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Thursday, July 28, 2005
1:25 am
46 Comments
After two weeks of nagging by loyal TVgasm readers, I finally decided to check out Brat Camp last night on ABC. I was not disappointed. No, I’m not saying that it was good or even enjoyable. I was simply satisfied in knowing how right I was for staying away. On the one hand, I feel badly for these kids for the deep emotional issues they grapple with. But on the other hand, must we force a camera in their faces and make them cry on national television? After all, what better way to boost a kid’s self-esteem than by exposing them to the ridicule of asshole blogs like this one! Perhaps most objectionable though (at least for me, as an avid television watcher) is the fact that this hour-long, neo-hippie, feel-good program is just merely a more bloated version of any old Sally Jesse Raphael show, except now we’re supposed to actually care about these wounded children. What happened to the days of booing at the proudly slutty bitch or the cocky asshole rebel? Back then, we liked watching these kids get their comeuppance as some beefy drill sergeant barked at them for hours on end. Alas, I guess that sort of sensationalism doesn’t necessarily promote “growth,” whatever that is, so it’s off to the Oregon desert to build a fire, scale a cliff, and have Mother Raven heal our troubled youth. Can’t wait for her book deal!
Thoughts on last night’s episode after the jump…Well, I wasn’t paying that close of attention the first ten minutes or so, but I did notice the narrator emphasizing the need to boost all these kids’ self-esteem. And nothing does that better than forever labeling them “compulsive liar,” “steals from mom,” “self-destructive drug user,” and “angry punk.” You know by season five, they’ll simply be calling them “asshole,” “bitch,” “slut.” Yes, kids, you may be growing and overcoming your demons, but rest assured, every time you turn on ABC, you’ll still be remembered as a “Brat.”
And before you all pull out your quill pens and write a nasty letter, please know that I was being facetious. Anyway, enjoy our minute-by-minute commentary (with assistance from J-Unit and TVgasm friend, ZL).
9:13 PM
Jada rappels down a cliff and announces, “I was really not scared at all.” Whatever, COMPULSIVE LIAR!
9:15 PM
Isaiah happily descends down the cliff. Man, that’s one angry punk.
9:15 PM
Heather, the habitual runaway, has arrived at the bottom of the cliff. Psssst. Maybe you should keep her in that harness, yes?
9:15 PM
Wouldn’t it be awesome if one of these kids was like The Mole? You know, actually a good kid pretending to be bad? Now THAT would make this show interesting.
9:15 PM
By the way, props to ABC for making sure to keep all the kids from the ghetto off this show. You know how it is with them, “gangs rule my neighborhood this” and “society marginalizes me that.” We need to make sure we save the kids who are in the most danger: upper-middle class suburbanites!
9:23 PM
One of the Sagewalk guys (Pine Cone? Dandelion? Mildew?) encourages Lexie to descend down the cliff. “Walk backwards. Just like Batman.” Is Batman known for his Moonwalking? Actually, maybe now isn’t the greatest time to make Michael Jackson references.
9:25 PM
Back at camp, the kids chow down on some nasty porridge worthy of a Catholic orphanage. Mother Raven really cooks up some solid gruel, doesn’t she? The secret ingredient? Ravens.
9:26 PM
Speaking of Mother Raven (not to be confused with Forgive or Forget’s Mother Love), she returns to counsel Lauren about the death of her father. Yeah, I only wanted to make fun of the random gnawed carrots in this scene, but I think I’ll just move on before my conscience completely kills me.
9:27 PM
Honestly, what’s the deal with these names? Boulder? Mother Raven? Glacier? Aspen? I’m pretty sure we’re watching a cult at this point.
9:29 PM
Lauren emotes about her father’s passing. Boulder hugs her and says, “I’m proud of you.” He then adds, “Uh, what’s the name on your back? Ah, that’s right. Lauren. Yes, Lauren. I’m proud of you.”
9:33 PM
Lexie hurts herself gathering wood. Oh well. There goes all the self-esteem from the cliff.
9:33 PM
Ah. “Little Big Bear.” Is there a Big Big Bear? Or a Little Little Bear? Big Little Bear? Medium-sized economy bear?
