Minicap: Vanderpump Rules

Recaps

By Alejandra | Monday, January 7, 2013 | 11:26 pm | 21 Comments
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Posted in: Recaps

Hey, y’all.  Welcome to Sur – the hottest restaurant in LA, the hippest restaurant in LA, the sexiest restaurant in LA!  I’m taking this from the promo – I haven’t actually been there/read about it/wanted to do either.  Though, the fact that I haven’t been there is absolutely a point in its favor regarding its trendiness.

In case this is your very first recap or very first episode of a show on Bravo, here’s a little backstory.  Lisa Vanderpump Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, owns two restaurants in LA with her husband Ken.  The first is Villa Blanca, in Beverly Hills, and the second is Sur, in West Hollywood.  She’s been awarded a spin-off that will document the trials and tribulations of the tragically beautiful staff of Sur. 

For our first minicap, here’s the breakdown:

Lisa continues to be awesome and looks down on everyone that happens to cross her path.  She is not wrong to do so in 99% of all situations.  Love her.  She rules with an iron fist over a staff of people who spend the entire episode calling each other out on being famewhores, then interview that they’re in LA to be famous.  Natch.  The pre-packaged drama?  Schean, a Villa Blanca server who moved to Sur, has admitted to sleeping with Eddie Cibrian (the former Mr. Glanville and the current Mr. Rimes) and now everyone hates her.  Well, that’s not totally accurate.  This crazy bitch named Stassi hates her, and since Stassi apparently rules the roost, she makes all the other servers and bartenders (one of whom, Jax,  is her boyfriend) promise to hate Scheana.  And before you think I’m being unfair to Stassi, she straight up calls herself a bitch in an interview, so while I’m sure she’s getting the bitch edit, she’s literally asked for it.  Fair game. 

Scheana’s only mistake thus far, besides an ill-advised demo tape, seems to be actually admitting to having slept with Eddie Cibrian.  There is virtually no other reason to dislike her.  She works hard, wants people to like her and eventually stands up to Stassi when Stassi’s bullying results in extra sidework (Server Code Violation – for SHAME!).  I’m probably more morally corrupt than Scheana is because after Stassi wigs on Scheana for wearing the same color dress as her, I kind of want Scheana to bone Jax in the bathroom ASAP.  Team Scheana, Gasmii.  ‘Cause bitches ain’t shit.

As for the others, they are many and TWO of them are named Tom.  And before you say, “Alejandra, just refer to them as Tom A. and Tom B. in accordance with their last names!” I can’t!  Both of their last names begin with an S!  And they might as well be twins.  One will be referred to as Tom Dating Kristen and the other will be referred to as Tom until I can find another distinguishing characteristic.

Kristen is another server at Sur along with Katie, and they both seem fine, so far.  Didn’t get to know them very well.  They’re brunettes…?  The two are best friends with Stassi, Jax and the two Toms and together they make one big happy Sur family.  Well, a Sur family, at the very least.  Considering that Jax insults his girlfriend with his manager all the while flirting with another girl within the first 15 minutes, I don’t have high hopes for everyone’s friendships come the end of Season 1. 

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 7:07 am

    I was pissed Bravo tried to force me to watch by saying that RHOBH was going to be on for 2 hours. I was watching the fight between Brandi and S (can’t spell that girl’s name) and then all of a sudden Vanderpump Rules is on.

    I planned to watch. Just on my own time.

  2. 2
    Miss Molly
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Stassinfection is the new Faye Resnick.

  3. 3
    City Girl
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    Because my \human verification\ is button fly (which seems to be fitting for this show), I must ask… why can no one have a plain, old fashioned spelled name these days? Ugh. Between TNT, the Gypsies, RHOM, and all the rest, I want to scream!

  4. 4
    Robin Robin
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    Somebody please help me out here. Remember that show about the bar with the 20 somethings who got into fights every episode, then one of the gals got into a fight with a stripper who showed up at a party at the home of the guy with the girlfriend who had alot of tatts?

    I am pretty sure it was recapped here but for the life of me, I can’t remember what the title of the show was. I don’t see it on the Hot Show list, probably because it wasn’t.

    In any case, this show reminds me of that show. The only thing I like about this one is that Lisa is there.

    TC, Robin

  5. 5
    crazy rooster
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    Robin
    was it saddle ranch?

  6. 6
    Nads
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    @City Girl – Because all crazy actors and actresses in Hollywood spell their name weird. It’s a thing, but they swear it’s not! It’s so ridic!

  7. 7
    Robin Robin
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    Yes it was, Crazy Rooster! Thank You. It was driving me crazy trying to remember the name.

    Robin

  8. 8
    smarlo
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 8:01 pm

    Oh God! I couldn’t get through the 1st 10 minutes!! Who gives a fuck? It’s servers, I can’t get worked up about the exciting lives of servers.

    Did it get any better after the 1st 10 minutes? I still have it in the DVR. Should I bother going back to watch it???

  9. 9
    Robin Robin
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    I didn’t much care for it, smarlo

    It reminded me of a low budget show like Saddle Ranch and I was disapointed.

    I was expecting a show about Lisa and how she ran her business. I wanted to see her involved with the kitchen, the front of the house, changing menu items and her exquisite taste when it comes to the flowers. I wasn’t expecting a show about a bunch of classless fools.

