Most people by now have heard about Oprah’s silly run-in with Hermès in Paris, but for those in the dark, here what happened: the talk show diva was basically denied entrance to the hoity designer boutique. Up until about ten minutes ago, I didn’t really know the details of this non-incident, but finally, I checked out an article on Yahoo and was fairly sickened by the sordid tale. You see, Ms. Winfrey had arrived at the Hermès boutique fifteen minutes after it had closed, and well, when bitch wants her clothes, bitch GETS her clothes!
Ah, but there was that pesky closing time. Now most humans see a closed business, shrug, and make a note to return the next day. On rare occasions, we’ve all begged a sales person to let us in for an emergency or whatever, but it’s safe to say that in general, closing times are non-negotiable. It’s not a terribly dramatic thing, nor is it particularly embarrassing (unless you happen to be trapped outside naked, but hey, who hasn’t been in that situation).
Well, O-O-O-Oprah reacted to this shut-out as if Steadman himself had flung a handful of dingleberries in her face. Luckily, her buddy Gayle King was on hand to witness this atrocious chapter of mankind. She told The Insider, “It was really, really bad. People were in the store and they were shopping. Oprah was at the door and she was not allowed into the store. Oprah describes it herself as one of the most humiliating moments of her life.” Yes, that is HORRIFYING! I can’t believe she can even show her face in polite society!
Give us some more, Gayle! “This is someone who has bought 12 Birkin bags, none of them for herself. All of the Birkin bags she has bought in the past have been gifts for friends. She had a 13th on order, which has now been cancelled,” Gayle snipped. Oh, it’s already been BROUGHT-EN!
Hey, let’s hear what that goofball Tom Cruise has to say: “I know that those kinds of people are not the majority. For that to happen to Oprah, we all love Oprah. Oprah is such a great woman. I’m sorry that happened. I’ll call her tomorrow.” People, she wasn’t shot in the head! But seriously, call her tomorrow. I hear that since the incident, she’s been running a fever and writhing in her bed.
Now if you’re as repulsed as I am, raise your hand. I hate pulling the whole “Just ’cause you’re a celebrity” card, but seriously, get over yourself, bitch. The world doesn’t revolve around you. If a store is closed, just DEAL. But apparently Oprah’s rage / oversized ego / rampant insecurity knows no bounds. She’ll be slamming the French designer this fall when her show resumes. Hey, how do you say Oprah en français? Oh, that’s right. Pathétique.