MiniCap: The X Factor

Just calling it like we see it, I guess.

Last night’s elimination episode of The X Factor may not have had the high drama of last week, but it did contain a unique element that I am obsessed with nearly as much as I was with Astro’s egotistical fit – and we shall call it the PEPSI CHOICE PERFORMANCE.

For the past few weeks, the audience has been allowed to vote online for said performance, getting to choose things like costumes, dance style, and which performer gets to be mauled by angry bear cubs.

The result, as our precious Steve Jones says, is ‘insane.’ I’ll go into more detail in the full recap, but suffice to say, the whole thing looked like Britney Spears had sex with a circus tent and the resulting nightmare was vomited out all over the X Factor stage.

We also got performances from Kelly Clarkson and Bruno Mars, both of which were fine if somewhat forgettable (though I do love me some K.C.).

It was a double elimination night, so the act with the lowest number of votes was immediately and heartlessly punted off of the show, while the next two lowest got put on the chopping block for the judges to vote on, as usual. I won’t spoil it here by going into who got da boot (in case you haven’t watched yet), but I can pat myself on the back for once again predicting exactly who would be sent back to their lives of abject misery and boredom. It’s gonna be harder from here on out, though!

Check back in a couple of days for the full recap, where you will get my full rundown on exactly which circus character each contestant was dressed as (sadly, no one picked ‘Bearded Lady,’ ‘Firebreather,’ or ‘Abused Elephant Being Defended by Talentless Harridan Olivia Munn to Score P.R. Points*.’) and who I predict will be going home next week!  In the meantime, if you wanna check out my elimination recap from last week, click here. See you soon!

(*Clearly I am not advocating the abuse of elephants. I like elephants. I am, however, protesting the completely unwarranted popularity of Ms. Munn, who transparently uses anything she can get her hands on (abused elephants, single B-list actors, Brett Ratner’s dingle) to put herself in the spotlight. Also, you should know that all of her geek-cred is phony baloney. My work here is done.)

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