Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

Miscellaneous TV

By sg-dub | Saturday, November 12, 2005 | 2:56 pm | 68 Comments

TradingSpouses1.jpeg Alot of TVgasm readers have begged for a recap of the double Trading Spouses episode that aired over the last couple weeks. I did happen to see most of each episode, but it was one of those momentous television events that stood on its own. Plus, as a devotee of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I am afraid to delve into the world of making fun of Christian Warriors for God too much. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? If you appear on reality TV, you’re fair game. And if you’re completely batshit insane, all the better.

With Pat Robertson condemning tiny Dover, PA to a natural disaster of some sort and the Weavers invoking God whenever their selfish needs desire on The Amazing Race, Crazy Christians are popping up all over my TV. Enter Margaret Perrin on Trading Spouses. I am not about to recap the two episodes – or even come close to doing so – but I will offer a few observations after the jump. If you didn’t see the show, or at least the previews or postscripts on show’s like Best Week Ever or Reality Remix, you won’t have any appreciation for Margaret. But if you did… hoo, boy. From Louisiana, Mrs. Perrin is a disturbingly obese proseltizing nutbag. She sees God (or the lack thereof) everywhere. She screams bloody murder – sounding exactly like South Park’s Ms. Crabtree (RIP).

Long story short, she swapped with some perfectly nice lady from Massachusetts. The MA lady is into Wicca and astrology and all sorts of woo-woo nonsense like that. She lived with Margaret’s family for several days, got accosted by Margaret’s Crazy friends, and ended up getting along very well with the Perrin family. Boring.

Poor Margaret didn’t fare so well up in darksided Massachusetts. She dry-heaved from being morbidly obese with a dash of anxiety disorder. Or, as Margaret calls it, “Darksiditis.” At times she had difficulties breathing and sweat profusely due to her 500 pound girth and clogged arteries. Those conditions would be deemed “Satan” in her world.

She freaked out upon meeting some hokey “psychic” as if that phoney baloney kid had powers on the order of the Sith. She forced the pagan kids to go to church and prayed for everyone nonstop. Her eyes bulged, her giant gap toothed scowl grew more psychotic with each passing hour. This went on for a few days and then, finally, FOX gave us what we watched for: The complete meltown of Margaret.

She couldn’t get out of New England fast enough to return back to “God’s country,” Louisiana. Now, I could make a truly tasteless and heartless quip about how God apparently doesn’t treat his “Country” too well (*cough*Katrina*cough*Rita*cough*) but I won’t do that. She waddled furiously through the threshold of her house to greet her happily expectant family. And then… Holy shit.

“AaaAAAaaaAAA! I REBUKE YOU IN THE NAME OF JEEEE-SUS! AAaaaAAAaaAA!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. She scared the crap out of her daughters and chubby chaser husband. She “rebuked” the FOX camera people, she ripped off her jewelry for some reason, and she screeched about the “Darkside” multiple times. She tore up the nice card and allocation of money calling it, “TAINTED!”

Honestly, there’s not much more to add, as I didn’t thoroughly watch the episodes and really, do I want to offend Christians and the overweight anymore than I have already? Here, I’ll end it by making fun of those with giant gap-teeth some more. Look at THIS guy… Jesus Christ!

gaptooth.jpeg

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68 Comments

  1. 1
    borski27
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 4:33 pm

    Nice Mrs. Crabtree reference!

    Though apparently I’m not up to date with my South Park, how did she meet her (guessing untimely) demise?

    “I AM on the bus you dumb skank!”
    “WHAT WAS THAT?”
    “I said..I can’t wait to get a new fishing tank…”
    “Oh. Well me too!”

    I saw two seconds of this episode, but her retching was really getting to me so I just shut it off. Friggin’ insanity.

  2. 2
    K man
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 4:34 pm

    It was Pat Robertson than condem tiny Dover, PA not Jerry Falwell.

    Since I had not watch this series I have nothing funny to add. But I did see the clip of her tripping out on TV and would like to make this one comment. Not everyone who claims to be a christian is really one. I’m not saying she isn’t, but I honestly think this lady has some serious emotional problems.

  3. 3
    Jessica
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 4:34 pm

    That bitch made christians look so crazy. So did her bitchy ass friends.
    Way to cary out gods work crazy ass loons. I doubt you’ll be seeing any new people at your church….unless it’s to get a look at the pshcho.

