Minicap: Vanderpump Rules

34 Comments

1. 1
   Derek Hazelton
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 12:14 pm

   Aside from Stassi calling Scheana a whore, I got so tired of her saying “I’m 23 years old!” over and over again. I got to the point where I believed she had to be lying about her age, because there’s no reason she had to keep repeating it, if she was telling the truth.

   Wow, from the previous comments on this show, I thought everyone was being hard on it because it’s new and sometimes, it takes a while to get used to new characters, but my god, this shit is awful.

2. 2
   labowner
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 12:15 pm

   Stassi is a horrible human being. Every time I watch, I think less and less of Lisa.

3. 3
   thisbuggs4u
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 12:49 pm

   I can’t believe that I am older then Jax!! Even though I have been married of 8 1/2 years I can’t imagine dating someone that is 10 yrs younger then me…Shoot when I was 21 I dated someone that was 18 and still in highschool….granted we worked together…My work place was not quite the revolving std pool that SUR is, but still…

   Derek, did you read over on Bravo Stassi’s Q&A session?… apparently Tom and Kristen wanted to play poker, Stassi didn’t and they pawned her off on Jax…She said she was shitfaced and woke up with him the next morning wondering what she did to him to make him fall in a night….Hmm I can guess one thing she did to him to keep him coming back every night for 2 years…Who is the Whore now Stassi?

4. 4
   Gypsy
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 12:51 pm

   Well isn’t Pandy about 27? How are she and Stassi besties? Good point @Derek

5. 5
   MarianMoney
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 1:52 pm

   The most boring hour of my life. And that was until the first commercial break

6. 6
   labowner
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 3:02 pm

   Lisa is taking the hits from the comment section under her blog post. She asks that we be patient with Stassi.

7. 7
   Li'l C
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 3:13 pm

   Even though I indulge in some pretty awful reality tv viewing, this show is unbearable to watch. These people are horrible humans, and fairly boring. I can’t imagine how they will sustain an entire season of this maudlin crap, but I won’t stick around to watch.

8. 8
   crankyguy
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 3:28 pm

   This show, which I have not seen, sounds to be very much in the same vein as another horrible Bravo show: Start-Ups , showing us the lives of vapid, uninteresting, self-absorbed twits. May it die the same quick death.

9. 9
   crankyguy
   Posted January 15, 2013 at 3:29 pm

   * Start-Ups Silicon Valley

10. 10
    labowner
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 3:34 pm

    Cranky you have to watch to see how horrible this Stassi twat is and watching and reading Lisa actually stick up for her.

11. 11
    Gypsy
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    Stassi makes Schennnnaysyasdlkfjera lkjg;lmnopeana look like an angel.

12. 12
    kthxbai
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    Happy Pride! I really enjoyed watching Lisa cutting up on that pink fur float. Making inappropriate remarks to Kevin Lee.

    I think the people that are mad at her will start to change their minds.

    I know her official age is 50. But everybody knows she’s really into her golden yrs. She met her forever husband at a young age. Her kids are grown. She’s got buckets of $. And after all that time trying to have an acting career she finally got famous. From being on a trashy reality show. Which she thinks is a hoot. So she decided to make an even trashier 1. And it looks like she’s getting a big kick out of it.

    Even if it crashes and burns faster than Glgrlz and Miss Advised put together. And she gets fired from Real Housewives that same day she can afford to laugh and say bye. What’s she got to prove at her age? She’s not trying to launch herself like Nene and Bethenny. That are in a whole different place in their life.

    Plus I think just because of her ways and her generation she doesn’t take Bravo shows to heart maybe in as serious a way as some of the people watching might.

13. 13
    hbgchick
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    I really like Lisa, and it’s the only reason I watch because Stassi is just HORRIBLE. Poor Jax, maybe he’s not the best boyfriend in the world but clearly he will never live up to her lofty expectations. Funny thing is, she thinks she is such a prize…a blonde waitress in a sea of blonde waitresses who no longer is living off of Daddy. I think that’s part of her problem, she had no trouble supporting her hot boyfriend when it was on Daddy’s dime but not so much now that she has to earn it. Is it possible that Lisa didn’t really realize how awful Stassi is before the show? It is possible you know – I know that young people are very different around their friends than they are around their friends mom’s. I really can’t believe those girls are all friends with Stassi though – even in my 20′s I would have never put up with someone like that as my ‘bestie’…yikes!!!!

