MiniCap: The X Factor

Last night’s X Factor was like a state fair happening at the circus taking place inside a Thai night club attached to a strip club in Prague. There was a whole lot going on and I’m gonna do my best to make some coherent sense of it all.

See the girl in the shirt there? Yeah, she was the best one.

162 acts made it through the audition rounds and into last night’s boot camp. On the first day of boot camp, after dancing as one massive group (except for 14-year-old rapper wannabe Brian, who pouted like a baby and refused to participate), all of the acts sang individually and then 62 were sent home.

The remaining contestants were divided into groups and were given envelopes with a song in them and five hours to rehearse with vocal coaches, stylists and a choreographer dressed as a drab big bird.

Standouts for good performances include:
– Audrey Turner, wife of the late, abusive Ike Turner
– Drew Rynwiczskiziopaloobop
– The Anser
– Melanie Amarro
– Paige Olge, who the judges thought was a star, but one of those stars I just don’t get
– Old Man Leroy Bell
– Josh “Burrito Man” Krajcik, who seemed to be the only one in his group who remembered the words to “Superman”
– Tiah Tolliver, who caused the judges to throw food at one another during auditions because they couldn’t agree on putting her through
– Rachel Crow
– Ellona Santiago
– Makenna & Brock
– And 12-year-old Emily, who said she doesn’t like to sing in front of people who are going to talk to her afterwards. Erm, yeah, best of luck with that, chickie.

Standing out for all the wrong reasons:
– Dexter Haygood forgot his lyrics and recycled his James Brown routine from his audition
– Jazzlyn Little forgot her lyrics
– Stacy Francis, who cried repeatedly last night and then forgot to wear pants to the group performance undersold herself to make up for the overkill she did the day before
– Skyelor, the black kid who wants to be a country singer, was totally lost and just terrible
– Brian Bradley, the 14-year-old who refused to dance forgot the lyrics to “Wishing on a Star” and was then upstaged by a GIRL (you could tell that really got to him)
– Nick Dean,14, also forgot his lyrics and then had a total meltdown and stood on stage in silence while everyone performed around him

And there was a whole lot of mediocrity in between. There are still far too many contestants for the show to cover all of them. Things will get really interesting — and a whole lot less frenetic — on Thursday night after they cut the current 100 to 32 acts.

Who do you think should be sent packing Thursday night? Who should definitely stay? Who do you think shouldn’t have even made it to boot camp? Can someone explain Siameze Floyd to me? Cause I think they’re gonna put him through…