Minicap: Toddlers & Tiaras

25 Comments

1. 1
   featherhead
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 9:43 am

   Dear Crabby-this show is almost as entertaining as your recaps. Love, love, love all the comment wars. Especially when the twatmom posted your gasm bio, like it was something shocking. You go Mrs. Clooney!!

2. 2
   Victory
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 9:55 am

   Hailey’s family (the Georges) was on Supernanny, season 7, episode 7. I didn’t see it but I found a short clip that said the older two girls (one is a teen mom) hate each other and the other three younger girls run wild. One of the older girls has had a baby since the Supernanny show, I don’t know which one. On Supernanny there was only one grandchild and on T&T they said there were two.

3. 3
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 10:17 am

   It was hi-larious when the 19+ piece of mall ass won, and the 6 yr. old started tearing up. The whole situation was just so ludicrous. Little kids competing to look like grown women getting beat by grown women who look like grown women. If you needed any proof that the whole kid’s pageant idea has more faults than the San Andreas, now yo have it.

   Pageant Director Annette Hill needs a nice warm cup of Calm the Fuck Down, Bitch.

4. 4
   berlyn
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 10:44 am

   I remembered them right away from Supernanny because of the mother’s very classy speech pattern..anyway, Supernanny was getting on them for their refusal to talk to their teen daughters about sex/birth control. Looks like they didn’t heed her advice, because, yeah, baby number two! I think dad/grandpa secretly wants a boy, so he’s a little lax on paying for his daughter’s birth control…maybe next time !!!

5. 5
   berlyn
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 10:46 am

   I have to say, I was relieved that creepy judge was actually getting all hot over the 18-yr-olds. In the past he always looked a little too excited about the little ones, so maybe he’s only a borderline pedophile…

6. 6
   Angela
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 10:53 am

   I wanted to punch Dianely’s mother in the throat. First for naming her daughter Dianely, and then for making her quit an actual worthy pursuit of gymnastics because the muscles she was developing didn’t look right in the piece of crap bedazzled “beauty dress.” Nice priorities a-hole. I weep for the future.

7. 7
   NotWithoutMyTV
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 11:13 am

   @Angela: In the future, Dianely’s mother is 750 lbs and never leaves her BarcaLounger. And Dianely refuses to feed her anything but an odd pizza crust or occasionally the last few stale Cheetos at the bottom of the bag. And Dianely never, ever gives in to her mother’s constant pleading to “wear one of those shiny crowns, just for a minute”. So don’t worry, it all evens out.

8. 8
   Fan-Ann
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 11:22 am

   Yeah, Creepy Judge was drooling over the 18-20 year olds. Annette Hill said that some of them had come out of retirement to compete for the 10,000 prize. I think the winner was the one whose ambition was to be a mortician and own her own funeral home……dreams, we’ve all got them!

9. 9
   Alison Zimmerman
   Posted July 14, 2011 at 11:41 am

   OMG, you guys crack me up!! @Notwithoutmytv, LOL!! I would be a little bitch ass brat too, if my mom and aunt kept feeding me sugar cubes! WTF, Chuck?!?! A 2 year old is hyper enough, don’t give her sugar cubes to get her to do stuff….but she did rock it when she wanted too!

   Was Dianely the one we saw in the commercial dropping eff bombs? I was not very happy with the outcome of the eppi! I did feel bad for the girls, the look on their faces said it all. “bitch give me my money! You don’t belong here with us little girls!” Lola was the one who got the crown right? I loved it when she told her mom, “don’t take my fowlers!!” Priceless!

10. 10
    berlyn
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 11:55 am

    If you think these moms are nuts (and they are,) you HAVE to watch DanceMoms on Lifetime, they take crazy, borderline abusive to a whole new level……

