Welcome back, ‘Gasmii, to another wonderful episode of Extended Commercial Top Chef, where there’s always something they want you to buy…

even when it has fuck-all to do with what’s going on
Yes, for some reason Effluvia reared its fakely-sweet head again tonight, but the real star of the QuickFire Challenge was soft drink favorite Clan Of DeVry™, which has special memories for me because as a kid I only ever got to drink it when I was sick to my stomach, so it’s always sorta associated in my head with barfing. In any case, this week’s QuickFire was for the chefs to make a dish using Clan Of DeVry’s main flavor, which is fresh ginger…

not so fresh Ginger
The sweetest part of this is hearing Wolfgang Schmuck call one of the chef’s dishes “underwhelming”…

also, this happens
Although the picture looks like StacheBear tried to grope Blowsie and she’s kneeing him in the dick, that’s not really what happened… in fact, I’m pretty sure Stachey’s dick shriveled up and fell off after that much body contact with Her Royal Toothiness.
Then we come to one of the most favorite episodes of every season: Restaurant Wars. Except not really. No, instead, each chef is asked to come up with their own restaurant concept and make a single dish that would embody that concept. The top two dishes will get to make their restaurants come to life next week during the real Restaurant Wars episode. You know, Daddy Tom knows a thing or two about restaurant concepts…

here he is working in his 80′s restaurant MousseCraft
Whoooa, sorry Daddy Tom, you were not nearly as hot as a younger non-daddy. Anyhow, there are several semi-interesting concepts that are brought forth, and a lot of predictableness… one chef recreates his tired old candy lollipops again, another chef doesn’t cook anything, still another chef trots out this season’s first dead relative and tries to cry, while another insults Jewish people…
also, this happens… again
Yes, you didn’t think we were done with being forced to watch the Blowsie Show, did you? Cuz she’s braying her horsey fake-laughter everywhere and waiting for her food to cook via the hot gases bellowing from her oversized mouth. She thinks it’s fun to have everyone wait with her, because her banter is just sooooo cute and funny and distracting. At least it’s louder than all the rumbling stomachs of the people slowly expiring from starvation at her station. Like many of you, I can’t wait for this bitch to be gone. Check back in a few days for the full recap, and if you haven’t experienced the joy that was The Exit Of Hater-Tots, come check out last week’s recap here.
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16 Comments
WHY IS JOSIE THERE??!! what contract did Bravo sign with her & CJ that allow them to stay after shitty food & worse service..really I am so over her fat worthless trash talking ass! How about instead of voting to “save a chef” we vote to kick one off!
I refuse to believe that this episode was real life.
The only good things to come from it were the winners and getting to see a young daddy tom.
Bald just works for some men doesn’t it?
That must have been one fucked up dish if it sent you and you’re knives packing before Josie.
She is sooo ugh.
I knew when he was describing his concept that Micah was going to be going home. I’ve eaten at some AMAZING raw vegan restaurants in NYC, but preparing food like that, and making it amazing, requires a tremendous of amount of skill and specialized knowledge. It’s worth checking out the menu of a restaurant like Pure Food and Wine to see what talented chefs in this field can do…and it ain’t slapping some day-old sashimi on a bed of lettuce.
Josie is so horrible. If you’re going to bring back chefs from previous seasons, at least bring back people who can COOK. I feel like the producers have kept awful Josie and talentless Stefan here for so long just to justify their choice to have returning players.
I agree, J-M0, Daddy Tom’s hotness has been seriously elevated by age and baldness. Although any guy who’s willing to cook has a leg up in my book…
The previews for the “real” Restaurant Wars next week imply that Blowsie is up to her old tricks, which makes me nervous for her team leader.
I’m with the contract concept . . . they may not like the concept of raw food, and heck, every fish in the world on one plate, but Josie sucks, and has sucked for weeks and weeks if not the whole time . . . Moley had way more potential . . . I just don’t get it!
The good , talented chef’s from TC of yesteryear’s have JOBS…they brought back the 3 that are unemployed is my guess.. Blowsie needs to go in a big way and I think we should vote Hater-tots back in if Stache Bear makes it to the finals…just to fuck around w/ him.
You know what is scary?…when watching the show I call them by their nicknames and not their real names..lol
GRRRRR! ARRRRGH! FEH! BLECH! PTOOIE! ACKACKACK!
I was so certain that Blowsie was headed out the door when the guest judge said the pork fought back against his fork and literally screamed at my TV when Padma canned Micah instead.
She really is the dreaded reincarnation of Fleasa. Although even Fleasa kind of understood that she was skating by every episode. Blowsie just brays and honks that she thinks she did well then brays and honks when she gets criticized for sucking so bad she makes us cry.
I haven’t been this annoyed and aggravated since the season that shall not be named. I was full of Ramsey Rage at the end of this episode.
Blowsie got saved in order to screw with Kristen in Restaurant Wars.
That audible WOOooffFFF when Blowsie and Stachebear ran into each other was hilarious. Too bad he was facing the other way, I wanted to see if his mustache uncurled and recurled.
All the principals associated with this show have always fervently insisted that the judging is all about the food and nothing but the food. If that is so (I think it’s complete bullshit, but that’s just me) then why isn’t that reflected in the aired comments from the judges’ table? Blowsie’s pork was practically inedible, which brings to mind her Thanksgiving turkey, while Micah’s dish was criticized for having too many different kinds of fish on one plate so that the individual flavors were not distinct. So, Micah goes and Blowsie stays. WTF?
Daddy always responds to criticism the same way: “You didn’t taste the food. We did.” Maybe so, but I HEARD how you described it, and based on that, Blowsie should have been sacked.
That’s bullshit. There’s no way Blowsie should’ve not been sent packing. How many times did her food suck and how many times did they comment on her schtick? Micahs’ errors were far less grievous to me. He may have had too many unappealing pieces of fish on his plate but they could eat it. They couldn’t get her food on their fork. His past dishes show he doesn’t always make crap. Blowsie, however, hasn’t made one good thing since she’s been on there. Has she even been in the top on any challenges? That tiger hasn’t changed her stripes.
I think if you watch the credits at the end you’ll see something about the producers consulting on choosing the winners.
As much as I screamed and raged at the TV when Blowsie was safe and Micah was sent home, I kind of understood too. This is a COOKING show. A restaurant concept of all RAW food, doesn’t really work out so well. In all actuality, Blowsie should’ve gone home for the raw turkey she sent out for Thanksgiving. It’s utter ridiculouslness that she’s lasted this long. When she was saying, “I didn’t make it to restaurant wars in my season” I thought, “yeah, and there’s a reason for that. YOU SUCK!” If she ruins Kristen’s chances of winning, so help me, I will write a VERY strongly worded letter to Bravo…
@badgerfreak, there are some great raw chefs, and the name of the show is Top Chef. If Blowsie presented a worse cooked dish than Micah’s raw dish, she still should have gone home even if Micah didn’t heat something up. There was one female chef, in the first or second season, who was a “healthy” chef. She never, if I recall correctly, unlike Micah, presented anything outside this concept. She would often tell a judge, “This will give you good bowel movements.” I suppose that was her way of saying that it might not taste good, but there are other benefits.
@crankyguy, I remember the chef you’re taking about. I’m not saying you can’t go the raw route. There’s all kinds of raw food that takes skill and talent to prepare/present. I don’t take that away from them. I think, based on Micah’s one dish, they didn’t feel his concept was strong enough to push out more than the one item he prepared. I hate Blowsie just as much as everyone else though. Personally, I would send them BOTH home. Micah never did much for me anyways. Blowsie should’ve gone home a long time ago.