Boys Don’t Cry

Miscellaneous TV

By B-Side | Thursday, July 28, 2005 | 6:28 pm | 8 Comments


joe1 joe2

Click on Josh (left) and Rocky (right) to hear them cry.

I was a little shocked today when I discovered that no sooner had I started watching Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back than the series was already over. OVER! Talk about wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Why the rush, NBC? Want to pepper your schedule with more repeats of Joey?

Well, the final two episodes played out in the humdrum manner we’ve come to expect from the show. First, we reacquainted ourselves with the exiled Average Joes who now had returned with their teeth straightened, their hair cut, and their fat…eh, still there. Anna plucked Nathan from the water fountain (seriously, they were standing on a water fountain), and then it was off to Tahiti for several massively staged dates. It was business as usual for the guys: Hunky Josh was sincere, Rocky was tall, Average Josh was complimentary, Nathan was funny, and Arthur was pathetically gushy, going so far as to perform a mini-triage on Anna’s mystery splinter (it was actually a venomous bee sack!). Although Arthur seemed to push all the right buttons (he brought Anna flowers — her fave!), he was ultimately cut, along with the Joshes. Hunky Josh took the blow harshly as his Chad Michael Murray facade devolved into a teary-eyed mess.

On the final episode, the last two remaining guys — Rocky and Nathan — had dates with Anna’s mom. Unfortunately for Rocky, he couldn’t quite master the art of “conversation” and had difficulty coming up with questions more stimulating than “So…” Nathan, however, aced the test, and after two dates (which I fast forwarded through — sorry, lots of TV to catch up on!), the action dwindled down to Anna standing at the end of a long pier where she was to choose her man. Despite being dreamy and tall, Rocky was sent packing, and we watched him climb into the back of a covered pickup, perhaps off to fight in ‘Nam. Nathan, meanwhile, won the gal, and the two boarded a boat and sailed off into reality oblivion.

While all this was fun and all, the real joy was listening to Rocky and Hunky Josh’s tearful reactions. Click on their faces above to hear all their sobbing glory.

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8 Comments

  1. 1
    runswithscissors
    Posted July 28, 2005 at 8:26 pm

    Josh was pretty pitiful but what the hell was that noise coming out of Rocky?

  2. 2
    Ed
    Posted July 28, 2005 at 9:47 pm

    I didn’t know if I would ever see a female contestant less sincere than Larissa from the previous AJ. Anna, if not less sincere, is certainly ditzier.

    You didn’t mention the “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” close. The producers get major props from me for that!!

  3. 3
    British
    Posted July 29, 2005 at 9:18 am

    The “TV’s hottest couple” was funny as heck, because it humiliates Carson(and his faux life partner), and well, it was what everyone was thinking.

  4. 4
    Amanda
    Posted July 29, 2005 at 10:03 am

    Glad one of the Average Joes finally won the girl, but she could have been any more transparent with her “we’re just starting out as friends” speech?
    She was clearly not picking Rocky more than she was actually wanting to be with Nathan. After the revelations that Rocky wasn’t faithful, she knew she’d be setting herself up for a world of heartache if she dated him, so she picked “other” instead.

    Loved the Fast Times ending though. That was a fun way to close the show.

  5. 5
    reality'slut
    Posted July 29, 2005 at 10:43 am

    Damn! I missed the finale! When was it? I feel cheated. Although glad to see the Average Joe win it. Now, NBC can start another installment of this luscious eries since the Joe finally won. Do you think that Anna And Nate will televise their wedding a la the ever popular Romber? Oh, one can only hope! Maybe Rocky & hunky Josh can be bridesmaids? If only to invite them back to do some more whimpering!

    (And, yes, I realize I misstyped “series” but in this case, I shall let it stand. “Erie” is more than a lake in Ohio. It is a good descriptor of the pathetic mess that reality TV is.)

    All Hail Joey! He’s a laugh riot!

  6. 6
    joslyn
    Posted July 29, 2005 at 8:26 pm

    That crying is hella funny! Thanks for the laughs.

  7. 7
    TinkerbellAPixie TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted July 30, 2005 at 7:16 am

    Rocky spent his entire date with Anna’s Mom talking about how all he wanted out of life was to be an actor, to be on tv, or movies, but to act. Gee, an actor wannabe on a reality show – who woulda thunk it?

  8. 8
    Genevieve
    Posted August 2, 2005 at 8:12 am

    Is it me or do both their performances seem Fake Fake Fake!

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