14. 14
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    I can’t keep the names of the staff straight. So far we’ve got the horrible StassiInfection and Sclera drama and the utterly ludicrous plot line that rubbing sunscreen on someone’s back is enough to induce wild jealousy and cause a breakup, because he’s only a good boyfriend 80% of time. Yawn. Have I got that right? I’ve got hangnails that are more exciting. Yeah, buddy that StassiInfection is a keeper. So, Lisa is keeping her on staff because she’s Pandorka’s bestest friend?

15. 15
    crankyguy
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:04 pm

    I’m happy this show exists if for no other reason than I can imagine that it really pisses off both Vyle and Ad that Lisa got her very own show with her name on it and they did not. You know those two bitches are jealous. You just know it.

16. 16
    labowner
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Cranky until you watch the train wreck.

17. 17
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 6:50 pm

    I hope the show DOES piss off Vyle and Twitch. Then it would have a single redeeming quality.

18. 18
    Catherine
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    I already went through this on the watch what crappens website, but this show is amazing in the worst ‘saddle ranch’ kind of way. Everyone’s awful with no redeeming qualities which makes the best recap and trash talking fodder! And if you haven’t listened to watch what crappens and you love bravo, you need to!

19. 19
    Tmurda
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 3:20 am

    Hm…..where do I even start. This needs to be in list form, I think. That’s the only way I am able to NOT post a whole novel. Ok…
    1) Stacci has that overly-plump, hangy jowles (joules? sp?) thing going on, and it’s not cute.
    2) I have worked at a million restaraaunts/bars in the past, and am very familiar with the ”
    initiation” bullshit that most often comes along with being the rookie. Once I realized that it was just a nother fucking waitress gig, I had no desire to be liked by the in-group of the staff, nor did I see anything cool or admirable about them. The coolest kids in waiter school, eh? AWESOME. I’m glad at least YOU think you’re important. I just came here to make money and go home, sooooo the shit-talking you circulated all night was a favor, in the end, cause I was making tips while you ran your mouth, so peace, I have shopping to do!
    3) I was educated on something important that Stacci is completely unaware of. See, I worked at a particular bar for almost 5years, so along the way, I became the head bitch with a drinking problem. I was mean, ruthless, overboard, and it was constant. I talked so much shit to the other cool girls, and they laughed along, as did the managers. I wasnt as bitchy to girl’s faces as stacci is, but the whole oblivious factor was much like Stacci’s. I got so caught up, that I missed how much of an asshole i’d become, and although I made people laugh, they actually didnt really like me anymore!!! I’d reached that level of rediculous that mean people eventually get to, where i’d gotten so carried away that I was just cruel and almighty in my attitude, and it makes others get fed up and lose all respect for that person. One day, I was exposed to one of my “victims”, and had to fess up to the ugliness i’d spread behind her back, and it sunk in thati’d actually hurt a person that didnt deserve it whatsoever. EVERYONE turned on me as they gathered in support of her, and I STILL am haunted by it. Meaning, I never meant to hurt anyone, I just didnt expect to be exposed, or have to own the monster i’d become. I felt guilty on a level id never felt, and offered her the best apology I could, and she said she forgave me. know she didnt mean it, and understood 100%. I was a joke from then on at that job, and it was a major lesson in my life. I felt major deja vu when watching the scene of epi 1, where stacci was chatting at home with her girls, and they were suggesting she give scheana a chance and whatnot, stacci refused, and cracked jokes through it all, while they half-assed a laugh to go with hers. The attitude of the other girls was an annoyed one, NOT an impressed or ammused one. I PROMISE, her reign will end if she doesn’t find a rational, humble, less-childish way of bullying others. You watch, guys…..I put money on it.
    4) Why the fuck does Scheana owe STACCI an explanation reguarding the affair!?!?!? ITS NONE OF STACCIS FUCKING BUSINESS! She made a mistake. As has Stacci, I’m sure. I used to shoot up, but I don’t spill my guts and defend my past addiction to some cunt I just met at my new job!! WHY would one be required to justify ANYTHING to a new co-worker? (Queen Bee or not!) FUCK STACCI!
    5) When will bitches like Stacci learn? If you “forbid” ur man to associate/interact with another chick for no valid reason other than a precautionary measure to keep them from hooking up, then you have basically accomplished the opposite of what you wanted. My fiance even agreed, saying that his ex-wife constantly accused him of being attracted to her BFF. He’d never considered the friend hot, but after a while of his wife beating it into his head that he wanted to fuck her BFF, HE SUDDENLY COULDNT STOP THINKING ABOUT FUCKING HER! Men want what they cant have, and nagging them with accusations of wanting it makes it appear very desirable. Men are dumb, and if you bark into their ear that they cant like something you are assuming they like, whether they liked it to begin with or not, their brains are like “duh….maybe I DO like her?! Apparently, there’s something I really want with that girl, and I will now fantasize about what secrets might lie in being with her, until I HAVE TO have it!” Stacci has fobid her way to getting cheated on……again. Bitch, you better learn. A smart woman can act as if she has REAL confidence, and no other woman is competition, and it’s authentic. If you’re a jealous psycho, no one is buying it. Dumbass.
    6) Scheana is doing EXACTLY what id do if I were her. Dont get me wrong, I’d never flirt with or go after another chick’s BF/Hubby for real, but Stacci is that chick I’d just enjoy FUCKING with! I’d get under her skin all day long by acting JUST FRIENDLY enough to make her crazy, but not QUITE enough to appear out of line or as if i’m trying to impress him. “Friendly”, but not with the air of an agenda. Just cool, making new friends, and doing what friends do….s/a applying sunscreen so my new friend doesnt get a burned back. They fight, she looks more psycho by the minute, and he enjoys my drama-free company more and moreI t’s so easy. Hoes like Stacci do it to themselves.
    7) Tom has, I guess, over-focused on his hair do to the point of completely missing how unattractive his teeth are. Less hair product, more invisalign. Hey, Gap Daddy, you’re the one saying you want to be famous. Unless he is aware, but has decided to go all “America’s Next Top Model Contestant” on us, pretending it’s a “signature” characteristic. Please God, no. I pray he just hasn’t seen them.
    8) I’d tell my boss to fuck off if they told me to wear a hankerchief to work. It makes sense why they have an issue at that place with shitty servers. If I had to work in that, i’d be a lazy ass, too! I aint stocking the beer cooler, sweeping under tables, lugging glass racks to the dishwasher in the kitchen, etc wearing a napkin and zero undergarments.
    8) Don’t work with a BF/GF. You will hate life…and each other.
    9) I actually slept in my car one night toward the end of a long-term relationship in my past, and believe it or not, it was the EXACT event that told me for 100% sure that things were truely over.
    11) Lastly, I actually recapped Saddle Ranch, and am jealous of you for actually getting to cap this bunch. The Saddle Ranch crew also acted as most servers/bartenders who still consider such a job to be cool, and were in competition to be top dawg. And if I remember correctly, there was also a main couple on the show who spent each episode fighting, as the chick repeatedly acted like a lunatic, the dude eventually just shrug ging off the crazy cause there isnt a right way to handle it, and then the inevitable break up/makeup. He tells her he’s fed up, she pretends to take responsibility for being retarded, and he gives her ONE LAST CHANCE…….till the next night, anyway. Good luck with this one!! You’re gonna make me laugh all season!
    12) I want Schaena to fuck Jax more than I wanted Kim Richards to stay NOT sober! I think…..yeah, cuz Kim is still hilarious, so Scheana better ride that boy like the homewrecking, mistress waiter, pop-moaner, rookie slut that she is!!! And if it were a perfect world, we could watch her stroll into her next shift, walk up to Stacci, and whisper in her ear “I sucked your BF’s dick last night….”, then watch Stacci’s head explode. Ah, dare to dream.

