Please, no-Tori-us Anymore!!!

Miscellaneous TV

By madeyoulaugh | Monday, March 13, 2006 | 2:56 pm | 20 Comments

< sarcasm >
Finally our prayers have been answered.

For too long television sets across America have been inundated with mindless drivel. Shows about people stuck on islands, aspiring models eating pig rectums and baboon wang, The O’Reilly Factor…

I know what you’re thinking, and I completely agree, “None of those shows have the class, depth and elegance of Tori Spelling.” Well rest assured, after years of writing letters to the President of Show business, my dream is finally coming to fruition.

Yes, no longer shall out televisions be barren of Tori Spelling playing a satirical version of herself. For the powers that be at VH1 have decided to tell a story that need be told. After watching the preview for the new show SO NoTORIus, the emotional fervor stirred in such a short time can be likened to this .

Please sit back and enjoy it for yourself after the jump.
< /sarcasm >


Click Tori to play

Incase you want to sing along:


Check out these clothes
What should I wear?
Designer jeans, I own every pair

But who cares?

Cause happiness can’t be bought
“Like your breasts or your hair� (ZING)

I want to star in my own show so badly
Prove I’ve got talent without help from daddy

Screw Donna martin, the real me’s emerging
I’m not a princess
Or a what’s it called? — virgin (Double zing!!)

I will face the unknown
Take out a loan
I will even walk or carry Mimi Lerioux
Will you pick up her poo?
Ew

Ill show the world
That Tori is just a regular girl

Be sure to avoid vh1 come April

20 Comments

  1. 1
    anonym.
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 3:19 pm

    wow.this show looks about as funny as donna’s eating disorder episode on 90210..wait, or was that the drug use? or the sexual abuse? yeah..basically my point is that this show looks not funny

  2. 2
    Jennifer30309
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    um, it’s “barren”…

  3. 3
    anonym.
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 3:22 pm

    Jennifer30309- wait, was that for me?

  4. 4
    aeb
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 3:23 pm

    um, is she trying to be ariel? no one can top the little mermaid.

  5. 5
    anonym.
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 3:28 pm

    ^well, she definitely got those fish lips!

  6. 6
    ra
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 3:53 pm

    I would rather have oozing herpe sores all over my body than watch this shit. I’m just sayin’…

  7. 7
    stacyrocks
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    :|

  8. 8
    Phenom
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 5:12 pm

    OH MY GOD! DAMN YOU! My eyes and ears are bleeding!

    WOW. That was unbelievably horrid….

  9. 9
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 5:14 pm

    I always thought she looked the way my barbie dolls used to look when you would squeeze her head all skinny faced, eye-poppin out weirdness.

  10. 10
    nocable
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 5:43 pm

    Between this clip and the Omarosa video today I think I need a break from the internet.

  11. 11
    bfrost
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 7:22 pm

    Sweet Jesus! Haven’t we suffered enough. I can’t take any more of her cavernous cleavage, fish eyes, or orange skin. Why couldn’t Shannon Dougherty have done this instead? I have a feeling we would have at least seen some bar fights on that show!

  12. 12
    Donna Martin Graduates!
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 8:00 pm

    I *LOVED* it!!!

  13. 13
    TinkerbellAPixie
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 8:04 pm

    Hmm…what would they call a Shannon Dougherty Reality Show? Shannonigans?

  14. 14
    derder
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 8:26 pm

    I dislike her so much that I just might have to watch this show.

  15. 15
    anonym.
    Posted March 13, 2006 at 9:56 pm

    this makes the flavor of love look like golden globe-worthy television

  16. 16
    KatiesHole
    Posted March 14, 2006 at 3:09 am

    Who decided we should care about this ugly dog faced alien looking freak?

    So much exagerrated self importance,I cannot stand it. Go away, Miss Ugly, no one cares about you, now or ever!

    KH

  17. 17
    BrugaCMH
    Posted March 14, 2006 at 4:20 am

    That was so funny. I loved her in the movie ‘Trick’ where she played EdHill best friend?

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0162710/

  18. 18
    zoobabe
    Posted March 14, 2006 at 5:00 am

    I wonder if they’re going to include an episode where she cheats on her husband and breaks up a marriage by stealing a father away from his wife and kids? She’s a skank, plain and simple.

  19. 19
    livemusicjunkie
    Posted March 14, 2006 at 9:18 am

    LOL @ zoobab/#18 – she IS gross!!!

    I remember hearing about this some time back and I thought it was some sick joke…guess not. **sigh** I guess money CAN buy anything.

  20. 20
    tvaholic
    Posted March 15, 2006 at 2:52 pm

    I saw the teaser that was on VH-1 the other day. She reminds me of the forced comedy Teri Hatcher does every week on DH.

    zoobabe-right on the money!

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