MiniCap: The Voice

So in this episode, Christina pairs Julia and Raquel to sing Rihanna’s “Only Girl in the World…” oh wait. Wait, that’s last week’s episode. I am getting very, very confused. We’re on the final round of the battles, and they’re all starting to run together now.

Only two contestants remain per team, marking the end of the battle round. According to your comments, their viewers are dropping like flies. So bare with me for one final yet very redundant recap of the battle round. Next week starts the live competition, which should be very original.

Adam pairs Jeff and Casey together to sing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me.” A ridiculously slow rendition of it. With Jeff being a front-runner early on, this should be no contest, right? Well, yeah. Jeff wins, but not until Adam tries to trip us up by constantly telling us Casey has become the big surprise of the show, what with her superman voice and all. Plus she designs her own clothes, so she’s the next Gwen Stefani. Nice try, Adam – we’re four weeks into this battle round baloney and nothing can shock us now. Not even the make-out scene between two contestants at the end of the episode.

Yum. Tastes like candy.

Only Sara and Xenia are left on Blake’s team to sing “I’ll Stand by You,” and again, it’s a terrible rendition. Blake just doesn’t know how to pick ‘em. But he doesn’t take the blame, telling both teens they have to learn that life is hard and sometimes when you’re on singing competitions on national television you have to learn to sing outside of your comfort level. So please take note of that the next time you end up doing one of these things again, ok, girls?

Oh, and Xenia won.

Christina pairs up Lily and Cherie to sing “Since You’ve Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson, which is kinda ironic cuz a few years ago Kelly prohibited “American Idol” from using her songs. Can we say, “slap in the face?” Regardless, they do a fine job and there’s a touching moment where Cherie FINALLY gets to meet Reba McEntire, whom she wrote the #1 single “Turn On Your Radio” for. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help her win the competition, but whatever…

Finally we have Cee Lo’s team. Emily is nervous to sing “Need You Now” with Curtis because she’s developed a little crush on him over the past few weeks. To compete against and possibly end the singing competition career of the man you lust after? Well, what’s a girl to do? It’s no problem for Curtis, who states he’s already lost out on a professional baseball career because of some whore and he’s not doing that again. But he’s totally open to a little action in the meantime. At the end of the song, Curtis and Emily embrace in a kiss. A really long, uncomfortable kiss. I think Cee Lo’s jealous, because he ends up sending Emily home.

We’re soooo done with this! I’m so glad everyone’s keeping their minds open and waiting for the live competition to see what becomes of this show. But in the meantime I’m sure I’ll find plenty of ways to make fun of this last episode to at least keep you entertained. ‘Til then, my friends! ‘Til then.