This is it – the moment you’ve all been waiting for: The live performances of “The Voice!” And honestly, it’s not bad.
Let’s get this party started, people!
All of our judges have returned from a month-long hiatus looking fresh and relaxed. Adam brushed up on his guitar skills, Christina got a new weave, Cee Lo grew a porn stash and Blake got married. And that Miranda Lambert must be something, because he has really changed his attitude.
Yes, Blake Shelton is a happy, happy man. He spends most of his time providing great advice, giving compliments and waiving his left hand around for all to see his wedding bling.
And he sings. In fact, everyone sings – and despite the cheesy scenic backdrops, laser effects and fog machines, everyone sings pretty well (or at least that’s what the judges say). Even Carson Daly looks happy to be back. He’s not really any better, but he looks content.
There’s definitely love in the air. Maybe it’s Christina’s increase in confidence or Blake new marriage contract; or maybe it’s Cee Lo’s new red outfit; or maybe it’s because the producers put some drugs in the fog machine – who knows? All I can tell you after last night’s episode is the judges were beyond giddy to praise each and every singer after their performances.
The entire two-hour episode is dedicated to performances by the remaining members of Christina’s and Blake’s teams. And unlike in the battle rounds, the live performances play to each singer’s strengths. The rockers get to play their own instruments, the teeny-boppers get dancers and choreography, the cheesier singers get scenic backdrops and fog – you get the picture. But it makes for an entertaining show, and most of the singers seem comfortable in their own skin for once. I said most of them.
But that’s not all you get. The judges open the show with a mash-up of Queen melodies, featuring a guitar solo by Adam Levine. We’re also treated to performances by Christina and Blake with their respective teams.
And if you’re not already completely overwhelmed by all the goings-on of this episode, they’ve also incorporated a “V-Room” into the production, where they often cut to so we can see the musicians pretending to tweet on their phones. There’s also some model named Allison asking them really stupid questions, only to correct them on their answers (yeah, seriously, she does that).
You see, this isn’t any old singing competition – THIS is the most digital reality show in the universe! The V-Room is the hub of every social media site on the planet – and they’re monitoring whatever you have to say about “The Voice.” So in a way “The Voice” is watching you now. You better watch your back – I have a feeling if you don’t like this episode, Carson Daly is going to show up to your house with a bunch of thugs and quietly have you disposed of.
I’ll try to get the full recap to you as soon as I can. But don’t fret – you have until Monday to vote for your favorite artist. Oh, which by the way you can do by calling, going online or downloading their songs on iTunes. The money doesn’t actually go to the artists – it goes to the poor producers who are living in smaller mansions during these hard economic times, so please, give to charity.
Yep. It’s a digital world.