Minicap: Top Chef Masters

Top Chef

By Alejandra | Thursday, April 21, 2011 | 9:00 am | 9 Comments
Posted in: MiniCaps, Recaps, Top Chef

LOGO

Gasmii!  Man, this one had me on the edge of my seat.  First of all, the Quickfire had our noble contestants cooking insects, which I found fascinating in a car accident/I want to vomit but I can’t look away sort of way.  Hughnibrow stepped up for the win with some fried crickets, and Suvir served a salad and a jar of live worms because he’s Hindu and can’t take even the creepy crawliest of lives.  You can file that under, “Things That Suck About Being Hindu.”

For the Elimination Challenge, Stonecoldfox informs the chefs that their task is to prepare a charity dinner, with each chef responsible for a course.  That’s it.  No other restrictions.  Traci of the Gardens wisely surmises that when shit seems this easy, it’s probably too good to be true.  She’s right.  In one of the most uncreative devices ever, the producers just throw random curveballs at the chefs throughout the three-hour prep time (no running water, no servers, etc.).  It’s all pretty uninteresting.  What really gets me going is how fucking awful this situation allows Naomi to be.  She steps up to be the bossy, patronizing b****- leader, and rubs everyone the wrong way, including the nicest people there, Hugh and Mary Sue.

As per usual, the diners generally love all the food, and the judges find a little something wrong with everything.  Suvir’s dish was delicious, but too much in his comfort zone.  Naomi’s soup is unexpectedly flavorful, but too thick.  Ironically, it’s Naomi and Suvir who get the most votes by far from the diners, and the critics give Naomi the win.  Which pisses me off heartily, especially when I learn that her charity mails seeds to people.  Pfft.

In the end, and a total twist, John Currence was sent home!  He made a perfect risotto, but he didn’t “stretch” enough.  Total bullshit.  Total.  Bullshit.  But a good episode.

Tune in for the recap on Monday, in which we’ll explore the best method to cook scorpions – grilling vs. deep frying.

About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

9 Comments

  1. 1
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted April 21, 2011 at 10:46 am

    I’m SO glad I wasn’t the only one who snorted when she waxed profound about her “charity.” Especially after George, who hasn’t seemed like Mr. Deep or Thoughtful, told us he’s playing for Water.org which, oh, helps to bring clean, fresh drinking water to people who don’t have access to it.

    And yeah, making Mary Sue cranky has to relegate someone to a special ring in hell where Naomi will have to listen to Vogon poetry for all eternity, right? Validating this woman just seems so very wrong.

  2. 2
    Bioscotto
    Posted April 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    I’m confused about the John going home. It reminds me of Project Runway! Apparently, just like you can’t bore Nina, you also can’t bore James!

  3. 3
    2muchbravo
    Posted April 21, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    I got home late and was just eating dinner when this came on and actually had to change the channel while they were playing with the bugs. I came back later, though.

    They’re not *just* seeds. They’re vintage, haiiiirloooom seeds or some shit like that. Naomi needs to go soon! I want to grab her dangly earrings and swing her damn head around.

  4. 4
    jersey4041
    Posted April 21, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    I like Suvir. His calmness is inspiring to me.

  5. 5
    JimmyT
    Posted April 21, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    These shows can be great when you have a good villain, but Naomi is not it. She is just annoying.

  6. 6
    Diana
    Posted April 22, 2011 at 12:25 am

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAWD, I loves me some Curtis Stonecoldfox! I have to put on a bib before this show comes on, because he makes me drool like a baby, before they show a lick of food, or whatever the EFF they’re making the chefs cook to pass for food this week. I haven’t checked yet, but do they have the insect recipies available on the website? Those fried crickets looked like…something that would actually make me stick to my diet. Speaking of lick, did I mention I loooooooooooves me some Curtis Stonecoldfox? Yummiest thing on television. Stick a candy thermometor in me (please?), I’m done! Can’t wait for the full recap and requisite fox screenshots! :)

  7. 7
    Fan-Ann
    Posted April 22, 2011 at 8:50 am

    I love Suvir. He is like televised Valium. When I hear him speak I can feel my blood pressure going down and my mind mellows….then Miss Bossypants Naomi brings it back up with her Gestapo kitchen orders. And yes, Stonecoldfox is gorgeous to both eye and ear.

  8. 8
    2muchbravo
    Posted April 22, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Hehe The new show on Food Network: Gestapo Kitchen with Naomi Bossypants. Sharpen your knives and get ready for the pig slaughtering competition.

  9. 9
    oodle_noodle
    Posted April 22, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    I was flabberghasted at John being sent home–I’d say boning something as easy as puddinG (everyone saying ‘puddin’ made me want to kick something) is far worse than making a boring dish perfectly. My mom and I were both sad to see John go.
    Count me in for the Suvir love. Now I just have him and Floyd to cheer for.

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