11. 11
    Celchi
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    It seems like there must be inbreeding in Lola’s family. The father is right out of Deliverance and the mom – wow, if she is NOT on some heavy duty anti-depressants, she soon will be. Maybe she should eat sugar cubes and cheetoes too?
    Funny thing is Lola will grow up looking JUST like her mom.
    This was a really sad thing to watch. The little monster, was so nasty to her real mother, and wanted to be with her aunt (who does not seem to think it a bad thing for this kid to hate her own mother).
    Pretty little girl but will make everyone who is around her miserable in school in life etc. I also feel badly for the older sister who looks just like her dad. If I were this mom I would say – take Lola, I will visit her in prison when she gets older. But, I have a idea that when her sister and she were younger the sister was just like Lola. her self esteem was shot long time ago. Now, it continues with the little brat of a daughter. s Of course, what would probably happen is Lola will marry some rich guy who will continue the spoiling of her. She will write a book (with a ghost writer, of course) and tell how her mother abandoned her and forced her to enter into pageants and if were not for her aunt she would be nothing.
    All through school people will write her papers for her, give her their candy, lunch money while she insults them and calls them names. People will fear her more than love her. What kid does not love their mother? or at least has SOME kind attachment to them? Very, very sad and strange.
    The fat ghetto mom. DIANELLY? puh-leez. at least there is no apostrophes in it. OMG what a vicious nasty piece of trash. The kid probably was beaten when she got home. She HATES pageants and the mom wonders why the kid does not do well. I feel so terrible for that poor kid. No dad around. SURPRISE! For this kid to grow up in a household where there is no love, no support only the jealous ramblings of a miserable, nasty sourfaced ugly woman.
    I hope that Hailey’s mom sticks to her last statement about taking Haily out of pageants. That would be am act of true love for her daughter.

12. 12
    HotsyHotcakes
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    I thought I recognized Hailey’s mother from somewhere! She’s blond now, but still a hot mess.

    Also, “You can’t like all of the colors of the rainbow. You can only like one color.” What the hell?

    That creepy judge so reminded me of the judge that Matt Malloy played in ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous.” When he got all hot and bothered talking about the teen girls…wow. Just wow. Can’t wait to read the full recap!

13. 13
    PageantRefugee
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    Oh…the stories I could tell you all about Dianely’s Mom…LMAO! Been there, scared of that!

14. 14
    lilmama
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    DearCrabby,
    I’ve been an avid fan of your recaps for about a year now, and I’ve finally have felt the urge to comment on them. Your truly have a wonderful way of expressing what all of us feel about this ridiculousness! I must say, Dianely’s mother was quite frightening just watching her. I can’t imagine living with her @PageantRefugee, I hope that lady hasn’t harmed you lol! It was quite strange seeing the relationship with Lola and her aunt, and the lack of relationship between Lola and her “mom.” It led me to speculate if her aunt could actually be her mother….
    ~Lilmama

15. 15
    Alice
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Jackpot! This show was a total package! (Why don’t they say that anymore?) But Annette makes me tired…I want Betty to do every pageant.
    That horrible little Lola seriously needs to have those sugar cubes shoved up her nose…she has moved to the top of my WORST KID EVER list. No, wait…I forgot about Cassidy.
    And what was up with creepy office guy slobbering over those MATURE girls? Maybe he’s versatile.
    I can’t wait to read the recap!

16. 16
    Chicken Lips
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    Gee, was the top prize $10,000? I wasn’t sure…they need to be more clear about these things!

    Denali seems like a perfectly normal kid (I want to be on the Olympic gymnastics team, all the other girls tried real hard, too), but then we meet her snatcharella mother. I hope that the same Indiana family services department that took away Teen Mom’s Amber’s kid away goes a knockin’ on Denali’s door and enrolls her in a gymnastics course.

    Any bets on the fact that Malee is really Lola’s mom but wasn’t in a position to raise her so Poo and Banjo offered to raise her and tell her Malee is “Aunt Lee”?

    I really got nothing on Hailey…she was the least offensive I feel. Her mother’s got some real sour grapes about blondies…as she’s rockin’ blond hair. You tan your kid, why not let Miss Clairol do her thing, too?

    And was that Eden Wood in the audience? One last hurrah to get enough money to help support her coke habit as she strolls Hollywood Blvd.?

17. 17
    Chicken Lips
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    Oh, and @berlyn – I was wondering if anyone was watching that…looks like a hot mess on a silver platter

18. 18
    berlyn
    Posted July 14, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    @chicken lips – according to eden’s mom, Mickie Wood’s, fb page, Universal Royalty is now her employer. hmmm…..

