Minicap: The Voice

Well, it’s finally here. After weeks of countless promos that rode the coattails of Cee Lo’s and Blake’s fiance’s respective Grammy and CMA successes, Christina’s Superbowl meltdown and Adam’s… um – well, I’m not entirely sure what Adam Levine has been up to lately, but he’s here – we no longer have to wait for the season premiere of “The Voice.” I knew this was going to be good when my mom texted me from the depths of the Midwest to tell me how much she loved it.

The two-hour season premiere promised to be different (not necessarily better) than “American Idol.” In fact, they spent a good portion of the show comparing themselves to the top-rated show. So what makes “The Voice” different from all the other singing competitions out there? Well, let’s see:

1. First of all, it’s all about your voice, hence the title. The initial auditions are blind. No, the singers aren’t visually impaired (Idol already beat them to it anyway), but the judges aren’t allowed to see the contestants until they decide whether to pass them on to the next round.
2. The judges sit in rotating teacups rather than chairs. Once they decide they like someone’s voice, they hit a button and turn towards the stage to see what they have to work with. They’re only allowed eight contestants to mentor during the season, so they better choose wisely.
3. If more than one judge turns his or her teacup, they have to battle it out for the right to coach that respective singer. Then the “artist” gets to choose who he or she wants to work with.
4. Paula Abdul has been replaced by Christina Aguilera, who tries her darndest to make everyone uncomfortable by hitting on them.
5. And of course, they incorporate social media just to spice things up a bit. The judges’ live tweets are displayed during the show, all of which offer special insight like, “Welcome to the team” and “Looking forward to working with you.”

But there are some similarities. Ryan Seacrest is the host. Wait… wait a sec. Oh no, that’s not Ryan Seacrest. It’s Carson Daly, a much less famous yet somewhat taller version of Ryan Seacrest. Well, it’s practically the same thing.

And once the judges are done mentoring and the competition goes into full gear, audience votes will decide the winner of “The Voice.” But that comes later – I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

So now that the rules are explained and you understand how “The Voice” is completely different from Idol, we can finally get to the show. It opens with the four judges singing “Crazy.” Christina Aguilera doesn’t forget the lyrics or fall down, so that’s good. Then for the next one hour and 54 minutes, we watch a ton of contestants sing their hearts out as the judges rotate in their teacups and bicker with each other.

There’s no William Hungs or delusional psychopaths among the singers so far. All of the contestants had to pass a prelim round that we don’t see, so they’re all pretty talented. Only a few don’t make it and nobody has a meltdown. So in an attempt to create some suspense, there’s quite a few close-ups of Christina’s hand hovering over her button (that’s what HE said). Will she push the button (again, what he said), or continue to just sit there, crushing the dreams of, oh say about two or three contestants? You’ll have to wait for the full recap to find out…

Oh – and if you watched the commercials, it was the premiere of the new voice of the Aflac duck. The new voice on “The Voice” – get it? Smart marketing, you guys. Very, very smart…