Minicap: The Taste: All you need is a mouthful

The Taste

By eyediosmio | Wednesday, January 23, 2013 | 1:47 pm | 20 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, The Taste

Hey Gasmii!   Let me start this minicap off by saying that I just watched four people eat for two hours straight.  And they didn’t even share!  Those selfish bastards.

In the interest of full disclosure I feel compelled to share with you that I have a strange crush on Anthony Bourdain, he of the numerous traveling/foodie shows on TV.  I should also tell you that he is a fantastic writer, and if you haven’t read any of his books yet, get yourself to a bookstore (you know that place where they sell words on sheets of paper all glued together) or just download one of his books, I guarantee you’ll laugh and then feel compelled to daydream about drinking a scotch and smoking a cigarette with him in a random dive bar.  Wait, just me?  Okay then.

Every episode of No Reservations and The Layover.  Hence, why we have the same spirit animal:  The drunk jackelope.

Anyway, as I previously stated this premiere was TWO HOURS LONG!  So as you can imagine, a full recap is going to take me a little bit of time.  But I can give you an amuse bouche of the amuse douche(s) they were subjected to.

Our hosts are the esteemed Anthony Bourdain, Nigella Lawson, Brian Malarkey and Ludo Lefebvre. 

Nigella Lawson

Ladies, this is considered “plus sized.” (smh) Jessica Rabbit is jealous right now the way she is wearing that red dress.  Delicioso! 

 

Ludo Lefebvre:

He will cut you with his words!  (If you can understand what he is saying) 

  Brian Malarkey, doing his best “The Bachelor” impression.

Sorry, dude.  That’s my show.  

I was really expecting to totally hate this show.  I thought to myself, Tony, Tony, Tony.  How could you sell out like this?  You!  Of  all people!  I was ready to be pissed off at this concept, but then they won me over.

The competition goes like this:  They have home cooks and real chefs come into the studio.  These cooks/chefs are given one hour to prepare a signature dish, and then present that dish in one bite.  

The judges “taste” the bite, then decide whether or not they want to have this person on their team by discreetly hitting a yes/no button hidden under their table.  At that point, there is a reveal and a brief interaction with the cook/chef who made the dish.

After each chef chooses four people to be on their team, the competition begins.  Then, the teams make a dish and the chefs have a blind tasting to choose who stays and who goes.  That’s when you realize they may be eliminating their own team members!!!!! 

This concept could have been dull, but I will tell you what sold it for me (besides Nigella’s ample bosom and alabaster skin): the judge’s authenticity interacting with the potential contestants.  The judges, for the most part, gave each chef/cook great constructive criticism and/or encouragement:  more citrus, more complexity, use chicken thighs not breast (hee!  breast).  Only behind their backs did the real insults fly:  “Being the manager of a bakery does not make you a chef or a cook, it makes you #@%king delusional!”   Thanks Tony, for keeping it real. 

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eyediosmio

I'm a part time writer, full time wife and Doberman wrangler in steamy South Florida.  I try to keep my sanity by watching loads of reality tv so I can feel better about myself.  It's a lazy way to maintain my moral compass, but I'm too lazy to drive to church every Sunday. 

20 Comments

  1. 1
    ConfusedinCanada
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    I love Anthony Bourdain and you’re so right if she’s considered plus size wow. She’s stunning. I wasn’t going to watch this show but now might have to or I can just read your delightful recaps. I hope the full recap will be full of wit, wisdom and snark :-)

  2. 2
    Miss Molly
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Ludo is a fuckfaced douche.

  3. 3
    Pyper
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    I also ( heart) Bourdain… Malarky is being the Simon Cowell of this show, wasn’t he on Top Chef or something..? I am kinda digging Pepe Lepu… I think Nigella is the bomb

  4. 4
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    I liked it too!
    Had to cut it short because of Face Off, but the first hour was entertaining, and I love that they could accidentally eliminate someone from their own team.
    I wonder if that will really happen too much, since people generally cook with a signature and once you learn to recognize it, you can kind of tell whose food is whose without seeing them.
    But I’m excited for the show and the recaps!

    Also, the judges are so attractive…Ludo is like a desirable Pepe le Pew and Nigella is perfect in every way, and then Anthony Bourdain is Anthony Bourdain.

    Mallarkey had to be the one to mess it up though with his frosted hair and veneers.

    Wish they could have gotten Curtis Stone instead. Or John Besh. Or Michael Chernow. Or Hughnibrow!! That would have been yes and amen…would have had to do my church dance.

  5. 5
    LAC LAC
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    Thank your for the recap duties on this show! I am with you on the Bourdain love. His books are just a pleasure to read and he would be a hoot to hang out with. He had hinted in his last book that his disdain for selling out was being challenged. The premise of the competition is intriguing. And it was fun watching some of the douchebag chefs getting their walking papers.

    Nigella – sigh, one of my girl crushes. Only in Maxim magazine marinated moronland is that a plus figure. I practice tasting food like her just to see if I can get the sexy way she does it.

    Ludo – le asshole sometimes. But he is easy on the eyes, if not zee ears.

    Malarky – like I said on Facebook, he is Madame puppet short of an act. I blame this on the Ryan Seacrest syndrome. First, you find some hair gel, next you are whitening your teeth a blinding white, and then eventually, you are just a stranger visiting your own body. The before and after pictures of him must be a hoot.

  6. 6
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    I checked this out last night and was pleasantly surprised. I like the whole concept of judging the food solely by taste. If the food doesn’t taste good, there is no point in celebrating or rewarding it. I’m loving how many home cooks are wooping the pro’s asses. Could be awesome.

