So I turn on the TV this morning, and what do I find? The Scripps National Spelling Bee!! Every year, I miss this thing. I always find out about it after the fact. Luckily, ABC and ESPN have decided to finally exploit the event, which means awareness of it has been upped to previously unheard of levels. What better way to celebrate than by liveblogging the last hour of the Preliminary Championship Round…10:57 AM
Only 29 contestants left! Round six is beginning! Engage!
Evan O’Dorney is an alleged “elite speller.” But can he get “antilegomena”? He does! Amazing. These kids are like robots. Next up is Tia Thomas. She gets saddled with a relatively easy word, “Theremin.” It’s probably the only word I’ll ever be able to spell in one of these bees. Ah, but she gets it wrong! She spells it “Theramin.” Haha, sucker! Next time show up when you feel like SPELLING A WORD. Smell ya later, TIA THOMAS!!
Here comes Leslie Newcombe, one of many hunched over girls with Edna Mode hairstyles. The judge warns her that this next word has a homonym. Oh, nice twist! The word, by the way, is Dhole. But Edna says Dohl. Suck it, Leslie! Return to your hovel of SHAME!
Enter Kayla Hudson. Her word is Raita. She looks like she’s about to suffer from a panic attack. Seriously, she might die right there on the stage. She lets out a nervous laugh and then proceeds to misspell the word. Damn girl. Have you never been to an Indian Restaurant??
Next is a young boy named Allion Salvador. I like this kid because he clutches onto the microphone like he’s Chris Daughtry. And he’s just as dreamy too!
Here comes Theodore Yuan. He admits that he’s actually a bigger fan of math than spelling. Well, if you like math so much, why don’t you marry it???
Oooh! It’s Bonny Jain! The reigning Geography Bee champ. He says, “Oh oh oh yeah. Obliviscence!” as if he’d just been talking about it. I guess he had just been talking about it because he gets the word right. The sportscaster says, “Bonny Jain! Competition Veteran!!!” Yes, yes. We’re all impressed with Bonny Jain.
Okay, this girl’s name is a spelling bee unto itself: Aishwarya Pastapur. Her word is “Suivez,” which is the French command for “Follow!” Oh, but Aishwarya gets it wrong! She says “Suivet.” Her parents will now flog her.
Here comes Rajiv Tarigopula. ESPN says we should definitely keep an eye on him. Consider it done! I’m on the Rajiv bandwagon!
The word is “Zebu.” When Rajiv asks for it to be used in a sentence, the judge offers up this strange image: “Yasmine used to ride on her family’s Zebu when she was small. Now she milks it every morning instead.” Why does that sound so inappropriate?
Every now and then, I like to attempt to spell these words in my head. I’ve since come to the realization that I am an IDIOT.
Scratch that. I totally got “Fauve” right! I’m a GENIUS!
Another kid messes up. His little sister looks absolutely crushed. Tonight’s Applebees dinner will be super awkward.
FYI: nine girls left. Fifteen boys left. Haha. Boys rule!
Saryn Hooks is all about the attitude. The word is “Burin,” and she asks, “Is that a knife or something?” Hey, don’t act like you’re too cool for the Burin.
Here’s another kid with an attitude. When he finds out that his word means “remains of the dead,” he smirks and says, “Remains of the dead?” as if the judges are crazy for coming up with that definition. What’s up with the ego on these kids? Either way, he gets the word right and fist pounds someone. He’s like The Fonz of spelling bees.
Oh Cherry Mathis! Two L’s. Two L’s! Alas, this is the end of the line for Cherry.
Uh oh! Twenty seconds left for Nidharshan Anandasivam! Will he get “Reboise”? This is the most exciting twenty seconds of the past week. He gets it at the last second! Oh, Nidharshan! The rollercoaster ride you insist on always taking us on!
Controversy! The word is “Sterlet,” but the kid slurs his second-to-last letter. Did he say “e” or did he say “o”? The judges are conferring, listening to the playback of the audio. Meanwhile, poor Anji’s lip is quivering with fear. And now head judge Mary Brooks returns with a verdict: DING! She slams that bell as if to say, “You are wrong and I hate you for it, dick!”
The ever inflating Chris Connelly babbles to us about the kids’ courage. He tells us that some of these spellers will eventually be one of our surgeons. Oh Chris Connelly. Your wit beguiles me!
The judge says the word “Boraginaceous,” and a kid named Jonathan Horton says, “Uhhhh what did you say??” The audience erupts in laughter. The judge reprimands him and says, “Listen to the beginning.” The word “Boraginaceous” is then said about forty-five times in the next thirty seconds. By the way, Jonathan Horton is hilarious. He yells/spells about two words at a time, turns to his right, and blows on his hands. Somehow this works. He actually gets it right. How very Boraginaceous.
Remember elite speller Evin O’Dorney? Well, he just got cut. Sorry, little dude. I feel bad for him. His mother is a vision of utter disappointment. All her dreams: gone!
Another girl is eliminated. Her mom shrugs with sadness and defeat, as if to say, “I guess I owe Thelma $35 dollars now.”
Okay, Allion, a.k.a. Christ Daughtry is back. This time he only has one hand on the mic. I wonder if he’ll sing Live!
Allion gets his word without even breaking a sweat. DREAMBOAT!
You know what would really spice this up? Mandisa coming out to sing a song.
Remember Bonny Jain? He starts spelling Empyreumatic, but midway through, he freezes up. After a long pause, he continues, but omits an “e.” Battle ax Mary Brooks slowly raises her hand over her bell and then, in dramatic form, SHE STRIKES! FEEL THE STING OF HER DING!
Poor Samir. It’s all over for him. When he gets his word wrong, his mother recoils as if she’s just been stung in the butt. The shame… the shame… Only 16 left now.
The commentator says that Aishwarya will be a “force to be reckoned with.” And how! Behold, mortal humans, Aishwarya comes this way!!
Oooh! Rajiv! I’m on his bandwagon. Although, I have to admit that I’m turning into more of an Allion guy. If it comes down to the two of them, I will be torn.
Here comes Katharine Close. I like to think of her as an aspiring Hope Davis / Sarah Chalke hybrid. She gets her word right. Just as Hope Davis and Sarah Chalke would, I’m sure.
The word is “Joual.” The kid starts off by spelling it with a “Z.” Yeah, bad news. He’s cut, and the commentator says, “He had never seen or heard that before.” CLEARLY.
Cocky Charley Allegar is back. I love this guy’s “I’m the shit” attitude. He’ll make a perfect candidate for Beauty and the Geek 8. Unfortunately, he’s forgotten the word. Bad sign. But he gets it! Geez these kids are insane.
Grrrrowl! Caitlin Campbell. She’s the hottie of the bunch. She’s sort of like a bug-eyed version of Melinda from Real World: Austin. She’s totally going to make out with Charley afterwards.
Uh oh. Young Samir is using “Bonus Time.” He’s so screwed! Will he ever be able to spell eremacausis? I’m thinking no. Only 30 seconds left. The judge says, “Samir, it’s finish time.” Indeed. It is finish time. As in, Samir is finished. He gets it wrong, the crowd sighs loudly, and everyone applauds loudly. Apparently he was a favorite to win the whole thing. What an upset! Just goes to show, every vote counts! Wait, sorry, I’m still in Idol mode.
Round seven is over. Thirteen spellers left! And they do not include favorite Samir Patel! What in the world will happen? I guess we’ll just have to wait. Round eight begins tonight on ABC at 8 PM…
It’s been fun. Time for lunch!