19. 19
    moragkim
    Posted July 15, 2011 at 11:16 am

    Dianelly was on the girls on Eden’s mall tour. Poor child

20. 20
    bellenoire
    Posted July 15, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    Did anyone catch the clear stripper heels on the winner?

21. 21
    PageantRefugee
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Ok, who’s ready for backstory? LOL!
    I don’t want to upstage DearCrabby, who I wish someday would sneak into a taping and watch the whole thing!

    Ok, Let’s start with Franny….I better be careful because she’s been known to knock people on their rear ends when she finds out they are talking about her. Usually it’s in the parking lot of a pageant hotel. Dianely is actually an INCREDIBLY talented girl who normally walks in and kicks a@@ and takes names. She is also really sweet. Her Mom is a certified crazy. It’s sad. I noticed she actually got some furniture. Not long ago their entire living room was consumed by a full size practice stage. Yes, really. No furniture, just a stage. She makes Dianely practice for HOURS every day. All that said, Little D really did cause a stir. She was fairly unknown not much more than a year ago and to come in and sweep the titles away from girls that have been on the circuit since diapers is very, very rare. UR had a lot of national level competitors though. I saw many familiar faces. One of the girls in her age group is the top of the top everywhere right now.

    Let’s talk about Hannah, shall we? All the buzz was going like crazy before this pageant even happened, hence the number of comments made even before crowning. Once word got out that she was competing, everyone knew they might as well pack up their flippers and go home. Lots of angry Mommies! Hannah hasn’t competed in a couple of years. Hard to do when you’re PREGNANT. Yep, you missed GayDad#1 congratulating her while NewGayPsudeoStepDad held her little bundle of joy in his arms. If you blink, you’ll miss it. Hannah has been competing FOREVER and is the daughter of MyTwoGayDadsWhoAreBothPageantGurus. Except they broke up. And it was ugly. Very ugly. There is still a stench of hatred at every pageant. You’re either on one team, or the other. Speaking of teams, GayDad#2 decided to switch his. He up and married a (VERY)young top pageant gal and they went on to produce a couple new little pageant robots. GayDad#1 found a latin lover and between GayDad#1′s very heavy, very high pitched Southern drawl and LatinHottie’s broken English it amazes me that they can even understand each other!
    Enjoy!

22. 22
    Fan-Ann
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    OMG PageantRefugee!!! So a prior pregnancy doesn’t disqualify a girl from pageants? Maybe Hannah really needs that money to finance a new life away from so much nastiness. Or, in a few months will she be on the circuit putting her baby in the competitions? Yikes! And the TwoGayDad situation sounds insane. It sounds extremely uncomfortable for everyone else who has to be exposed to them. And Dianely did seem very sweet and talented. I hope she can retain her sweetness and her sanity until she is old enough to get away from her bitch of a mother.

23. 23
    Alison Zimmerman
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    @PagentRefugee-will you be my BFF?!? -wink, wink!- I am still new to this show. I am catching reruns in the afternoon on TLC! The other day I caught the show in which the little girl made her mom wear the bunny ears…All I can say is that little girl would do awesome if she was to be the spawn of Satan in a horror movie!

    In the eppisode that we saw this last week, I could have sworn some kid was swearing at her mom…or did I imagine that? I was watching an episode of “say yes to the dress, atlanta.” and one of the girls brought her granny, whom she calls “Nini!” All I could think of was Makenzie yelling, “NiNi, where are you? Nini!! That NiNi, she is a hard workin lady!”

    Oh, and the little girl last week that “stole” the title, are we going to see that pagent later on in the season? I am going to have to go and rewatch the latest eppi ondemand to see if you can see Hanna’s baby. Thanks PR for the insider info~ I would love to hear more from you

24. 24
    Wilma Fingherdu
    Posted July 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    I FELL ASLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP 15 minutes into the show (not cause it was anything like boring, cause of sheer exhaustion) – Counting on your full recap, DearCrabby! I did see enough of Dianely’s mom to know she’s a horse’s ass…

25. 25
    Tara
    Posted July 19, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Poor Dianely. As for the judge, maybe it’s a good thing that he picked an older woman to win the $10,000. It shows he’s not a pedophile…maybe.