9:34 PM
Isaiah: “Bow drill? What is that?” I’ve never SEEN a more angry punk! I mean, he made fun of bow drilling!!!
9:36 PM
“Fire Shaper” tells Isaiah to tend the fire. Um, I believe you’re the one named Fire Shaper, jerk.
9:40 PM
Isaiah: “I just made fire with a shoelace and two sticks!” Now let’s burn down the school!!!!
9:40 PM
“Me and Isaiah had a pretty good breakthrough. He had been feeling me out and seeing if he could trust me, but I think we overcame that,” said Fire Shaper proudly. That night, Fire Shaper was found burned to death in his sleeping bag.
9:45 PM
Great. Another stupid name. “Mountain Wind.” Apparently, she enjoys the “Mountain Burrito.”
9:47 PM
Now it’s time to focus on Nick and his dyslexia. Because of his learning disability, he’s become self-conscious and angry. He even tried to stab his twin. Hey, Nick, why don’t you try stabbing someone your own size? Oh wait, he is your own size. Never mind.
9:47 PM
We see Nick’s almost-stabbed brother. Hey, it’s Harry Potter! Why would Nick try to stab Harry Potter? He’s a child wizard!
9:50 PM
“The Sagewalk team is determined to teach Nick a skill he can be proud of,” says the announcer as Boulder teaches Nick the art of the bow drill fire. Yes, this will come in handy on the SATs. Cut to Nick building a fire on his desk.
9:53 PM
Nick finally gets fire. Okay, he’s cured now. NEXT!
The show eventually ends with beaded necklaces being handed out to the kids who improved the most over the week. Yay!
TV Social
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46 Comments
The show started off sooooo strong! The first two episodes were fantastic. Since, it has become a whiny, sappy toolfest. Unfortunately, I am stuck watching it. Mainly, because I need to see Jada cry and lie more.
Hook us up with Kill Reality already! I would put Toni and her script rewrites up against Eric and his Napoleon complex anyday of the week.
Loved this line:
Great. Another stupid name. “Mountain Wind”. Apparently, she enjoys the “Mountain Burrito”.
When this show started, as soon as I saw that name, I was hoping TVGasm was covering this show, just to snark on this name.
I’m happy now.
Thanks
Sure crawling down a mountain and starting fires may seem like the stuff of your AVERAGE brat-rehabilitation clinic, at least we got a glimps of the rate and elusive PHANTOM DOOKER!
Ok, your names for them “Pine Cone? Dandelion? Mildew?” is probably going to have me laughing for the rest of the day – possibly the week! How funny!
^^^^ How do we know that you’re the real John Platt???? You could be some insane fan pretending to be a co-exectutive producer so B-Side could reveal his identity to you. If you are the real thing. Say Hi to Ivette for me!!! Congrats for helping choose such a spicy and exciting BB Houseguest!!!!
Ooooooo…..damn! John Platt got snaps! B, you just gonna let him serve you like that on your on site!?
Anyway, sorry John that you can’t take feedback, but the first episode was good, after that, not so much.
Questions/Suggestions/Observations:
1. You could not find one black kid? Not one? By the way all black kids are not poor and from “the ghetto”. Some grow up middle or upper-middle class (case in point: me) and are also spoiled and self destructive(not me)
2. This show is too long. I swear, after a half and hour, I’m dozing off. A half and hour would have been fine.
3. I wish that “Welcome to the Neighborhood” show hadn’t gotten yanked. Do you know backgroud on this, John? Now that looked good. Probably much better than “Brat Camp”. Did you produce that one, too? Or were you inventing the internet or something at the time?
4. Good job on “The Amazing Race”. Hey, 1-4 is not too shabby, son, not too shabby.
5. Don’t dis our man B-Side. We love him, and he is our favorite, so back up! None of us know what he has done, because he too has adopted an pseudonym, much like the folks on your show. However, unlike laugh-inducing names like “Weed Wacker” and “Whispering Litter”, his moniker is basically cool.
You don’t have time to be posting, John Platt. You’ve got a show to fix. So after you answer my questions, you may go.