  4. 4
    Mern Dog
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 4:49 pm

    OMG! I saw both episodes and this wench is in a class all of her own. She treated everyone (including her own family) like shit. She wouldn’t listen to anyone but God, because she claims that God talks to her. Coo-coo. And as far as being a Christian, what’s the deal with the seven deadly sins……isn’t gluttony one fatass?

  5. 5
    sg-dub
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 4:53 pm

    K man –

    Thanks. I’ve fixed it.

  6. 6
    EdHill
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 4:53 pm

    the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Are you insane? You are a filthy filthy heathen. Everyone intelligent knows the one true god is the invisible pink Unicorn.
    http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_pink_unicorn

    You FSM people make me sick.

    TAINTED!!! TAINTED!!!

  7. 7
    B-Side
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 4:57 pm

    This woman was crazy. I Tivoed part 1 but forgot to Tivo part 2. Oh well. Apparently all the good stuff was in part 2.

    She’s a GOD WARRIOR!

  8. 8
    fycin
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 5:01 pm

    My favorite part was how she ripped up the letter about the money (twice, by the way; she tried to rip it up, gave up, then later picked it off the floor and continued to tear), but upon “further review” according to FOX, she decided to take the money. Hmmmm….I wonder why…..(the other wife had given her money for a gastric bypass)

  9. 9
    RyanW
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 5:05 pm

    Her freinds were more bitches then her, because I would say that their is something mentaly wrong with Margaret.

  10. 10
    British
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 6:06 pm

    Mrs. Flicher, the not-so-popular other mom is actually kinda hot. And you know she’s got the weed hookup.

  11. 11
    Mern Dog
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 6:08 pm

    Paris-
    Que?! O sea, no entiendo para nada lo que escribistes. No se si sabes que lo que esta escrito aqui es para el proposito de entretenernos solamente. Bajale y ten una mente abierta.

    Translation:
    Paris-
    What? I don’t understand what you just wrote. I don’t know if you are aware that what was written was for entertainment purposes only. Calm down and have an open mind.

  12. 12
    Brett
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 7:01 pm

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I was one of the people begging for a recap, and I really never thought it would happen. :) YOU RULE SGDUB!

    I was SHOCKED during the show…. but now that I think about it, I am a little sad for her. She has to be nuts. Her family knew it when they were all sitting on the couch listening to her rant. And yes…. I agree…. the best part was her ripping up the note. TWICE.

  13. 13
    Brett
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 7:06 pm

    Oh yes….

    And I thought it was great that the fox cameras centered her ass in every shot possible. Beautiful work there.

    And onre more thing…. I thought it was UNbelievable that this lady said in the cab ride home how she has “seen more in the last week than I wanted to see my whole life” and then goes home to New Orleans. Right. EVERYBODY is a non-sinning Christian in New Orleans. Of all places for her to live, I NEVER would have expected her to be that close minded and holier-than-thou living in New Orleans. ha!

  14. 14
    Ali
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 7:33 pm

    Paul Scheer walked by me twice one day on my campus a few months ago. It was one of the greatest days of my life. Hee.

  15. 15
    sadie
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 7:54 pm

    speechless…..

    clip for all who didn’t get to see it:

    http://65.36.225.227/images/trading-spouses-hi.wmv

  16. 16
    North Louisiana
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 8:34 pm

    What is “dork sided”???

  17. 17
    dorksided
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 8:43 pm

    geeeze, Patty Smyth from Scandal has really let herself go….
    Shooting at the walls of heartache
    Bang, bang
    I am the warrior

  18. 18
    TraderZed
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 9:03 pm

    thanks so much for posting a clip! a friend at school kept telling me about this crazy woman on trading spouses. so glad i could see what she was talking about! best part is when she rips off her jewelery screaming ‘gargoyles!!! psychics!!!’ hahaha it just doesn’t get old..

  19. 19
    Shaydie
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 9:30 pm

    Oh, you got to it first, L!

    Anyway, I saw the woman on Access Hollywood and they gave her a makeover. She looked the same except they dyed her hair burgandy and teased it on top a bit. They showed her watching herself on a portable DVD player and she had to admit she acted pretty bad.

  20. 20
    NOLA
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 10:11 pm

    slykicks?