20. 20
    Teri
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 8:12 am

    @Tmurda – # 12 was hilarious!!! I would love to see that happen!

21. 21
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 8:26 am

    Way back in the vortex of time, c. 1972 in college, I worked as a cocktail waitress, but I never had to wear a tie-dyed napkin with no bra. At least in episode two they seem to have changed the outfit. I don’t remember working with such a bunch of tools either, but then there was a lot more smoking going on then drinking. Seven shots in a row–Greedy much?

22. 22
    crankyguy
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Tmurda, you reminded me of Sam Kinison talking about this ex-wife. She was telling him, pointing to her mouth, “You can have this,” and pointing to her crotch, “and you can have this,” and then pointing to her ass, “but, NOT this.”

    “WELL I NEVER WANTED IT ‘TIL YOU TOLD ME I COULDN’T HAVE IT!”

23. 23
    Tmurda
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 10:46 am

    @crankyguy-LOL. I mean FOR REAL, tho!!! What kind of moron “FORBIDS” her BF to accociate with another female who has done nothing personally to her, or her man?! I WISH my man would try and tell me who I can be friends with! If I ever “forbid” him to do ANYTHING, he’d laugh in my face, and rightfully so. She’s the dumbest bitch ever. He might be worse, though. He lets her order him around like her little bitch. PATHETIC!!! It’s borderline of snapping her fingers, followed by him dropping what he’s doing to cater to her every direction/request. DOUCHE. And it’s pretty funny how she busts her ass to monitor the sitch during the entire shift, as if the less interaction Jax has w/ Scheana, the slimmer the chances he’ll see/decide that she’s pretty, but then we see him 5mins later poorly hitting on some not-all-that-gorgeous server while out with his buddy! HAHA. IT DIDN’T WORK, STACCI!!! LOSER