Yeah, love the ghetto comment. It’s damn straight though. They prolly couldn’t deal with kids who have REAL issues, so they just get whiney suburban “brats” whose only problem is that they don’t realize how good they have it. *rolls eyes* Oh well, a ghetto version prolly wouldn’t do as well. People like to identify with what they see as “ideal.” :p
Case in point: The lost (upper-class, long blonde haired, blue eyed, white, suburban) female in Aruba. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a sad story. But it happens to thousands of other kids every day. What makes them less important to society? Dare I say it? Race? Economic level? Religion? Yes America, you treat all with equality…
You’re right, B-Side, you should have stayed away from this show. Just like Rock Star: INXS, Brat Camp is too good to be laughed at here at TVgasm. After the “Phantom Dooker” (which was *horribly* terrific), there isn’t anything else to make fun of.
But that’s OK. Keep bringing us the shit we love to hate and hate to love like BB!
I missed the first half for Rock Star: INXS. This show is good.
“Wouldn’t it be awesome if one of these kids was like the mole…” I actually thought about that during the show. That would be awesome. I was thinking it would be cool if they had to guess which one is good and they would win money for guessing corectly.
“Medium economy sized bear” lol
Does Mountain Wind like to break wind on mountains or something? heh.
After some pondering in the shower. . .
Holly: you’re right, kids who’ve been raped/adopted/molested/orphaned need to stop whining and realize how good they have it.
B-Side: I’m pretty sure these kids are supposed to be taken out of their element. What would ghetto brats get out of being cold at night, eating the same crappy food every day, and seeing other kids who are going through the same type of problems as they are? Isn’t that just called “home”?
Sorry to get defensive about a show that’s purely for entertainment, I know *most* your comments are in jest. I do love TVgasm! And I’m not usually missing the point this much.
LOL!!!!
)
The instructor’s names are worse than the kid’s attitudes
agreed to #9
the first thing I said was “Why dont they just use regular names? like Mary, or John? WTF? Big Little bear? He aint biggie smalls! lol.”
and the blackness in these white kids is slowly killing me. :/
What I don’t understand is why the kids and their parents would agree to have all of this filmed. I haven’t watched the show but I’ve heard enough about it to know that these kids are talking on camera about being molested, losing a parent, etc. Why would you let you troubled kid go through that on camera? It has to be to get the therapy and camp for free, but it seems like a risk to already-troubled kids.
I thought I was making a really good show that would move people with its honest emotions, and make a difference in the lives of families dealing with similar issues.
But after reading your comments, I guess I should start making more dumb reality shows for dumb people. I’d heard that some people actually like to ingest crap, and it seems I’ve found a whole a bunch of them right here on this site.
Bon appétit!
Hey B-side, congrats on drawing in the co-exec producer (or so he claims to be) to your recap!
Mr. Platt, I mean Little Uncle Porcupine, your show SUCKS!!! I am so ashamed to be viewed by millions on your pathetic piece of crap. We mostly had to act for you anyway because you couldn’t get enough drama out of us.
Hahahaha, your ratings are burning in flames anyway Sucka!!!!!
John Platt wrote: “I’d heard that some people actually like to ingest crap, and it seems I’ve found a whole a bunch of them right here on this site.”
This coming from the man who wrote the twin masterpieces, “Lambada, The Forbidden Dance” and “Monster High”.
But anyway, John, sorry you weren’t able to enjoy our comments. Like you said, I guess you should start making more dumb reality shows, unlike your previous high quality credits of “Big Brother”, “The Surreal Life”, and, of course, “The Family” starring George Hamilton.
Thanks for listing some of my other credits, B-Side. You forgot to mention “The Amazing Race,” another show I’m quite proud of.
At least I post under my real name so you can check my credentials…unlike you or the Fake Isaiah listed above.
And speaking of credits and credentials, I’m curious…what shows have you produced, B-Side? And how about screenplay credits? Or ANY credits for that matter?
In fact, has anyone ever paid you to write anything?
Just curious.
John Platt,
So you say you are using your real name? Why fake your e-mail address? But thanks for visiting us from that lot of yours in The Valley. I have already traced the comment and know what building you’re posting from at R——.
I guess if you’ve traced me, J-Unit, you can confirm I’m for real. Even though that does sound kinda stalker-ish of you, and a little scary. I don’t like to give out my e-mail address as I don’t want my box overflowing with fan mail…or anti-fan mail, as the case may be. LOL!