  21. 21
    Mern Dog
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 10:39 pm

    Mrs. Perrin is a total nut job. I wonder what her community thinks of her and her friends. They were pretty rude too. Did anyone catch when the one friend asks the MA lady if she belives in God or a “higher power”? She actually used hand quoations. Man, if they ever discuss acceptance at their church I hope they pay attention. I also wonder what her pastor had to say.

  22. 22
    Lisa
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 11:13 pm

    I’m SO glad I didn’t watch them b/c really.. I probably would’ve pulled all of my hair out in sheer frustration and anger if I had to watch that fat bitch scream and yell about evil and all that mess.

    Religious narrowminded psychos just piss me off so much.

  23. 23
    Melanie
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 11:38 pm

    Thanks for the clip!

    From what I saw, that woman was damn crazy. Her behaviour was far from God-like.

    Haha, the “gargoyles” bit was fun. I didn’t know gargoyles worked for the Devil.

  24. 24
    lucifer
    Posted November 12, 2005 at 11:55 pm

    is it wrong that i think she’s a total milf, or that i want her to be my new mommy?

  25. 25
    Brian
    Posted November 13, 2005 at 5:08 am

    Not only is this woman a total loon,she’s a sexist loon at that.She gave both the boys in the other family $3,000.00 each but only gave the daughter $1,800.00.what a bitch….

  26. 26
    Michael
    Posted November 13, 2005 at 6:28 am

    And she’s a hypocrite –despite her loony rantings, she ended up taking the money.

    She’s also a neurotic that has beaten down her family – she blames her oldest daughter and denigrates the rest of them for not being as “strong” as her. If you watch the second episode you can see how badly she has poisoned the oldest daughter to verbally beat down the middle daughter. It’s sick.

  27. 27
    JJ
    Posted November 13, 2005 at 9:06 am

    Did I hear her say she saw a zoologist somewhere in that clip??? Zoologists! They’re all demons from hell!

    Glad I’m finally in the loop.

  28. 28
    SaveFerris
    Posted November 13, 2005 at 10:45 am

    This lady was certifiably crazy. Makes you almost hate FOX for taking someone so obviously out of touch with reality and putting them in a situation where you know they will totally freak out (then again, I watched it). The psychic guy on the radio show was such an obvious set up (even thought the husband said “I wasn’t expecting you. What a surprise!”). Also, I had a feeling the questions from the friends to the other mom (the normal one) seemed a bit staged too – like the friends were told to ask her if she was a Christian.

    Also, didn’t she say she took the kids to a Catholic church? Does that mean she is Catholic (would make sense being from Louisiana)? Odd, because you rarely see wacky fundamentalists Catholics. Maybe it is a Louisiana thing.

    Are Crazy Christians the new “must haves” on a reality show? I guess Bostonians are officially out then.

  29. 29
    bcarter3
    Posted November 13, 2005 at 2:56 pm

    “Makes you almost hate FOX for taking someone so obviously out of touch with reality and putting them in a situation where you know they will totally freak out (then again, I watched it).”

    You’ve never seen “The O’Reilly Report’?

  30. 30
    sg-dub
    Posted November 13, 2005 at 3:17 pm

    ^ Nice.

    bcarter3 gets my “Commenter of the Week Award.”

  31. 31
    Publick Skool By
    Posted November 13, 2005 at 8:17 pm

    @SaveFerris: “Also, I had a feeling the questions from the friends to the other mom (the normal one) seemed a bit staged too – like the friends were told to ask her if she was a Christian.”

    Well, there was a scene where the oldest daughter was in the kitchen cooking and she said to Perrin’s friends “did she tell you what she does…?” and once they found out she was a New Age Hypnotherapist thats when they went over to her to tell her she was a bad person… and that she isn’t allowed to sit at the cool table with them during lunch period and that they were going to tell all the boys that she was really a dude so none of them would ask her to the dance.

  32. 32
    dd foo
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 7:29 am

    http://www.zabasearch.com/query1_zaba.php enter her name (“margaret perrin”) and louisiana… then call the crazy bitch up, or send her a post card!

  33. 33
    kdare
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 7:38 am

    My question is, why did the other husband keep calling her Marjorie? Must be part of his “dork sidedness”.

    I never watch this show, but set my TIVO specifically for the Ep. 2 meltdown.