24. 24
    Jude
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    This show is ridiculous and can’t believe I’m sucked in, but then I was sucked into Sunset Tan!Where to start? Stassi is ridiculous and to me not even that pretty. Scheana is actually the prettiest girl on the show. And the guys-any guy that spends more time on their hair is not manly enough for me! But then again, I live in Chicago and not LaLa Land. Enjoying the comments and glad to know I’m not the only one sucked into this trainwreck! Love, love Lisa though! I think she is very motherly and understands Stassi, but c’mon she is a spoiled brat that went to some girls school New Orleans. I mean who gives a f**k! Bravo is my drug I swear-onto the Shahs recap next.

25. 25
    labowner
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 4:07 pm

    There is a Q&A blog post with Stassi. She is so fucking clueless. The comments are amusing.

26. 26
    selfabsorbed
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    @labowner I stumbled across that Q & A with Stassi the Terrible and I was tickled pink with the comments. There were seventy some comments, and yes I need a hobby so I read them all, and only two were pro Stassi. I have since then spent my time dreaming of the content of the comments that Bravo didn’t post because they must have been awful (read: AMAZING) if that was the best the Bravo comment minions could do.

    After typing this out I have decided to start actively working on finding a hobby…. I spent way to much time today on Stassi and her army of vapid-”ridiculously attractive”-fame mongering-slightly simple-cohorts

27. 27
    brzysmom12
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 12:14 am

    I don’t know if this has been mentioned or not but this isn’t the first rodeo stassi has been to as far as reality tv. She was on a show called Queen Bees back in ’07 or ’08 – not too sure but I remembered her name since stassi and bitch were often used in the same sentence. It was another horrible show trying to change these rich, entitled mean girls into more tolerable human beings – obvious FAIL! Just to put it out there – NO I am not jealous of her, don’t EVER want to be her and doing my best to raise my daughter to never ever ever (ugh Taylor) be like her. I still don’t understand why Jax wants to even be with her at all. He should be running away as fast as his wasted self and legs could carry him. (captcha code for Jax: Protect your stuff – ha!)

28. 28
    Classy Drunk
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 6:33 am

    @Jude…I LOVED Sunset Tan. I was so sad when it didn’t come back.

29. 29
    Teri
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 7:06 am

    Another bit of Stassi trivia – Stassi Schroeder and her family competed on CBS’s The Amazing Race 8 and finished in 7th place.

    She finished last on \Queen Bees\ . Shocking isn’t it?? LOL

30. 30
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 8:56 am

    @brzymom12 and @Teri Good sleuthing. I don’t remember her from Amazing Race 8 at all. I vaguely remember a really annoying family that got booted early on.

31. 31
    labowner
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Wow so we getting to the saturation point of reality TV as we are starting to see the same faces. Lana from Sin City Rules was on $1M dollar weddings and Dr. Phil. Someone noticed BB contestants on RHOM. The creep guy Thomas was on RHOA and RHOM etc.

    Self I hear ya on the getting a hobby. I couldn’t help but fall down the worm hole and read those comments.

32. 32
    Gypsy
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 9:25 am

    HOLD UP! lisa got fired from Bravo @comment 12??? Did I miss something?

33. 33
    Gypsy
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 10:01 am

    Another cross over was the Brawny “Plumber” on Millionaire Matchmaker who was set up with the, as Patti put it “Humpty Dumpty” Blonde who had to have pink everything. He dated Lynn on RHOC on her season.

    Hollywood isn’t that big…

    Re: Jax…guys he is already cheating! PLEASE! A man that age, grifting off of a younger girl who causes fights just so he can leave for the night or ‘sleep in the car’? I know @Tmurda has her own experiences and they are the real deal but, I’ve had mine too and the losers I dated pulled that shit just so they could go out and cheat. This I know b/c these were the days before cellphone locks and, butt dials were ramapant. I caught more than one guy in the act that way after a night of fighting followed by leaving. Please…he knows what he’s doing. He’s on TV no? He’s living for free, no? So he has tp put up with Staffinfection for a few months until he can climb a rung higher…so easy to see.

34. 34
    featherhead
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    @gypsy – I totally agree! At first I was questioning why Jax was soo upset that Stassi dumped him, especially when he acts like he hares her. Then I remembered her comments that he lives with her rent free – then it totally made sense.

    Lisa was in the wrong for reprimanding Jax at work when Stassi was the one who came up to him about not driving her to work and wouldn’t let it go.