experience of a semi-open adoption.  Kim did make a call to Brandon and Theresa, and it freaked them out, unfortunately.  She was probably acting with complete innocence and good intention, but she wanted to find out of they’d consider bringing Carly to graduation.  I think she was just excited about everything, and thrilled for things to be going so well for all of the kids – Caitlynn, Tyler, and Carly.  She probably got a little carried away and ahead of herself, but this is all new territory for everyone.  She’s still Tyler’s mama, and Tyler’s still a kid.  Unlike the other parents in this crew, Kim did parent Tyler it seems, and so it’s no surprise she maybe got ahead of them here.  She felt terrible but again, everyone is just walking through all of this for the first time.  It’s all hard.

Farrah

Michael and Farrah go out and celebrate Farrah’s own graduation, and Farrah takes it as an opportunity to break the news to him that she is looking to move to somewhere like California or Arizona.  She feels that there are more job opportunities.  I don’t know what the hell she’s talking about, since there are probably more jobs in Omaha than Phoenix.  There are less foreclosures, for sure, but who cares, really.  She doesn’t want a job.  Farrah is trying to cash in on being a piece of celebrity skin, here.  Michael adorably tells her that moving across the country and away from your family is not a cake in a walk.  No. Lie. I lived in a borrowed fifth wheel trailer for three months.  Then again, I didn’t have a show on MTV.

Farrah snits and snots instead of answering her parents’ questions like an adult and then she heads off to California, which given Ashley on’ Real Housewives of New Jersey, is apparently a dream destination for people who show their intense bratitudes on reality shows.  I wonder what would happen if Farrah and Ashley had to live together.  And it was filmed.  And Dr. Drew stops by everyday like that one daytime show, what was it?  Starting Over.  They could be in the Starting Over house together, and my friends, it would be awesome.   Farrah totally misses her parents’ point about how when families are close, one person’s actions affect everyone.  She’s too busy being pissed at them for living in Iowa, and not Florida.  Farrah turns out to not love California, and California rejoices that it will live without one more reality star trying to convert her brief moment of fame into a talk show.

Side note: That Stride commercial with Shaun White freaks me out.  I think it’s Carrot Top every time, and Carrot Top irrationally weirds me out, even though I totally have well-documented thing for big red headed dudes, and for once, I’m not even kidding.

Any thoughts??  I don’t think Bentley’s Kyle’s child, but I do think Maci sees exactly where she is in life and figures she can make the most of it.  She’s got a guy with natural paternal instincts and a baby who’s growing up.  She’s chosen that family is first, regardless of sacrifices in her education, and I think she feels like she might as well have some more babies and get on with her commitment to being a full time mama.  I can’t wait to learn more about Clinton, and I can’t wait to see Amber do what Amber does.  She’s going to act super fake happy, do a bucket of drugs, and then whig out on Gary.  Then she’ll whine to Clinton, then she’ll leave him for Gary.  Annnnd repeat, for life, until Gary quits making it rain at the titty bars in Anderson, IN and falls for a girl who doesn’t abuse him.  Man, I really wanted to see more of Club Gar-Bear, shaking it like a Polaroid picture.  Oh well.  Maybe next time.

Check out last week’s recap here while you wait for the new one!

 

I'm Sunni Sideup, and I grew up in Southern Illinois nowhere near Chicago, and you know what Matt Paxton from 'Hoarders said about girls from So Ill?  "I wouldn't mess with a girl from Southern Illinois; they'll knock your teeth out."  Now I live in Tucson, Arizona and this town is my jam.  I love it.

I have no professional writing experience, but I was the Managing Editor of an All-American high school newspaper about a billion years ago.  Luckily, when you're recapping MTV shows, the jokes write themselves.      

20 Comments

  1. 1
    bananas
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 11:17 am

    Poor Anderson Indiana. Here is a little town that no one knew before now and what happens? Amber makes it famous for the worst reason possible. Man what a train wreck these kids are. I do hope they show Amber’s giant awful tattoo that makes leah look like cartman from south park.

    Caitlyn and Tyler poor things. Open adoption is so hard. It constantly like walking on egg shells and it’s even worse when others try to but in.

    Maci… I want to punch her in her giant fire crotch. This pisses me off to no end that she whines that she can’t go to school because she has to take care of Bently but she wants another baby because Bently is at Ryan’s half the week. Just own it you don’t want to go to school. Also I wish they would caption Kyle when he talks

  2. 2
    hlesczyn
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 11:27 am

    I think Farrah is pretty and I think Farrah thinks Farrah is pretty and she pretty much uses the pretty to bulldoze her way through everything. Therefore, I LOVED when the realtor who was driving Farrah around California was georgeous. It should have made Farrah understand that “teen mom” is not “the hills” and moving to California (regarless of the pretty) is going to be a disaster.

  3. 3
    Chicken Lips
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 11:30 am

    Farrah is a giant spoiled brat. That is all.

  4. 4
    hlesczyn
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Leah is adorable – she looks like a china doll. It really broke my heart when the social worker or whoever brought her to Amber and Leah looked scared to death. Leah was ofcourse sidetracked by the toys and the rocking horse but oh my what a sad situation. Of all the kids on this program – my heart just breaks for Leah. And, I hate to say it because I have never been through a teen pregnancy or an adoption but so so so so so many people would have loved to adopt Leah – again, she is adorable. Buth and April are so fucked up. They are so focused on Carly. I wonder if those two scum of the earth adults ever bought their own kids a toy. UGH. How can you be so concerned with your grandchild who god willing you will never meet and not give two shits about your own children.