    I LOVED how “Mrs. Busche” Margaret was. Gargoyles is the work of the debil and alligators is honery because they have all ‘dem teef but they ain’t got no toofbrush.

  34. 34
    Kat
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 7:56 am

    Just because you call yourself a Christian does not mean that you are a Christian.

  35. 35
    Tracie
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 8:24 am

    Thanks sadie for that clip. I’m glad I wasn’t watching, I would’ve turned it off and missed that.

    Why oh why do these people get on TV and taint the name of Christ like that? Like I said in reference to the Weavers, we are not all nut-jobs, OK?

  36. 36
    Ashes
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 9:05 am

    I couldn’t get the screen big enough to read the text at the end of the clip. I know it was explaining about the money and saying that she decided to keep it after all. Where did the money come from?

  37. 37
    beth
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 9:15 am

    Oh man, I was so pissed that I missed Part 2 of this Trading Spouses. I really wanted to see Margaret’s meltdown.

    Are you there God, it’s me Margaret. Oh man, thanks for bringing me back a zillion years……

  38. 38
    Stacey
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 9:29 am

    OMG!! We have enough going on in Louisiana right now and then they throw that crazy fat bitch into the mix! People like her make me hate to admit I live in Louisiana

  39. 39
    realiTV fan
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 9:59 am

    The hippie mom was nice and didn’t force her beliefs on the other family. On the other hand, Margaret, the gluttenous pig, pushed herself and her beliefs on anyone in shouting distance. Narrow, nay – closeminded people should just stay tucked away in their safe little corner of the world. And in the case of Margaret, she should probably be locked up somewhere where whe will no longer be a threat to herself or her family.

  40. 40
    Mullethead
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:01 am

    What is a “gargyle”? Is that, like, from Scotland?

    And what is a “shlykick”?

    And how does one “tamper in dorksided stuff”?

    Crazy, crazy, crazy.

    My kids are now walking around SCREAMING “Get out of my house.” (my 3 year old) and “Gargyles, shlykicks!”. (my 11 year old)

    If this woman doesn’t instill a faith in God for all of us, I can’t think of what would.

    And I love how she was so tired from her “spiritual warfare” that she kept having to sit down.

  41. 41
    PoPCouture
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:04 am

    CHECK THIS OUT!!!! hahaha

    http://www.cafepress.com/mileeshop

    LOVE it

  42. 42
    Mullethead
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:08 am

    Oh, and there is no way she is catholic, it was probably just the first church the other family knew to go to. Her fire and brimstone madness is Southern Baptist ALL THE WAY!

  43. 43
    katie
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:16 am

    OMG what a nutbar!!! I feel sorry for the little girls…did you see their faces?! They were horrified! and the so -called “dorksided” people were actually sitting at home peacefully whilst that derranged psychopath scared her children…if that’s what christianity is like I’m a f***ing Satanist 100%

  44. 44
    Leah3t
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:21 am

    I watched this clip about ten times yesterday, and laughed and laughed. However, I did not laugh when I had a dream about that screaming woman. bad bad bad.

  45. 45
    katie
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:33 am

    And another thing, if god talks to her why doesn’t god tell her she is embarrassing herself, scaring her children and why is god beating around the bush about that tooth? Why doesn’t god tell her that maybe people would take her seriously if she didn’t act like a complete moron? If god actually spoke to her I’m positive these things would have been addressed at some point in the conversation…

  46. 46
    Sheila
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 11:36 am

    You really made me crack the f*ck up at work! I sat here and laughed at my computer harder than I have ever laughed at this place. Thanks so much for that. I didn’t think anyone would have to words to come close to describing this wacked out bitch, but dammit you sure did it.

  47. 47
    America's Next Top Fan
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 12:13 pm

    OMG. You did recap the Jesus Mom. You did you did. Thank god.

  48. 48
    Katie
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 12:45 pm

    Dude,if her body is her temple…someone hasent been taking good care of the “temple”…or teeth…yikes!

  49. 49
    Pamsey
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 1:09 pm

    to kdare – the other dad actually kept calling her Marguerite, and I never saw her correct him, maybe she just figured it was more dorksidedness.
    Also, what true Christian would yell “Get the hell out of my house, in the name of God?”

  50. 50
    is
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 2:04 pm

    I just saw the video of the Christian coming home……..and…..GOOD GOD!!!!!!

