Gimme Sitcom

ABC has brought us plenty of talent: George Lopez, Jim Belushi, Freddie Prinze Jr., and now… Mick Jagger? Yes, the legendary Rolling Stones dinosaur has signed on to an ABC sitcom pilot tentatively called Let’s Rob Mick Jagger. The show centers around a down-and-out janitor played by Donal Logue (groan) who decides to gather a bunch of friends and, well, rob Mick Jagger. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, but there is promise, despite the Donal Logue-ness of the project. The pilot actually comes from David Letterman’s old producer, Rob Burnett, and it used to be called Let’s Rob Jeff Goldblum; so it can’t be that bad, right? Okay, don’t answer that. Burnett tells the New York Times that it’s his ambition to make a serialized version of Lost or 24 (isn’t that kind of what Arrested Development was?), and while I hope this bizarre pilot works, I’m sure ABC will have many other opportunities for Mick should it tank. Our ideas after the jump…

Mick & Faith:

Finally. The sitcom we’ve all been waiting for. Mick Jagger, Kelly Ripa, and Ted McGinley? It’s a masterpiece waiting to happen. Originally, executives were thinking of having Mick and Kelly play siblings, but then they realized, “What if they’re not just siblings — they’re sisters!” And so the brainchild was born. Watch as Mick and Kelly do such hilarious things as get into food fights! Break eggs on their heads! Toss flour in their faces! And get into more food fights! It’s a comedy that everyone can mildly smile at!

Perfect Jaggers:

Execs have been looking for an excuse to bring back Perfect Strangers, and now they finally have it. Meet Larry Appleton’s latest wacky cousin: Mick Jagger! The Rolling Stones front man moves into the same cramped apartment with Larry and Balki where the three pass the time by getting in over their head with wonderfully goofy schemes. Every episode ends with the cousins sitting on the couch as Larry concedes that he should have listened to the other two all along. Then Mick walks across the hall and has a threesome with Jennifer and Mary Anne. Classic TGIF!

Hangin’ with Mr. Jagger:

We’ve all been waiting for Mick Jagger and Raven Symone to collaborate. The wait is over. The two unite with Holly Robinson Peete to do what we love most: playing basketball and crackin’ jokes! Unfortunately, the last piece of this puzzle, Nell Carter, has since passed, as has her heir apparent, Shirley Hemphill. So who better to fill in than Mo’Nique? The way she and Mick spar is worth the price of admission! And let’s not overlook the sexual chemistry!

Strut by Strut:

Mick Jagger? Suzanne Somers? Need we say anything more?

Jagger’s Anatomy:

Mick plays a medical intern in Seattle who winds up in a torrid affair with dreamy Patrick Dempsey. In the process, he Botoxes his face beyond recognition and occasionally makes sappy observations about the world around him. His badinage with Sandra Oh is priceless. This series is not to be confused with Mick’s Anatomy. That’s just a show about his penis.