I did find B-Side’s original article very amusing… that’s what drew me to this site in the first place. And I don’t even mind the critiques (is that how you spell that?), just resent the nasty personal attacks. Who would enjoy being hit in the face by a bag of abuse? Not me. And I’m very protective of the kids in the show. They’re just kids, and I hate to see them attacked…even in cyberspace.
As for Jos’s questions:
1) The kids on Brat Camp were the most appropriate kids for this type of program that we could find in the limited time we had to prep the show. We had several kids of various other races who we hoped to include, but they couldn’t for one reason or another. Hope that’ll be different if we get to do another season.
2) Sorry you feel the show is too long. Even if you can only endure half an hour, I still thank you for watching.
3) I do know the people who made “Welcome to the Neighborhood.” They edited that show right next door to “Brat Camp.” They are really talented producers, and I thought it was a terrific show about race relations, though some people in high places obviously disagreed. As you can tell by this website, with a controversial show people either love it or hate it.
4) I know everybody loves “Amazing Race,” but come on…haven’t you guys enjoyed Big Bro this past week? I think it’s been some of our best episodes yet. Lots of intrigue and drama! And tell me that none of you have ever laughed at “The Surreal Life”?! I think that’s one of the funniest reality shows ever…and I haven’t even produced it since Tammy Faye and Ron Jeremy’s season 2.
As for The Family (yes, with George Hamilton!), the Hollywood Reporter called it “one of the funniest shows on television, reality or otherwise.” And the New York Times put it #8 on their list of top ten TV shows for 2003! So at least some people got it.
Anyway, hope some of you watch Big Bro tonight… and those of you with a soft heart will find room on your TiVo for “Brat Camp.” I’m really proud of that show, and so excited that people are watching.
Peace and Love, To All You Critics!
JP: If TVgasm happened to become a paid subscription website, I (and many others I’m sure) would be pulling out the Mastercards. By the way, B-Side and the rest of the TVgasm contributers make watching your crap a lot more enjoyable.
ok I think I am lost… Where did John Platt talk about tvgasm?
don’t worry B-side, I got your back
EROSion: One girl was molested. And not that that’s ok (at all), but it happens at some point to 1/3 of females in the United States. Unfortunately, it’s not unusual. It happened to me–I’m pretty sure to a worse extent and for a longer period of time than anyone on that show. Plus the “poor” life workin against me. But you didn’t see me cryin about it like that, right? Know why? Cause I don’t have time to, and never have. These are just the facts of life–and that’s not an option.
What I meant by “they have it good” is that they have someone to pay for things, to take care of them, to keep that spoon in their mouths. Lots of other people don’t have that, and still turn out alright. THAT is why the kids on the show are labelled “brats”–cause they DO have it good, but can’t stop whining long enough to take advantage of opportunities other people only WISH they had.
(I so knew someone was gonna react that way to what I said.)
Don’t get me wrong. I do wish the best for the kids. For God’s sake, I’m not trying to bestow hate or ill wishes on them. ALL I was saying is that they (the majority anyway) don’t realize how good they have it; and I think that’s a VERY fair statement. Part of the goal of the camp is to get them to rough it just a little bit and recognize how good their life really is compared to a lot of other people. But I’m done explaining my point of view for now… til later.
John,
Every webserver on the planet keeps a log of who visited and their IP address. I just used what you gave me.
But if you want to do an interview, please feel free to give us a call!
I am sitting enjoying the posts and then I come across Holly’s and I want to swallow my tongue.
OK – part of me thinks this is totally explotative and is taking advantage of these children and their families, but at the same I have gotten totally sucked in to this show! Help!
Todd-
You are so right! I was thinking the same thing. Maybe there is an adult version of “Brat Camp”…?
Don’t worry, John Platt. I think that the show is good and I don’t think you should change it. I enjoy it. Keep up the good work. btw. TAR rocks. It is my favorite show on television. This week of Big Brother was good. I started watching this season and I am hooked.
EROSion: don’t give them any ideas about making it a paid suscription. lol.