    Ludo is like a Pomeranian, cute but tempermental.

    Malarkey is a Cali seafood guy. Kind of limiting.
    (Yes, he was on Top Chef, but owns five restaurants, so he has some cred)

    Nigella can cook her luscious ass off and I would switch teams for her.

    Tony…….le sigh. I so love that mouthy bastard. I want to get thrashed with him, climb him like a tree, ride every branch, then lay around smoking and bitching together. I can dream.

  7. 7
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    @eyediosmio Your mini cap sold me. I will have to catch it, since Top Chef is sailing down the Blavo river.

  8. 8
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    @TVKimmy FTW – “I want to get thrashed with [Tony], climb him like a tree, ride every branch, then lay around smoking and bitching together.” – Take me along with you – hey, I can dream, too!

    I was prepared to brand Ludo as just an asshole, too, until he offered one teary eyed girl a job and almost broke down over another one. I think he’s gruff just in order to hide his soft, white underbelly.

    Have to agree that the judges (sans Malarky) are some of the best I’ve seen on a panel show.

    Anyone else find the guy who works in the shit plant’s choice of dish freaking HI-larious?!!

  9. 9
    WaffleBoy
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    As long as we’re listing Brian Malarkey’s accomplishments, let’s not forget that he catered a pool party on Real Housewives of Orange County. God he’s horrible. I remember him from Top Chef, when he told us that trout wasn’t seafood.

  10. 10
    mom2redheads
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:05 am

    I LOVE this show. When I saw it was a 2 hour premiere, I thought…WHAT?, how can we watch people eat food for 2 hours, but it was so good. I like Ludo, but definitely would appreciate subtitles. I don’t like to have to listen that hard at night. I want to relax. :) Nothing left to say about Nigella as she is just a goddess, Malarkey pretty much lives up to his name in my book, and Bourdain is my husband’s man crush so I should maybe be jealous of him.

    Can’t wait to read the full recap!

  11. 11
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:20 am

    @S-Natch ~ Sure, why not?! He’s man enough for both of us. Maybe if we get him drunk enough we can get a running expletive laden commentary for an episode of T&T. You know, after the tree riding. ;)

  12. 12
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:33 am

    Hey everyone! Thanks for all the comments, let’s discuss.

    I don’t hate Ludo at all, I think he can obnoxious but in the way a really talented person can be. In that, he can actually back it up. I also think he speaks before he thinks, and he took Nigella’s chiding pretty well, too. So he’s acceptable. And yes, he practically melted when that cooking instructor wept, so cute.

    Nigella’s been in the news lately because she said the network wanted to airbrush her tummy, to that I say WHAT TUMMY? If you wanna see a tummy, I have a tummy. And I worked damn hard to get it, thank you very much! Being this overweight takes dedication, so ummm, don’t put anyone in that category, you have to EARN IT. Nigella is slacking, in that case.

    And dude, Malarkey I did NOT recognize at all. I had to do some serious research to make sure he was who I thought he was, because he has really made some physical changes. I mean, he’s cute in a Ricky Schroeder way, but why do men have to botox and bleach, etc. Does he want to be a Chef, or the next Bachelor? Hopefully he becomes a little more authentic in the next few shows.

    And you guys, Tony is just the best isn’t he? And the way this show is going, I really don’t see it as “selling out” if it the focus is really on the construction of good food, and educating the public how to cook well – I think they can accomplish a lot. Which I see lacking in a lot of these cooking shows. It’s all about the “freak” factor (a blind chef! A transgendered clown chef!)

    Working hard on that recap, in the future I may be live tweeting, too. I’ll keep you guys up to date! I am seriously excited about this show guys!

  13. 13
    TVKimmy TVKimmy
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:36 am

    I forgot! Yes S-Natch, I thought the turd on a spoon from the crap-wrangler was hysterical!

  14. 14
    eyediosmio eyediosmio
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 6:41 am

    @S-Natch – Shit-plant – classic!

    You know they were so NICE to him too! Even though they all hated the food, they gave him really great advice (use thigh meat) and told him to keep practicing.

    But I could have done without that clip from the shit plant. So gross!

    @mom2redheads: Bourdain is my husband’s man crush, too! He just loves the way the guy cooks/writes, etc. We’re both HUGE Tony fans.

  15. 15
    CrazyTrain
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 9:25 am

    This ep. was so boring. No suspense – you knew they were going to say no to everyone. Did they even get all of their teams? Hopefully the actual competition will be more exciting. They really need to caption Ludo, can’t understand much pf what he is saying.

  16. 16
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 11:37 am

    I went and caught both episodes and thought it was great–it’s sort of like the first season of the Voice–just with food and better judges. I do love that they don’t try to annihilate anybody with snark (that’s your job) and gave the poo chicken shit guy helpful hints. So far, I’m enjoying the fact, that unlike Top Chef, they’re not cramming product placement down our throats. Love that Marlarkey has the perfect last name. He really has gone all Hollywood since Top Chef.

  17. 17
    thatdariamom1332
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 10:03 am

    This is basically “The Voice” , but with food.

  18. 18
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 11:03 am

    @TVKimmy – Excellent! I’ll bring the HoHo’s – oh, wait, that’s us!! ;)

  19. 19
    Shaggyone
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 6:16 pm

    Dumbest show ever!

  20. 20
    mere2142
    Posted January 29, 2013 at 9:19 am

    I hated this show….so boring. I’m glad I wasn’t the only one. But I’ll still read the recaps and comments because they always prove to be way more entertaining then the actual show!

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