THE FINAL BATTLES!!
Just once, for one of these battles, I wish someone would pull out a sword and charge.
James Massone vs. WADE
Or The High School Jock from every 90’s movie ever vs. WADE. Blake loves that James is wearing his own merch, which is musician-speak for another way to rip the audience off. All the other musicians in the big chairs agree and Cee-Lo sees the potential moneymaker standing in front of him.
James sells out wins!
Mathai vs. Nicole Gaylon
Nicole is STRUGGLING! It’s a good thing she has such a pretty face. Mathai clearly wins this. By a lot. Adam hates everyone, but he hates Mathai a little less.
Moses vs. The Line
They partnered up all the bizzaro-name people in this episode. Moses? Did you take your people to the promised land? I don’t think so!! Even a funky kid like Moses can work out the amount of white that resides in The Line. They are the whitest! Christina doesn’t relate to the stiff white folks so she gets down with Moses!
Carla Davis vs. Orlando Napier
Nap time! I swear this is the recording they used in my preschool to cue up crackers and nap time. They are both equally sleepytime but Carla wins a spot on Team Adam because she has tits.
Jordan Rager vs. Naia Kete
First of all, anytime you do a song with a rasta beat, the person with the dreads automatically wins. And Blake knows this rule, so Naia wins.
Tony Vincent vs. Justin Hopkins
Who knew Powder had such a good voice? Actually, Tony looks more like a young Voldemort, especially when he sees Harry potter. You know how Cee-Lo likes his weird-looking folks, so Voldemort takes it!
Stay tuned for the full recap!!