To many, New Year’s Weekend is a time to catch up with family and friends, but to many of us, it is also a time to catch up with our good friend television. Cable stations love to use this time of the year to schedule concurrent episodes of shows we might have missed, knowing that there are enough of us out there afflicted with the disease that compels us to finish a semi-interesting show, even if we missed the first fifteen minutes, or saw the episode the day before. With New Year’s falling on a Monday and so many people with so much time off this time of year, we are left with the perfect storm for cable television marathons. You may not be able to sit through four days of repeated television episodes, but TVgasm is here to help you sort through the tough weekend schedule anyway.
Saturday, December 30th
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Law and Order: Criminal intent – Although Criminal Intent is the third version of Law and Order, Vincent D’Onofrio’s antics are always good for a laugh or two. And with the way the series likes to re-introduce actors as different characters, it’s nice to see Chris Noth holding it down as detective Mike Logan all these years. |
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Movie Marathon – Anaconda, Deep Blue Sea, Rocky IV, Space Cowboys, The Fifth Element, and on and on. The only reason I mention this at all is that these movies will also be on TNT HD, which almost makes all of that shit bearable. |
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Movie Marathon – Stealing Harvard, America’s Sweethearts, Bedazzled…I guess I know what station they’ll be playing when I go to hell. |
| The Greatest – VH1 loves their top 100 lists, and now you can catch up on The Shocking Moments in Rock and Roll, The Greatest Teen Stars, and The Most Wanted Bodies, all with maximum commercial interruption. |
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Made, The Challenge, Real world – OK, now we are talking. This is the perfect trifecta reality shows featuring people that pretty much have no grip on their own reality. Guilty pleasure factor? Off the charts! |
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Friday Night Lights – Ladies, I have a little bit of a tip for you. This show is basically a prime time Soap Opera, but there is enough macho football guy stuff that your man won’t leave the room. On the other hand if you use your boyfriend’s DVR, you’ll have to wait until sweeps are over before you break up with him. |
Sunday, December 31st
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Law and Order: SVU – Ever since Serena Southerlyn announced out of the blue in her final episode that she was a lesbian, I always wondered if she was dating Casey Novak. SVU is probably my favorite of the franchise because it is the least forumlaic of the three. |
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Law and Order, Charmed – My first celebrity sighting in Los Angeles was Rose McGowan and her Zappa brother boyfriend at a breakfast place in Hollywood. Seated in the booth next to them, B-side was forced to make awkward contact with them when I went to wash my hands and Zappa boy was on his cell phone. Good times! |
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Twilight Zone – While watching old Twilight Zone episodes, it’s interesting to note how often modern shows blatantly rip off plot elements from the originals. It’s also bizarre watching how often people smoked on screen back then. |
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Movie Marathon – Sunday may be the day god rested, but Satan is still punishing us, playing most of the same movies you that were playing the day before. |
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Ugly Betty – If I didn’t watch so many chick shows already, I would start watching Ugly Betty. But you know I’ll tune in whenever Salma Hayek shows up. Unfortunately, without HD, I may as well throw in Desperado again. |
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I Love the 70s, I Love the 80s – Has somebody created the shows I Hate the 70s or I Hate the 80s. Isn’t this what YouTube is for? Get to work you lazy bastards! |
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Parental Control, The Real World – Another MTV dating show, and another shot at some drunken antics in the Mile High City. |
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Absolutely Fabulous – Ahh, the ever-popular drug addiction and fashion mix. Why hasn’t NBC cribbed this show yet? |
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Curb Your Enthusiasm – If, for some reason, you want to fall asleep before the new year begins, the latest season of curb should do the trick. |
Monday, January 1st
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Monk – With Monk and Psych, USA has two of the best detective shows on the air. Chances that Rhea Pearlman makes a cameo as Monk’s sister at some point in the future? 1 in 10. |
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Laugh in the New Year Movie Marathon – If you haven’t seen Vegas Vacation, consider yourself lucky, as it desecrates the good name that Chevy Chase built up in the first three installments. |
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Law and Order, Charmed – I assume that they will be showing different episodes than they showed on Sunday, but I wouldn’t put any money on it either. |
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Twilight Zone – The Twilight Zone marathon lasts almost two straight days. If you are upset that you missed an episode, don’t worry, this marathon happens every other month. |
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Movie Marathon – Since I am not being paid to say anything more about these movies on F/x, I’ll just stop now. |
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Serial Bowl IV (Ugly Betty) – If you missed the marathon on ABC Family, SOAPnet has you covered. |
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Throwdown With Bobby Flay – Next time, I hope Food Network decides to feature all of the Iron Chef America episodes where Julie Chen was a judge. |
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Beauty and the Geek 2 – No, there really was a second season. It’s laughable that they still call this a “social experiment”, but it is fairly enjoyable. |
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Next – Like Elimidate, except everybody is forced to |
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The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Bad Girls Club – The second season of the JDMA is just weeks away, but for now, watch the two greatest shows created for Oxygen battle for supremacy. |
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The Biggest Loser – This is another good show that I think a lot of people missed, but it’s always good for a feel good story, especially if you are feeling kind of bloated from all of that holiday gluttony. |
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Magnum, PI – The car, the mustache, the Tigers hat. It all adds up to a classic. But for the love of God, why can’t I get somebody to show me reruns of The Greatest American Hero? |
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One Comment
Thanks for the report J-Unit, I missed that first ep of Friday Night Lights so my DVR is now all set to pick it back up. And I might check out Ugly Betty – never got to watch it because it was conflicting with other stuff.
Oh and – Happy New Year!