Minicap: Top Chef Seattle

Top Chef

By J-Mo | Thursday, December 13, 2012 | 1:57 am | 16 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, Top Chef

Anna is preggo, and Chris has a similar look, so they are both really adventurous when it comes to their food. This means a lot of wildly meaty meat-products get used, and it also means that StacheBear is going to cook some more pork, because he just can’t stay away from pigflesh…

05 Josh Valentine Is A Bacon-Loving Tool Top Chef 1006 05
or lame T-shirts

Oh, and the winner of today’s challenge (assuming there is one actually awarded as such this time) gets their very own Cloyota Penis to drive away in…

06 Josie Smith-Malave Has A Lesboner Top Chef 1006 04
which naturally gives Blowsie a lezboner

You guys aren’t going to believe this, but the best smackdown of the night belongs to none other than Scar… and I will tell you all about in the full recap that will appear in the next couple of days. In the meantime, if you haven’t read last week’s recap, you can find it here. Apparently a former reality tv show contestant found it, saw the one-inch square mention I made of him and tweeted about it…

07 No No No No No No Top Chef 1006 00
trust, I won’t do it again

love, J-Mo :)

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J-Mo
About

J-Mo is a great big fat hairy homo (and he tends to be attracted to the same) who lives with his big fat non-hairy BF in the Valley Of The Sun, a.k.a. Phoenix, Arizona. By day he is an account manager for a giant corporate megaconglomerate and his greatest joy comes from not having to speak directly to the general public any more... also, he can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never never let you forget you're a man.  By night (when he's not recapping) he is a co-choreographer (and the Fattest Backup Dancer In Captivity™) for one of Phoenix's most talented female impersonators known as Devina Ross.  He is also still a part of the Rhythm Nation.

16 Comments

  1. 1
    reality
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I too was confused about the welcome home and thought it would be military. Never had the red carpet rolled out for me, but good for them! Plus, thought they were so cute in their snippet about reality TV. A fun poke and nod at the situation.

  2. 2
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Every time someone wins a car in this show, I crack up when Padma hands them the keys, because it always reminds me of the time Padma fastball-tossed the keys to Sleazabella. Nothing says “you disgust me” as much as keys tossed forty feet through the air.

  3. 3
    Miss Molly
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Marilyn Hagerty is da shit.

  4. 4
    exene
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Hey J-Mo– don’t let Chunky and Chica eat any tinsel– unless you don’t mind some expensive veterinary bills in the future. My husband’s a vet, and we don’t have tinsel on our tree– the cats can eat it and it can twist up and cause a blockage: http://www.cat-world.com.au/keeping-your-cat-safe-during-the-festive-season

    Love you! Merry Christmas!

  5. 5
    JimbobJones
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    @exene — That also goes for hair ties — a friend’s cat ate 17 of them.

  6. 6
    zerocool
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    The blatant product integration was over the top this time and very annoying. Wish they would stop, but it looks like it’s getting worse and worse every season.

    Love Parks and Rec so it was fun to see Chris Pratt.

  7. 7
    exene
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    and string– my husband goes nuts when I leave rubber bands laying around, too– we have four cats (and a dog)– so lots of potential for trouble :)

  8. 8
    thebigcheese
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    chris pratt is on parks and recreation and is hilarious
    but i kept seeing andy dwyer at the fancy party and it amused and distracted me thorughout the episode

  9. 9
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    I knew that tree was too pretty to live.

    @thebigcheese, me too!!
    I was waiting for him to do something hilariously stupid and had to keep reminding myself that he’s not Andy. It was also kind of weird to see him with someone who is not April.
    His mom was my favorite though. She was so cute and sassy.

    Scar was so unamused. I love when she gets like that.

  10. 10
    AliceinPopLand
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Scar’s smack down was legen…what for it cause it will never ever happen again….dary!

  11. 11
    brzysmom12
    Posted December 13, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    I was opposite on who that couple was. Didn’t know who girly Chris was but Anna Faris was in House Bunny and all the Scary Movies 1 thru 150,000 or however many they did. She’s really pretty good at playing the clueless dumb blonde.

    Scar’s smackdown was the highlight of the whole show! I really did LOL, not just typing it for effect. It also earned a playback to enjoy it all again. As usual, looking forward to your recap, JMo. But now I have to go put eyedrops in so my eyes stop burning from seeing bacony adam again. ew
    WOW on captcha thingy – visit casinoarizona?? really? uhh they owe me money that i mistakenly put in their machines last week

  12. 12
    Philo
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 6:33 am

    So what did BBbacon Adam tweet? Must be relishing the extra 1/2 minute of fame you gave him J-Mo.

    I was a bit confused at the end. A chef didn’t want to shake hands at the end with certain people for fear of transferring a cold, yet this chef served dinner to a pregnant woman and her entire family? Then hugged it out in the stew room with the rest of the chefs?

    Looking forward to the recap as always!

  13. 13
    Val Detinha
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Oh J-Mo, the tamale caught you! LMAO !! That’s why when I see something that I don’t recognize on my plate I keep waiting for others to eat first! :-D

    Truvia?? Really?? Oh TC!!

    So, it’s safe to ASSume that the winner of the Cloyota car won’t win the whole shebang?

  14. 14
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted December 14, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    I never watch Parks & Rec, mainly because I’m burnt out on stupid NBC sitcoms, but I will forever love Chris Pratt as Emily Van Camp’s older brother on the short-lived WB show, Everwood. Best.Show.Ever. #gonetoosoon

    Well, when the worst BB player in the history of the show retweets you, J-Mo, you know you’ve hit the big time!

  15. 15
    Wasabipeas Wasabipeas
    Posted December 15, 2012 at 7:13 am

    I didn’t understand the use of a sugar substitute. Oh, PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

  16. 16
    badgerfreak
    Posted December 17, 2012 at 7:29 am

    I watched the episode but am really failing to recall the Scar smackdown…I’ll have to rewatch it, unless someone can give me a hint. I heart Chris Pratt to death. Parks and Rec is outstanding. I didn’t watch for a long time, because like @Derek Hazelton, I was over the formula sitcom from NBC, but (as a state employee I can fully appreciate Leslie and her situations) it won me over entirely.

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