Hey Gasmii! Let me start this minicap off by saying that I just watched four people eat for two hours straight. And they didn’t even share! Those selfish bastards.
In the interest of full disclosure I feel compelled to share with you that I have a strange crush on Anthony Bourdain, he of the numerous traveling/foodie shows on TV. I should also tell you that he is a fantastic writer, and if you haven’t read any of his books yet, get yourself to a bookstore (you know that place where they sell words on sheets of paper all glued together) or just download one of his books, I guarantee you’ll laugh and then feel compelled to daydream about drinking a scotch and smoking a cigarette with him in a random dive bar. Wait, just me? Okay then.
Every episode of No Reservations and The Layover. Hence, why we have the same spirit animal: The drunk jackelope.
Anyway, as I previously stated this premiere was TWO HOURS LONG! So as you can imagine, a full recap is going to take me a little bit of time. But I can give you an amuse bouche of the amuse douche(s) they were subjected to.
Our hosts are the esteemed Anthony Bourdain, Nigella Lawson, Brian Malarkey and Ludo Lefebvre.
Ladies, this is considered “plus sized.” (smh) Jessica Rabbit is jealous right now the way she is wearing that red dress. Delicioso!
He will cut you with his words! (If you can understand what he is saying)
Brian Malarkey, doing his best “The Bachelor” impression.
Sorry, dude. That’s my show.
I was really expecting to totally hate this show. I thought to myself, Tony, Tony, Tony. How could you sell out like this? You! Of all people! I was ready to be pissed off at this concept, but then they won me over.
The competition goes like this: They have home cooks and real chefs come into the studio. These cooks/chefs are given one hour to prepare a signature dish, and then present that dish in one bite.
The judges “taste” the bite, then decide whether or not they want to have this person on their team by discreetly hitting a yes/no button hidden under their table. At that point, there is a reveal and a brief interaction with the cook/chef who made the dish.
After each chef chooses four people to be on their team, the competition begins. Then, the teams make a dish and the chefs have a blind tasting to choose who stays and who goes. That’s when you realize they may be eliminating their own team members!!!!!
This concept could have been dull, but I will tell you what sold it for me (besides Nigella’s ample bosom and alabaster skin): the judge’s authenticity interacting with the potential contestants. The judges, for the most part, gave each chef/cook great constructive criticism and/or encouragement: more citrus, more complexity, use chicken thighs not breast (hee! breast). Only behind their backs did the real insults fly: “Being the manager of a bakery does not make you a chef or a cook, it makes you #@%king delusional!” Thanks Tony, for keeping it real.