Minicap: Vanderpump Rules

Vanderpump Rules

By Alejandra | Monday, January 21, 2013 | 11:13 pm | 7 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Vanderpump Rules

Holy scandal, Batman!  Jax is even more of a prick than we thought!  Or he isn’t, and Frank is an evil genius.  I could end the minicap there and no one could call me a liar.  But they could call me an asshole, so I won’t!

In Stassi and Jax news, thankfully, their breakup is real and not a staged little two-day break.  Good.  If only it stopped them complaining about each other.  Katie and Kristen are pro Jax and Stassi reunification because it’ll be way less awkward when they all hang out.  Jax is all of a sudden more in love with Stassi than he’s been with any other woman, so he spends most of the episode trying to get her back.  He almost succeeds, but then Frank, another bartender at Sur who, inexplicably, is also hot for Stassi, tells everyone that Jax done got some girl pregnant in Vegas two months before.  Whhhhaaaaat???  Stassi is understandably upset, but when she tells Kristen and Katie about it, both other women are all, “Uh, Frank told you this?  Frank who wants to bone you?  And you totally believe him?”  I don’t know who to believe.  Apparently the girl had an abortion, so there’s no asking her.  UGH.  If this were a REAL soap opera someone would’ve had a paternity test done before that bitch had a chance to hit the clinic.

In other news, Kristen goes on a photo shoot and meets some girl that her boyfriend Tom had sex with 47 years ago when they WEREN’T TOGETHER and then loses her damn mind about it.  She looks like she’s going to puke for the rest of the photo shoot.  It’s kind of an improvement on the horsefaced look of superiority she usually wears, though, so I’m sure the client was pleased. 

Finally, because she’s so upset about Jax’s indiscretions, Stassi doesn’t show up to work for two shifts in a row.  So Lisa has one of the managers take Stassi off the schedule and puts Scheana in her place.  Ha!  Sometimes the drama writes itself. 

See you in a few days with the full recap!

About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

7 Comments

  1. 1
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    ok, first off, who the fuck texts their manager to tell them they are not coming in for work!

    Kristen is a dumb bitch! Hell My husband met an ex-boyfriend of mine once. Ex boyfriend cheated on my, while we were living together! I just packed my shit and left…left a few things behind and wanted them back…so yeah I took my husband to go and get my shit…Said ex and I were together for a long time, so my hubby just assumed we had slept together…So yeah Kristen you are a dumb bitch!! Although Stassi was an even bigger twat for yelling “hey did you sleep with Tom”..

    Jax is a raging douche and He isn’t even that cute!
    So is Frank.

    Looking forward to the full recap!!

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Could one hate Stassi any more? Again Lisa you are made to look like a fool for keeping these losers around.

  3. 3
    Miss Molly
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Kinda bummed that I can’t call Stassi and Jax … Stax any more.
    But then I do get to call Stassi and Frank … Stank.!

  4. 4
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    MM – you are on fire today.

  5. 5
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    Stank! Nice!!!!!
    And lab I totally agree! This show makes Lisa look like a phony and a fool

  6. 6
    Tmurda
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    Yeah, a person dedicated to getting in your pants isn’t the most reliable source of accurate info on your bf/gf. The only time I have ever felt jealous during my relationship with my now-fiance was when he met an old sorta-friend of mine through other friends, and she is gorgeous. She also is TOTALLY the exact type of girl he is into, so the second they became FB friends, I casually confided in him that his new friend was once cheated on by a BF who gave her herpes as a result, and the poor thing was so obsessed with the guy that she stayed with him for a while after that. I even added a “It was SOOO sad!”. Mission Accomplished. In one statement, I gave the girl the Herp, and a total lack of self-respect (both massive turn-offs for him). Since then, it’s like she never existed…..much like her Herpes. Anyway, isn’t impregnating another chick cancelled out when it occured in vegas, and ended with an abortion? The additional factor of Stacci’s cunt-ness makes it entirely excusable, IMO.

  7. 7
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Cold blooded Tmurda, cold as ice.

    I like it.

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