Wow your beyond immature this is a good show and you pic the tiniest things to make fun of like nicks dyslexia? It made no sence when you said why dont you pick someone your own size or was that just an attempt to be funny?
well haha its fucking hilariouse
I happened to laugh at the “pick on someone your own size” comment more than anything else in this recap. I guess I am just shallow (sigh!). Isn’t that ‘hilariouse’, QthiniceQ?
I never said it made you shallow
Hi John Platt ~ if you are who you say you are and you take the credit for Brat Camp, let’s see if you can answer this one question to prove yourself: when Lauren was crying about her fathers’ death, there was a song playing in the background. There are many who are wanting to know the name and artist of that song, but the show did not have the music credits at the end (point lost for that). Who is the artist of that song and what is the name of the song? If you can answer that question, you will keep me and many others as a believer and viewer.
QthiniceQ – actually, we weren’t making fun of dyslexia. We were poking fun at the common phrase “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size” (Because he picked on someone exactly his own size).
Don’t worry. It can be a little tricky, this TVgasm stuff.
I was just tellin my experience. If you think what I said makes me sound like a “brat,” it’s probably cause you grew up with the same middle and upper class privileges these kids have. Possibly you (being used generally) take some kind of subconcious offense to someone pointing out the obvious:
Kids whose parents have money have it easier than kids whose parents don’t; and often the problems they have are simply because they don’t take advantage of what’s around them. Of course that doesn’t apply to EVERY SINGLE person and EVERY SINGLE problem; but I find it to be fairly accurate in a disproportionate amount of cases.
Beyond that, think as you wish.
no im not upperclass or middle im actually poor
i think jada or heather were the only ones taking advantage of it deff jada i dont know about the other ones
Anyone who has been to camp knows about camp names. It’s an old custom and a wise practice in this context.
Brat Camp is a shrewdly targeted reality show, the only one I have been able to watch for more than 30 seconds. It’s the only one I know about with any element of reality about it. It’s fascinating for a parent like me, who just went through some of this with a son. The show captures the younger audience as well, judging from some other blogs I’ve read.
Jada is the worst off of all of them.
Sadly for her, she is going to have to learn her lessons the hard way. (The landscape is littered with failed female singers. I have backed up too many of them to count in my years playing guitar. Jada’s attitude, material, and voice are typical.) The only true thing she has said is about what suckers her parents are. If they hear that and still don’t get it, then shame on them.
Well let’s see Q, since you hadn’t even commented at the time I made that post, obviously I wasn’t talking to you.
er wait, you had commented, but not about that. :p
Anyway, I watched this show once. Thought it might actually be about kids with real problems, as in problems that they didn’t *bring on themselves*. But I was disappointed and haven’t watched it since.
Of course there are a couple instances w/kids in the camp where it was something outside of just their own crappy attitude. But not for the most part.
And the ones who did fall outside of that description are not unique cases at all. I’ve seen dozens just like ‘em and worse. But I guess they didn’t fit the whitebread America profile enough to be on the show.
Debbie,
Just FYI – The song you asked about is called “Hold On Tight.” It was composed by Robert Hartry & Rie (short for Laurie) Sinclair, who was also the singer. It’s not been released nationally, but is part of ABC’s in-house music library. One of our editors, Mark Baum, worked that song into his original cut of that scene.
John
Wow! that song is amazing! many ppl including i have been searching all over for it….
the only bad part of this show is the idoits who can’t realize that people in every class level and from every race and every religion and of every skin colour have problems and issues
There’s a messageboard ‘BRAT CAmp’ posted in this website
http://www.fanforum.com/showthread.php?t=51227
hmm ya, this is a great place for kids facing there problems and issues by making them live in the desert and confess all there problems with a camera in there face!Have u seen the food they eat too! It looks like they took this crap from crap and mixed it with some other crap in one giant pot!And where the fuck to they wash themselves!?this show pisses me off but iv seen evry episode cuz i cant strop watching it. one more episode to go.woohoo
o for people wondering why theres no black people on this show is cuz the parents who sent there kids here had to pay a BIG FUKIN LOAD of money for there kids to go. So anybody on this show is loaded.Thats why there arnt any black people on the show.IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN… Catch my drift?