Shannon Elizabeth Remembers She’s a Celebrity, Divorces Fat Man.

Miscellaneous TV

By madeyoulaugh | Tuesday, March 8, 2005 | 1:36 am | 14 Comments

shannon.jpg

Shanon Elizabeth gives homeless man autograph, then Divorce Papers

All things come in three’s, including celebrity break-ups.

Last night American Pie masturbating chick filed for divorce from LOST’s Hurley. (ok not really) This break-up was taken particularly hard by fat, hairy unnattractive men everywhere who thought, “See, it could happen to me.” No, fat man…it can’t.

Shannon forwent the usual “irreconcilable differences” claim, rather filing under the less oft used, “He stopped hypnotizing me” defense.

For those unsure why the newly Ms. Elizabeth was ever famous to begin with, there are TWO reasons…AFTER THE JUMP. NSFW.

ThatsWhy-thumb

Get it? the 2 reasons are her boobs. See what I did there?

14 Comments

  1. 1
    Nick Gray
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 8:32 am

    Nice try (I laughed), but Joe is a pretty cool guy, and he definitely wasn’t/isn’t fat.

  2. 2
    Moko
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 11:22 am

    A Web site devoted to TV shows is a strange place for fat jokes, considering the demographics of those who watch TV. Then again, self-hate is a strong thing!

  3. 3
    B-Side
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 11:24 am

    A Web site devoted to TV shows is a strange place for humorless readers too.

  4. 4
    meeshie
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 11:29 am

    Don’t alienate your audience! Cater to the fat man! More stories about chocolate, please!

  5. 5
    B-Side
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 11:30 am

    Maybe I should watch “Fat Actress” to atone?

  6. 6
    meeshie
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 11:39 am

    sure – but be careful what you post about it when you’re done. Kirstie Alley = my hero.

  7. 7
    B-Side
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 12:08 pm

    I would say cheers to that, but look who’s talking!

  8. 8
    smithie
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 1:04 pm

    I was just over Shannon Elizabeth’s house last week, and she’s a bitch. Spread the word. I’m glad her fat husband is getting rid of her.

  9. 9
    Lisa
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 2:16 pm

    I am the kind of person who thinks that personality is more important than looks but seriously, what was she doing with that guy? They looked so odd together. Also, does anyone else find it ironic that she is having her divorce go public shortly after her latest movie came out? I think I know why celebrities always get married and divorced so much. For the publicity.

    BTW, good pun B-Side. Look who’s talking. HaHaHa

    Also, Moko, not all people who watch TV are fat. Speak for yourself next time.

  10. 10
    flush it all away
    Posted March 8, 2005 at 5:44 pm

    < >

    Ha!

    Well, all I can say to that is Runaway, Summer School Deconstructing Harryl! Loverboy Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

    (And why so happy about the divorce? That marriage gave average folks hope.)

  11. 11
    Catie
    Posted March 9, 2005 at 7:59 am

    I heard this morning that Shannon Elizabeth has been seen canoodling (their word, not mine) with Andrew Firestone…yes, from The Bachelor.

  12. 12
    B-Side
    Posted March 9, 2005 at 11:19 am

    I don’t know if I believe that. About ten days ago, I actually saw Shannon Elizabeth at lunch – sans a man. Then about five hours later, I saw Andrew Firestone at a bar canoodling with another woman. Doesn’t necessarily refute the rumor, but at least this way I can name drop.

  13. 13
    Catie
    Posted March 9, 2005 at 11:26 am

    Ten days ago?! The alleged canoodling between Shannon & Andrew (we’re on a first name basis) apparently took place yesterday!

  14. 14
    B-Side
    Posted March 9, 2005 at 12:08 pm

    Man, I’m behind on my stalking!

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