    TC, Robin

  10. 10
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 12:01 am

    ♫ Scheana is a star fucker ♫

    (Sorry. Somebody was going to do it sooner or later. Even though he’s not much of a star)

    Stassi calls Scheana somebody she wouldn’t surround herself with. Which is 2 times stupid. 1 because you can’t surround yourself with 1 person. And 2 she doesn’t mind surrounding 2 yrs worth of herself with a boy that talks about them having sex. In his 1st ever scene that’s supposed to be where he introduces himself to the tv viewing world.

    Then she turns around and insults people’s stuck up Swedish relatives. Plus either tells a lie about her mama. Or throws her under the bus for being Delusiona. Which is not to say that people’s stuck up relatives don’t ever have bad judgment. Or a baby on the wrong side of the blanket. Whether they’re Swedish or not.

    I ♥ Lisa. You know the only reason she started that restaurant was to get a spin off. I bet she picked Stassi for the same reason.

    Her daughter’s friend my left hind foot. For 1 thing Pandora’s a grown ass woman. That’s old enough to walk down the aisle and get pronounced man and beard by the power vested in the internet.

    You’d have to be able to jack your disbelief up to the ceiling to believe Lisa’d let anybody cray cray as Stassi get within 50 ft of all that breakable glass unless Miss Andy was paying for it.

    @Robin “… I wasn’t expecting a show about a bunch of classless fools…”

    You weren’t? Have you met Bravo?

  11. 11
    Robin Robin
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 12:13 am

    I guess not.. I expected that if Lisa put her stamp on it, it wouldn’t be as bad as it is.

    It is trash and I rekon I didn’t expect her to sell out.

  12. 12
    2muchbravo
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:00 am

    OMG I couldn’t get past the first 10 minutes. Life’s too short to waste an hour watching a bunch of whiny 20-somethings bitch and moan about how hard their life is being servers in Southern California.
    I, too, expected more from a show with Lisa’s name on it.

    Thanks for taking a bullet for us Alejandra.

  13. 13
    shantigal
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:05 am

    I couldn’t be more uncool if I tried. Not only did I watch this, I went to high school and am FB friends with Tom-dating-Kristen’s mom.

  14. 14
    caligal
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:13 am

    I put the names of these people into the Toddlers and Taras name translator, and here is what it said…
    Stassi = Stacy
    Scheananana = Shana
    Jax = Douche

    I don’t know if I will keep watching. Too many unlikeable people and too little Lisa, but I’ll read the recaps. My captcha is “bone dry”. Not a good sign, especially for a bar.

  15. 15
    WaffleBoy
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 7:27 am

    Oh you learn something new every time you watch Bravo. Stassi? Who would have thought that the girl who’s name is an extra s away from having the the name of the East German secret police would have a tude?

  16. 16
    TivoGirl
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 8:10 am

    I love Lisa but this show is just awful, well based on the first 5-10 minutes because that is all I could tolerate. The whining and bad rendition of The L Word’s relationship mapping in the intro was enough for me.

  17. 17
    labowner
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 10:14 am

    I am utterly shocked that Lisa allows her employees to behave as such. Makes Lisa look like a fraud from what I have seen on RHBH.

    If Lisa cares so much about her customer, why have a show at one of your restaurants?

  18. 18
    Gypsy Gypsy
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    Ok, haven’t seen this yet but dying to say, whoever the fug one is on the commercial who says “they’re all really attracticve, sorry!” is the most hideous of the bunch.

    Fuck that.

  19. 19
    selfabsorbed
    Posted January 9, 2013 at 6:47 pm

    Hello everyone! I am a lurker/occasional participant in the gasm. Stassi in all of her awful glory has inspired me to comment.

    I have served on and off for 8 years. I am currently a server in Chicago and I have some random observations as someone in the industry.

    1. No one who is in the industry and not a complete asshole would say “waitress” while waving their hand. SO RUDE! The term waitress is kind of demeaning, especially when combined with a hand gesture or snapping .

    2. The waiver ordered Don Julie-O…. its pronounced Hulio, so now I know that kid is an asshole.

    3. When they were talking about pooling tips I almost choked on the food I was eating. Pooling tips is AWFUL. All it does is encourage people to be lazy because you get the same amount of money as everyone else no matter how much work you do.

    4. Stassi the horrible would love pooling tips because she is lazy.

    5. Most of the scenes of the staff “working” were obviously fake, why don’t they have drink tickets at the bar and what establishments allows its staff to openly drink like that?

    6. Stassi told her manager he is a dick and she wasn’t fired? Come on Bravo at least pretend that these people are decent employees and not just around for the cameras.

    Sorry this was so long, I was outraged by this show. I am a HUGE Lisa fan but this show is just annoyingly fake. Every cast member said in the first episode that their ambition in life is to be famous. I don’t find vapid, average looking famewhores that give the midwest a bad name to be all that interesting.

  20. 20
    toomuchtv
    Posted January 10, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    Realy disappointed that Lisa would produce and promote this crap. I felt myself losing brain cells as I watched the other night. My sympathy is with you Alejandra at having to watch this every week and do your recaps. In spite of the total dreck that is this show, I know you will do a great job with the recaps.

  21. 21
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 11, 2013 at 8:05 am

    I guess Blavo was afraid people wouldn’t watch, because I had no intention of watching and was duped into watching by the segue from RHoBH. What’s her name, Sclera? Sceana, Sheena,? whatever and Stassi. Ho hum. Pooling tips is beyond stupid, it just enables the lazy like Staff infection. I don’t think I want people wearing gauzy little scarfs with no undergarments serving me food.

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