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Holy scandal, Batman! Jax is even more of a prick than we thought! Or he isn’t, and Frank is an evil genius. I could end the minicap there and no one could call me a liar. But they could call me an asshole, so I won’t!
In Stassi and Jax news, thankfully, their breakup is real and not a staged little two-day break. Good. If only it stopped them complaining about each other. Katie and Kristen are pro Jax and Stassi reunification because it’ll be way less awkward when they all hang out. Jax is all of a sudden more in love with Stassi than he’s been with any other woman, so he spends most of the episode trying to get her back. He almost succeeds, but then Frank, another bartender at Sur who, inexplicably, is also hot for Stassi, tells everyone that Jax done got some girl pregnant in Vegas two months before. Whhhhaaaaat??? Stassi is understandably upset, but when she tells Kristen and Katie about it, both other women are all, “Uh, Frank told you this? Frank who wants to bone you? And you totally believe him?” I don’t know who to believe. Apparently the girl had an abortion, so there’s no asking her. UGH. If this were a REAL soap opera someone would’ve had a paternity test done before that bitch had a chance to hit the clinic.
In other news, Kristen goes on a photo shoot and meets some girl that her boyfriend Tom had sex with 47 years ago when they WEREN’T TOGETHER and then loses her damn mind about it. She looks like she’s going to puke for the rest of the photo shoot. It’s kind of an improvement on the horsefaced look of superiority she usually wears, though, so I’m sure the client was pleased.
Finally, because she’s so upset about Jax’s indiscretions, Stassi doesn’t show up to work for two shifts in a row. So Lisa has one of the managers take Stassi off the schedule and puts Scheana in her place. Ha! Sometimes the drama writes itself.
See you in a few days with the full recap!