MiniCap: The Voice

It’s on to the Final Four:

Let the games begin!

Oh man, there is so much to minicap this episode and so little space! We open on the four judges singing David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” – and appropriately so! The last standing contestant on each team is under a ton of pressure to perform well tonight – after all, this is their last chance at stardom! And not only will they be performing live, but they’ll be performing original songs and duets with their coaches, which America will vote on. Here’s what went down:

The performances are staggered to add some variety: an original song is premiered, then a duet, then another original song, etc. It’s another long show, so hopefully those who sang slow ballads earlier in the show aren’t overshadowed by some of the flashier numbers at the end. As the show goes on, it’s obvious how much affection there is between the contestants and the judges. And the judges’ jobs are done – at this point it’s out of their hands and up to America to decide the winner. The judges have nothing to do but watch the show and collect their paychecks.

In the interest of saving time, let me tell you about the original songs first. Each is meant to be a love song, but if you listen to the lyrics you could swear each was the synopsis of a horror film:

Javier Colon, who usually headlines the show, opens the competition by singing the original song “Stitch by Stitch.” It’s about a man with broken heart being sewn back up. But at least it’s not about different people being sewn together.

Vicci Martinez sings “Afraid to Sleep,” about a lost love who’s freaking her out so much she’s afraid to fall asleep for fear he’ll enter her dreams.

Dia Frampton premieres “Inventing Shadows,” about a person with the superpower to make shadows in places where they possibly can’t exist.

Beverly McClellan sings “Lovesick,” which is pretty much the rock version of Javier’s song. How else is it scary? Trust me, Bev looks like someone you don’t want to mess with during this performance.

While it’s the original songs that America is voting for, the duets are the stand-out performances of the evening. The original songs were written to showcase the contestants’ strengths, but the duets really show off the judges’ talents and add a little fun to the mix. And they pick songs that compliment both their voices. If you decide to fast-forward through this episode, at least watch these:

Dia and Blake sing “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty. They play it up, dressed in suits and sunglasses to pay homage to the Men in Black. Or the Blues Brothers… It’s up for interpretation.

Beverly and Christina sing “Beautiful” by… well, by Christina Aguilera. Why not do what you do best, right?

Javier and Adam sing Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror,” which was… OMG! OMG you guys – Adam is dressed in a suit again!

Vicci and Cee Lo sing “Love Is a Battlefield” by Pat Benetar, who little Vicci has apparently never heard of before, considering Cee Lo had to teach her who Pat Benetar is. They dress as warriors surrounded by child soldiers. Illegal? Yes, but who cares as long as it’s entertaining?

But even with eight performances, there’s plenty of room for more. Pitbull & Neo and Brad Paisley all show up to give live performances. And Katherine McPhee shows up just to talk about herself. Blake is on fire tonight, coming up with the best zingers and managing to hop into just about every other performance. Even with all the stuff going on, Carson manages to cut to Allison in the V-Room more often than ever before, who seems to have popped a Xanax and finally calmed down for a couple of hours.

Yes, all is wonderful in the land of “The Voice,” but all good things must come to an end. Rather than drawing this out by voting off one finalist per episode, the winner will be chosen from the final four tonight! They’re not messin’ around, these people!

Also, the top eight artists going on tour this summer! Keep your eyes  – and ears – open for the tour dates. I’m sure you won’t want to miss it!