Hey, Whale Wars warriors. I don’t know about you, but I’m really digging the fourth season and its fantastic satirical streak underlying everything. The show drove home the point that Sea Shepherd’s morale was at an all-time high coming off their successful third season, and then proceeded to show Sea Shepherd fucking up in a variety of ways. And the best part is, none of these fuck-ups are new. They’ve all pretty much happened before.
Picking up from last week, the Steve Irwin and the Bob Barker are both being tailed by whaling ships, preventing them from finding their main target, the Nisshin Maru. Their only hope is using their super-fast Gojira to outrun their tails. But…the Gojira is out of fuel. They don’t say how or why this happened.
So to kick things off, Sea Shepherd has to attempt an incredibly dangerous and risky boat-to-boat refueling operation. At this point, the show takes us back to last season to remind us of the sinking of the Ady Gil. Remember how horrible that was? (If you don’t remember: it was horrible). The Ady was sunk during the course of…a dangerous ship-to-ship refueling operation. The Ady had to come to a full stop to refuel, allowing the Shonan Maru to crash into/trip over the Ady, depending on your bent. And with another whaling ship in the vicinity, Paul Watson is worried it will happen again.
The Steve Irwin dispatches a Delta boat to harass the whalers, letting the refueling operation go forward. First, the Steve Irwin and the Gojira must link up using a “bow line”–which is basically the same thing as a prop fouler, a long rope, but meant to connect the boats, not fuck up their propellers.
Which is precisely what happens. The Gojira crew messes up and the rope gets wrapped tightly around their propeller. (At least we get to see what a prop fouler would do if Sea Shepherd actually got those things to work, right?! Right). A diver is dispatched to cut the rope free.
While that’s going on, the Bob Barker has entered one of the whales’ feeding grounds to look for the Nisshin Maru. They figure the rest of the fleet would still be in this vicinity, even if they know Sea Shepherd is headed right for them. And sure enough, there’s a blip on their radar! Back on the Irwin, Chris Aultman, the helicopter pilot, is summoned to investigate this blip. And that’s when they discover: the helicopter battery’s dead. Time to get the jumper cables!
And I was totally joking, but that’s exactly what they do. Soon the helicopter is in the air headed for the mysterious ship.
Meanwhile, the Gojira has managed to untangle itself and get fueled up, and Paul Watson orders the Gojira to distract the Steve Irwin‘s trailer ship so the Irwin can sneak away. Unfortunately, that’s exactly when the Gojira loses an engine for no apparent reason. (So I blame an Animal Planet producer who wanted to amp up the drama). Things are pretty shitty back at the Barker, too. Chris Aultman has made it to the spot where the blip is, but it’s too foggy for him to see anything. All he can do is land on the Barker and wait.
But then, the Bob Barker‘s tailing ship approaches, its water cannons blasting. If the helicopter were to be sprayed with water it’d be all sorts of fucked up. Chris Aultman jumps back into the chopper to escape, and…the battery shits itself AGAIN.
And that’s the note we’re left with: the Steve Irwin trying to shake a tail for an entire episode and failing miserably, and Barker possibly losing their helicopter because somebody left the headlights on overnight. Nothing even RESEMBLING progress has been made. So, as good as things might get for the Sea Shepherds, let’s all remember that disaster is always five minutes away. Even if the Sea Shepherds forget that themselves.
And how about those whalers, huh? I know, I know, they’re dicks for killing the whales and all that…but they sure are good at it. That’s the kind of dick you have to watch out for.