  5. 5
    hlesczyn
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 11:33 am

    @chickenlips – Agreed agreed and agreed two billion percent. Could not have said it better if I tried!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. 6
    considerthis
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 11:58 am

    Somebody NEEDS to INSIST that Mommy Dearest (Debra) be forced to wear mascara. Good God that woman scares the shit out of me when au natural.

    I now despise Maci more than Amber or Farrah. She is a spoiled fucking brat. Who is footing the bill for her to go to school and then drop 1/2 her courses? Who is paying for her to live in a nice house and have Bentley sporting an Ed Hardy jacket (tottaly stupid btw)? Who is footing the bill for day care? Of course she wants to have another baby as she has never had to do ANYTHING or experience any worry with her first baby. Last time I checked neither Kyle or Maci are employed??

  7. 7
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    How hard is it to schedule class around your parenting schedule? I know they have tues thurs or monday wed classes. Those are the days you go to class and do your home work. WTH are you doing on the days when you don’t have Bentley?!?!?!

    This hurts me because I used to like Maci the most. Well right after Catelynn and Tyler.

  8. 8
    Muffy McWrinklebottom
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    I too, used to love Maci and now can’t even stomach her. What happened to the responsible, mature side of her? She was the best mom at one point and now is just as stupid and unaware of how life REALLY works. Seriously, this show is supposed to document the struggles of teen mom’s when really, NONE of these girls are going through the struggles of a normal teen parent. Even Caitlynn, who is my new favorite, was able to get an apartment without having a job (meaning she obviously had a wad of cash to put down from her MTV paycheck). I love watching a good train wreck just as much as the next person, but it might be time to stop watching……….after the season ends of course.

    Note: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! When did Butch cut his mullet off? And seriously, he was like the Billy Ray Cyrus of Michigan. He should’ve had to have gotten permission from MTV or something before he got rid of that glorious fashion symbol!

  9. 9
    Libithina
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    I adore your fake show. I would absolutely watch that. Now if we could somehow get Omarosa involved…

  10. 10
    bananas
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    I wonder what they are paying Butch and April to do the show? Does Tyler have male friends?

  11. 11
    CarolineJane
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    @considerthis: who employs Maci and pays the bills? MTV of course. Amber testified that in 2010 she made $140,000 per 6 month contract.

    This is becoming a major problem with the show, in my opinion. The girls are clearly making mad bank, and they probably should be for airing their dirty laundry as they are, but at the same time MTV seems to want to preserve the girls’ images as impoverished single teen moms. We’re left in a kind of weird place where the girls complain about having no money yet live in nicer places and work less than you’d expect young single moms to, and make kind of odd life choices (getting implants for a “modelling career”, giving up school to be a housewife for an unemployed boyfriend etc.)

  12. 12
    Dtc
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    I seriously am sick of Maci as well. First she moves for a guy then moves back “for school, drops all her classes and just wants to sit on her ass at home all day playing with her baby and bentley. All that eratic behavior was annoying enough but what really bothers me is that she keeps acting like she is so stressed out and has no time for anything like school yet she wants another baby because she’s bored and then to top it off she still enrolls bentley in day care…WTF?? How about you go to school while Bentley is in day care, idiot! She gives gingers a bad name. Oh, and should Ryan have been included in Bentley’s first day at day care? Just a thought. Maci’s need to make Kyle play the rold of daddy to Bentley is irritating too. That’s all.

  13. 13
    bananas
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    I think Ryan is really trying. It looks like n the next episode Ryan lets maci know that his Job is hiring if Kyle is interested. You can’t get much more grown up than that.

  14. 14
    emilyhartly
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    love your fake show idea but how DARE you insult Assley? SHE didn’t have a kid at 19!!!

  15. 15
    Liz
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    @Dtc – I noticed that too! One week, she’s far too busy to go to school, even when Bentley’s not around. The next week, she’s so bored when Bentley’s not around, she needs another kid. Grrr.

    I also agree with everyone else that Maci annoys the shiz out of me now, and I think it’s largely because I used to like her so much.

  16. 16
    Schmoopy
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Does anyone else think that Debra looks like E.T. sans make-up

  17. 17
    Dtc
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    @Liz…I’m pretty sure that’s the reason she annoys the hell outta me too. She used to be my favorite and it pisses me off that I have to actually like Farrah more than her (not that I like Farrah).

    @Schmoopy, YES!! I knew she reminded me of someone. There was a part in ET where he put on a blond wig…yep, ET is a dead ringer for Debra. Now I have to go find a screen capture of that ET scene.

  18. 18
    saffie
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Leroy Jenkins was a very correct name to toss out there; I know because my husband and his friends are serious DDO players and one night I just HAD to find out what this Leroy Jenkins stuff was about and so I YouTubed it. And now every time I think about doing something stupid without giving it much advanced thought I find myself yelling in my mind “LEEEEROOOOYYY AH-JENKINSSSSS!” Well, at least I got chicken.

  19. 19
    Sahara
    Posted August 24, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    Best mini recap yet, Sunny! LOL @ Leroy Jenkins (self-affirmed WoW player…/shame)

    Haha bananas, me too about the captioning. I couldn’t understand a word of what Kyle and his friend were saying in that diner!

  20. 20
    Marissa Barnes
    Posted August 26, 2011 at 1:06 am

    Agreed about the captioning Kyle, I can’t understand him.

    Not happy with Maci, but I get that when your baby grows up you miss having one. But she didn’t need to run around whining she’s bored when she dropped her classes. She also needs to let Ryan be a Dad, not have Kyle be the replacement Dad.

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