    Those POOR POOR children. Especially the little one. THey all looked SOOO SCARED!!!

    That has GOT TO be some kind of form of mental child abuse!!!

  51. 51
    Amanda
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 2:14 pm

    That crazy Lady was all about herself… I just wanted to punch her! I really felt sorry for the kids. I am surprised the mom didn’t kick her daughter out of the house for having a child at the age of 16.
    W-e-i-r-d-O!!!!!!!

  52. 52
    Melissa
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 2:33 pm

    It just goes to prove what a nut job these religious fanatics are. I am not suprised by her behavior at all.

  53. 53
    Mern Dog
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 4:29 pm

    Mullethead-LMAO!!!!!

    “And I love how she was so tired from her ‘spiritual warfare’ that she kept having to sit down”

    All her heavy panting was hilarious. Hasn’t she realized that the fat was placed on her body by a (air quotes) “higher power” to slow her crazy ass down. Lord knows what type of damage this loon could inflict if she was nimble broad.

  54. 54
    TraderZed
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 7:01 pm

    yea call me a big loser with way too much time on my hands, but i’m making a life size margaret doll hahah it would have been done this past weekend, but i ran out of stuffing on her arms and legs =(

  55. 55
    lizardqueen
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 8:40 pm

    What an enormous fucking ass. And her butt’s pretty big too.

  56. 56
    Believe in Reality
    Posted November 14, 2005 at 9:01 pm

    Yes, you ALL are nutjobs. Relgious belief is a form of insanity.

  57. 57
    Alphafemale
    Posted November 15, 2005 at 4:41 am

    that bitch scares me!!!!

    where is my cross????

    help me jesus!

  58. 58
    Alphafemale
    Posted November 15, 2005 at 4:41 am

    that bitch scares me!!!!

    where is my cross????

    help me jesus!

  59. 59
    Alphafemale
    Posted November 15, 2005 at 4:42 am

    she scares me…. where is my cross and holy water

    the power of christ… hmmmm

  60. 60
    HicksPub
    Posted November 15, 2005 at 6:25 am

    Lucifer (#27): It takes one sick bitch to post that.

    Thanks!

  61. 61
    TV-OD
    Posted November 15, 2005 at 7:59 am

    After hypocritically taking taking the money after her insane breakdown, I wonder how much of the “dork sided garglye” money she used for God’s work.

  62. 62
    Dana
    Posted November 16, 2005 at 6:08 am

    I have to say thanks to sadie too. I missed it when it aired and it was worth watching.

  63. 63
    Christy
    Posted November 17, 2005 at 9:21 am

    To Shaydie #21 – Thanks for posting the link to the eBay item, but $750??? People are as insane as the god warrior. They must be from the dorkside.

  64. 64
    God Warrior
    Posted November 17, 2005 at 11:06 am

    <

    >

    OK, we can rip on her all we want, but I don’t want anybody’s address or e-mail published on the site, no matter what kind of jackass they are.

    Thanks,

    -J

  65. 65
    Amy
    Posted November 18, 2005 at 11:21 am

    BCarter 3 that O’Reilly rip was money. LOL for too long. So true…that man is a nut.

  66. 66
    gutwarrior
    Posted November 26, 2005 at 12:41 pm

    They gave her money to get her stomach stapled? What about her mouth?!

  67. 67
    TheNeighbor
    Posted November 29, 2005 at 8:10 pm

    Margaret moved into my neighborhood about 13 years ago. Besides an occasional backyard feud with a neighbor or two, she is pretty quiet. I agree that she handled all of the mishaps thrown her way in the worst way possible, and the way she greeted her family upon arriving home was totally malicious, but…I feel the need to take up for her a bit (that’s what good neighbors do, right?)
    Although she is a bit of a “nutbag,” and way too dramatic, that is what makes her so much fun to be around. She really is a very likable person. I always get a good laugh just being around her.
    She is appearing on Jay Leno tonight, so I hope it goes a little better for her this time around. I am definetly going to tune in to find out!

  68. 68
    Melynda
    Posted December 1, 2005 at 8:43 pm

    I love Margurite…Both of my daughter’s took dancing from ATJ and she is sooooooo FUNNY if you really knew her…..GO MRS. MARGURITE!!!!!

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